The Arms of The Ocean
by peterpauper
Summary: It's peaceful in the deep; no need to pray, no need to speak. LokixOC.
1. Introductory Note

Hello to all old and new readers,

I just wanted to say a few things first to put things into context. Yes this is a Thor movie fanfiction. Movie. Not the comics. It will possibly follow on into an Avengers fanfiction based on the movie.  
I picked the movies because they are simple, because even comic and mythology fans have seen them.  
The story starts pre-movie Thor.

Characters are based on their movie roles including deleted scenes. Especially:

http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=o7BG-f5yjN0&feature=related

And

http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=weqpCcbmto0&feature=related

Feel free to ask me any questions (even as an anon) on my tumblr:

www(dot)peterpauper(dot)tumblr(dot)com

This is also the best place to see where my inspiration for the story comes from.

I hope you enjoy it. And as always constructive criticism is more than welcome.

P.


	2. Preface

**Preface**

* * *

Drowning is terrifying. Your lungs scream so loud that it feels like the popping in your ears is from their pain. Your heart runs slowly, scarily, like a bell tolling for your death. And in your mind you see everything you ever loved. Everything you would miss and everything you hoped would miss you.

You see everything; the sun pulling through cracks in the surface, the pattern of the water on your skin, the way your hair float in the current. It's beautiful but you can't appreciate it for the explosions in your head, the blind panic.

And it gets to you. You want to cry but you don't know the difference between the water and your tears. And then you start to swallow water in the hope it makes things go faster. We all want to slow life down until it comes to an end; then it couldn't come fast enough.

000

_Looking out from underneath,_  
_Fractured moonlight on the sea_  
_Reflections still look the same to me,_  
_As before I went under._

_And it's peaceful in the deep,_  
_Either way, you cannot breathe,_  
_No need to pray, no need to speak_  
_Now I am under._

_And it's breaking over me,_  
_A thousand miles onto the sea bed,_  
_Found the place to rest my head._

_In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,_  
_And all this devotion I never knew at all,_  
_And the crashes are Heaven, for a sinner released,_  
_And the arms of the ocean,_  
_Deliver me._

_(Florence and The Machine; Never Let Me Go)_


	3. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1  
**

* * *

Asgard is a beautiful place. The realm eternal. Those seeing it themselves for the first time lose their breath and are lost in the towering cliffs, the golden buildings, and the colour of life. The water around the city was so clear you felt as if it had no bottom, that it simply reflected the beach above. There were groves of musty scented sycamore trees and the clean, fresh smell of mint always flowed above it all.

Like all places inhabited by air breathing men there was a rolling of thunder between hills and a thickness to the air before a storm. When the rain hit it came softly at first then found its way into all the exposed places it could find.

A young woman stood and watched out over Asgard, over the multicoloured Bifrost, and enjoyed the feel of the air the rain carried as it wove its way under her skin. The air was sweet and fresh and carried a slight hint of salt as the wind carried a layer of the sea up to the palace. Over the way the morning sun was struggling to get through, pushing a dusky yellow into the grey.

The girl closer her eyes and let the goose bumps rise on her arms, her hand resting on the window sill and creating an island for the pools of water that began to gather on the old, golden stone.

The young woman opened her eyes as a voice broke into the drumming rain.

"Ava." It said in a baritone. "Come enjoy breakfast with your family."

The girl turned around to a large table with a fire in its centre, warming the two gathered around it. A man with a beard that had once been blonde but had now gone white encouraged her to them. His wife, Eira sat beside him, her eyes as grey as the stormy sea and her skin smooth like goats milk.

"Yes, father." Ava smiled and walked over to them, her bare feet absorbing the coolness of the tiles below them. "I am just enjoying the weather."

The man smiled, a scar above his lip pulling part of the top of his mouth a bit higher than the rest. "Are you looking forward to tonight?"

The woman opened her full mouth and added to her husband's question. "It will be beautiful. Everyone will be there."

Ava sat down and picked up a piece of orange. She began to peel the flesh away from the rind with her thumb nail. "I know what it will be like, mother. I've been to a feast before." She smiled. "I know this is important to you though and I shall be a very good daughter."

"Thank you." Her mother put a hand over her father's and said no more.

There was a silence.

"It is time for me to retire." The man looked his daughter in the eye and smiled warmly. "Asgard is at peace and Thor has gotten the hand of his infernal hammer. The young people can do all the work now so an old man can sit down."

Ava let the corner of her mouth come up. "You are hardly old, father. A little grey and wrinkly but still not mortal."

"They do get very grey and wrinkly down on earth, don't they?" The man laughed, the rain seeming to soften for the sound.

Ava's mother smiled. "If only your brother were here."

The young woman glanced at the piece of fruit in her hands and then at the rain outside.

Niklaus, the eldest of the Sijur children, had not lived past his sixteenth birthday. Ava had been young at the time and could never forget the colour of his hair. It was the only thing they shared; hair the colour of golden ash that seemed to turn white in the long summer. His sister wore hers long and straight, the front loosely swept away from her face. He wore his in an eternal sleep. Their mother had never quite got over the loss of her son. To see his smile on the lips of her daughter reminded her so much of him that for a moment it felt like he was there. But he wasn't. To lose a son before your husband is a burden to bear indeed and she had never recovered. Eira had become frail before her time though retained her elegance and poise. And though she loved her daughter very much she reminded her too much of the little boy she had so cared for.

"You have not met Thor yet, have you?" Ava's father said as he drank from a goblet made of white gold.

"No, I have not. Many people go to many feasts and parties and it is impossible to meet them all. I am sure he has not had the time to meet all the men who serve him dutifully let alone the ladies of the court. Some of my friends have met him though. They say he is quite charming."

"I am sure he is." Her father laughed again, the sound booming. "Especially when beautiful young woman are around."

"If that is the case then when I meet him he shall be falling over his tongue and will lose his allure entirely." Ava said with a grin.

Her mother scowled at her. "Don't say that, Ava. You are just as lovely as your friends."

"No, mother. You are lovely. I have limbs like a foal." She was still smiling as she said it. Ava had never filled out the way the other girls had. They all inherited curves and she had been gifted with the appearance of a willow tree with cheekbones. They were like roses in full bloom while she was a daisy peeking out of tall grass.

"That would be my fault." Her father admitted sheepishly. "Sorry."

The young woman leant over and kissed the man on the cheek. "It's okay. You gave me a very straight nose for which I am eternally grateful."

The laugh echoed around again, captured inward by the rain.

0.0.0

Hours later the sun still not had come out and the air crisp. Ava sat in a large room embossed with gold detailing, her reflection staring at her from an ovular mirror embedded in a vanity of alabaster stone. She held a tear-drop shaped piece of gold to one ear and a sapphire stud to the other, deciding upon which would be most suitable. The daughter of a retired war hero would always have all the trappings she could ever want and more. Asgard was naturally a place of abundance but was even more so after a line of victories. But, seeing her father's face when he spoke of the war against the Ice Giants she wondered if such gain was worth such loss.

Ava looked over her shoulder at the wall above her bed. Above the golden sheets and carved headboard hung a beautiful bow crafted of white oak. Someone had taken a lot of care in etching gold birds into its ends. Her father had given her the weapon as a gift when she came of age and told her "this is not a weapon. This is what you fight with but not what you fight for. Never start a fight, my daughter, but always make sure you finish one."

Ava had no military training, only self defence. But she loved that bow. It was forthright and honest and though she missed her mark from time to time it never strayed from the direction she pointed it, even if it was the wrong one.

The young woman considered herself very fortunate.

"Ava." Eira's voice entered the room and a middle aged woman scurried in before of her. "Your hairdresser is here."

"Thank you, mother."

The woman turned to the other. "I want her to look elegant tonight."

Ava watched her mother leave and wondered if the woman would ever be able to let go of her son and love what she had left with both arms. She turned back to the mirror and cast her eyes beyond it at the great window that exposed the city before her.

The hairdresser wove gentle braids elegantly around her head, her neck exposed to the air of the night. She was soon joined by a make-up artist with pens of creamy gold to surround for the eyes and brushes full of dusky pink for the cheekbones.

By the time they were done Eira had come in wearing a silver gown, holding one made of sky blue out to her daughter. It would climb from her collarbones to her shoulders and drop down her back, wrapping together at her waist and moulding itself into a flowing skirt.

"You look lovely, mother."

"And you, Ava." The woman kissed her child on the cheek gently. "You must dress and join your father. He is already with Odin and the queen. I will be joining him now. Come as soon as you are ready."

"I will." The young woman smiled. "It is hard to think that I will be meeting them."

"It is a large palace that we live in, Ava. You could go your whole life and not see a single member of the royal family. Your father has given us great connections, of which you shall be linked to tonight."

Ava nodded. "Mother, I know you wanted Niklaus to be here today. I know you wanted him to follow father's footsteps and become a great man. And he would have done it. But I am here for you."

"I know." Eira smiled and kissed her daughter on the forehead.

She loved both of her children equally but she still mourned for her son and that hole that was left in her heart inhibited all else. She was no longer the woman she had been. Ava longed to help her recover; help her finally get over the loss. But the woman knew she still had a whole, living child and though it was enough for her, you can never get over the loss of someone you bore in your belly and held in your arms.

"I love you." Ava said easily. "And I will see you at the feast."

The girl saw the woman who had helped her prepare before closing the door to her room and slipping out of her day clothes, the gown for that evening hanging over her arm. It was light and airy and crafted beautifully. The air that fell with the rain caught the ledge of the window and flowed into her room, against her skin, into her senses.

Asgard was a place of beautiful warmth but the rain, the rain was elegant and needed and underappreciated. It was more beautiful than the sun but never seemed to bring the same happiness.

Ava slid her dress on and found her shoes before leaving to the open corridors of the palace. The feast was being held in a great hall with great long tables and a space for those drunk, or young, enough to dance. The walls were glistening gold and the floor made of the finest marble. The smell of roasting pork, venison, pheasant, beef, and chicken wafted from the kitchens and the scent of women's perfume would engulf whoever passed close enough.

Ava stood at the door and lifted onto her toes to see where her father was. He was standing in his formal attire, burgundy and black and silver leathers and cottons, with a goblet in one hand. Her mother stood beside him, an arm warmly on his and her attention turned to the queen of Asgard and her beautiful caramel hair.

"Looking for someone?" A smooth voice entered her thoughts.

Ava glanced at the sound and saw a man dressed in blacks, greens, and gold standing with his hands behind his back, his eyes observing the party but still taking her in. Looking back, that was the first thing she saw when she looked at him. His eyes. They were the colour of the shallow sea on a sunny day; a translucent green overlayed with blue that felt bottomless and eternal.

"Prince Loki." The young woman turned to him and bowed her head. "I am sorry if I disturbed you."

"I think I disturbed you. Did you see who you were searching for?" His smile only caught the corners of his mouth but his face was expressive and seemingly amused.

"Yes, thank you. I promised my mother I would join her and my father as soon as I arrived."

"Ah. Checking in with the parents?"

Ava smiled. "It is my father's party."

"Oh." Loki turned his shoulder to her. "You must be Ava."

"I am. A pleasure to meet you."

"You look a bit disappointed."

The young woman opened her mouth but stopped to smile in an embarrassed way. "My mother was set on introducing me to the royalty of Asgard tonight."

"Ah." The man smiled. "Then I shall not say a word. I must go and find my brother so we have an alibi. It was lovely not to meet you."

Ava smiled sweetly. "And you."

The young woman watched Loki walk off, his green cape filling with air before it followed him. She frowned for a moment at the meeting before striding off toward her father. She often met strangers at parties but none dubbed The God of Mischief or The God of Thunder. They were surely the same as the rest of them, their blood red, their tears salty; but their titles, their positions, elevated them above the rest.

Erik welcomed his child with a broad arm and kissed her on the head. "Frigga, meet my daughter."

"A pleasure." The queen nodded at the young woman untangling herself from the burly muscles of a veteran.

Ava was astonished at how beautiful the queen was. She was elegant and soft and authorities all at the same time. "An honour."

"You look like your mother, Ava." Frigga spoke evenly and with a smile. "You are both lovely."

"Thank you."

"I hope you do not have your father's sense of humour. It has rubbed off all too much on my husband."

Ava laughed. "I assure you that I have much better taste."

"Better taste than Erik Sijur? No." A voice louder than her father's entered the circle.

The young woman caught herself as The God of Thunder, Thor Odinson himself addressed her.

"Why he has not introduced his daughter to me has always been a mystery." His voice was full of humour. "I thought it was because you were perhaps as ugly as he is but I see I could not have been more wrong."

"That is exactly why you have not met her, Thor." The men embraced, whacking each other on the back in familiarity before turning to the woman nearby. Frigga shook her head at her eldest son.

The young man's smile softened. "It is an honour to finally meet you."

"The honour is mine." Ava nodded. Despite the bloodline around her she still felt like a little girl after a party, waiting with her parents as they discussed life with their friends.

"Your father taught me Thor how to wield an axe. Did you know that?" Eira made her move at being a piece in the indirection.

Ava replied that she did not.

Thor laughed a deep rumbling laugh. "My father wanted his sons to master as many weapons as possible but, as good as he is with most no one is better than Erik Sijur an axe."

Ava knew her father did not speak of his days fighting with is family and at that moment his smile seemed vaguely forced.

"Ah. Meet my brother." Thor opened an arm to receive the God of Mischief.

"I think her mother should do the introduction, Thor. Is it not a mother's duty to introduce her daughter?"

"Of course, I am sorry Eira. Do the honours."

The woman rolled her eyes. "Ava, meet Loki son of Odin."

Ava was humoured. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"And you." He dipped his head at her, smiling a smile that was shared with the young woman.

"Now that we are all introduced I must take your father, Ava. Is that alright?"

"So long as you do not hurt him I am okay with it."

"Hurt him? I only mean to give him a retirement present! The old man needs something new."

"Old?" Erik eyed the young man. "Who are you calling old?"

"You, of course."

Eira watched the pair leave and turned to Frigga. "He is like his father."

"That he is." Was the elegant reply.

"A pity about the weather." Loki engaged Ava as she stood silently on her own.

"Pity? No. It's lovely."

"You like the rain?"

"I prefer the sun but I do love it when it rains. Its not particularly party weather but it is lovely."

The young man glanced over to where his brother's red cape was vanishing into the crowd. "So Thor ruined your mother's moment."

Ava laughed. "She'll live."

Eira stood near her daughter and spoke to Frigga easily.

"They seem to be old friends."

Loki watched the women for a moment. "They are. Making it even more unusual that you had not been introduced until now."

"I think my mother always wanted her eldest child to be introduced first but he was not around for the honour. It hurts her."

"I heard you had a brother. I am sorry for your loss."

"It was a long time ago." Ava smiled at a small memory. "He would have been very popular. You are lucky to have a good brother."

"Thor is a good brother. He is popular as well. The ladies are very fond of him."

The young woman could see why. "A blonde warrior is never single for long."

"Any intentions?"

"With Thor?" Ava opened her eyes inquisitively. "I do not think we know each other well enough for you to ask that."

Loki laughed. "I apologise. If you do I think you will have to battle Sif for it. Mother seems fond of that match."

Frigga was known to have prophetic abilities though she never shared them.

"I shall not be battling Sif for anything I think. She is beautiful but her skills in battle are probably on par with yours."

"You do not fight?"

"No, I do not."

"What do you do?"

"I recite Alfheimer poetry." Ava replied pithily.

Loki laughed.

"I am just a regular person." The young woman replied.

"Regular people are capable of the most extraordinary things. They are the least ordinary."

Ava eyed the man. "You flatter me. You are a sovereign prince of Asgard with a proud family history that is told in books and on tapestries, even on the walls of this palace and in the crypts below and yet you have taken the time to talk to a general's daughter on the night of his retirement."

"It is his party."

The brow of the young woman knit together for a brief moment. There was more to every person than you ever knew and more to every word that could ever be understood. But if over analysed each person, their actions, their words…they could all lead the world to crumble and fall.

But if appreciated, if comprehended for their meaning and not neccisarily their full context, then the universe could be more breathtaking than anyone thought possible, and hold more hope than anyone ever dreamed of.

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed chapter 1. Please review and let me know what you thought. All constructive criticism is welcome.  
Remember that you can ask me anything on my tumblr . Most of my inspiration is put down there so hopefully something there inspires you too._

Thank you for reading.  
P. 


	4. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2  
**

* * *

The feast began with much vigour and carried on well into the night. Ava was seated opposite her mother and beside Thor. Her father, Odin himself, and Frigga took up the head of the table and celebrated happily.

It was a ceremony full of familiarity, a formality between friends like some secret pact shared long ago and upheld that day. Maybe all retired generals got the same treatment but there was something behind the laughs and stories that suggested much more than a simple working relationship between Odin and Erik. They were friends. Good friends. But friends with a history that Erik did not want his daughter to be part of; he wanted her to be part of the peace and prosperity of Asgard and not the wars that brought them into their time. Slowly Ava began to understand that it was not Odin he did not want her to meet, but rather his past. And now that one had been introduced along with its sons and wife, surely the rest would follow no matter how hard her father's strong arms tried to fight it.

The young woman turned her attention to Thor as a servant filled her wine glass. "What was your gift to my father?"

The man laughed. "The chair he sat in during all the long meetings. An old man needs a good chair."

"And you want a new one." Loki spoke up from across the table.

"Don't demoralise the gift, brother. It is a fine chair."

Ava smiled. Her friends sat a few tables over and kept hissing her name to get her attention.

"Your friends are very eager for you to join them." Thor nodded at them, causing a small wave of swoons around their table.

Ava shook her head. "I think they want to join me here. Many are very big fans of yours."

"Of me?" Thor laughed. "Why on earth would they be fans of me?"

"You're a prince."

His smile stayed but the laugh vanished. "Nice to know they are fond of my abundant personality."

Ava smiled. Being around Thor felt safe. He was a bright beam of sunlight, strong and penetrating. His brother, on the other hand, was like a shadow. Tall and upright and took your attention from the brightness but never seemed to want to overcome it.

"I think your friends" Ava saw Sif and her warriors three down the table "want your attention."

Thor laughed again. "They see me more than enough. Besides, I think it is more about stopping Volstagg from eating the table than it is about anything else."

Before any reply could be made Odin had stood up and the whole room fell dead silent within a matter of moments. The Ruler had white hair and a gold patch covering his eye. He stood tall, even in his age, and was obviously proud of his people and of his land.

"Friends!" He spoke loudly, his voice encompassing all else. "We are here to celebrate the career of my comrade Erik Sijur." He turned to the man seated beside him. "It has been a great honour, my friend. I hope you now find the peace and quiet the years in my service have robbed you of. You have upheld your family name and the city of Asgard and you have done more than your duty ever required you to do." Odin returned his gaze to his guests. "I raise my glass to you, Erik."

Ava lifted her cup, took a small sip and clapped for her father. He winked at her across the table and she laughed at him. They had always had a good relationship, even after Niklaus had died. He was the one who had explained to her that it was not her fault that her mother had become distant, that it did not mean her love had diminished, only that her soul was now weary with sorrow. He had taught her geography, about the other worlds and of the Bifrost. He had shown her how to wield a long knife and track game when out with a hunting party.

After the meal, Ava went straight to him and kissed his cheek. "I am proud of you, father."

He pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Thank you, daughter. It is good to know that tonight I will sleep without having to worry about tactics and preparations."

"You will sleep without dreams for the wine in your belly, not because you are now old and retired."

Erik shook his head at his child. "Do not get cheeky."

Ava squeezed his hand and left him to all the others who wished to congratulate him. She found her friends and spent the rest of the night with them, talking of what it was like to meet Thor and whether he was as charming in real life as he was in their minds.

"He is a good man" she had told them "headstrong and loyal."

And once that topic had been exhausted they spoke of future parties and the latest dances that would be performed at them. Toward the end of the evening, when everyone was a warmer for the drink and had eaten their full, the young Sijur found herself alone at the edge of the party, standing at the brink of a large terrace and watching the night as it cleared.

The rain had stopped an hour ago and the clouds were letting patches of night through.

Ava stepped out into the open and walked out a way, the hem of her dress catching in puddles and the wet fabric sticking to her ankles. She looked up at the sky and saw the stars huddled together against the post-rain chill.

The young woman wrapped her hands around her elbows and held her arms close to herself. The small gaps of starlight were breathtaking; it didn't matter about the clouds passing over them – they were always there. Light like that does not vanish. It cannot be overcome by shadow and doubt. It cannot be killed. It cannot be taken. It remained. Like the soul of one much loved.

Footsteps followed to where she stood and Ava looked sideways to see Loki, his green cloak wet at the end but his boots much more confident in the water than her sandals were.

The young woman closed her eyes and inhaled. "I love that smell."

Loki watched her out of the corner of her eye. "You're going to find those shoes very slippery when you step back inside. The floor is unforgiving when wet."

"I shall probably be more centred than some those who took the opportunity of free wine a bit too vigorously." Ava looked back at the party. Thor was raising a toast to a friend of his, laughing as he did so.

The young woman glanced at her feet for a brief moment. "I apologise if I was too familiar with you earlier this evening. I was not instructed on how to meet a prince, only that it would happen one day."

"You have nothing to apologise for. You have done better than most. Anyway, it is better to be honest than rigid with formality."

The girl smiled. "Though I had not met you, you and I have had an encounter before. I doubt you remember."

"Oh?"

"You were at a party when I was younger and I was having my first glass of wine. You couldn't have known this at all but you did ruin it for me." She was smiling, remembering some far off memory. "You were a boy and I think you were just trying to scare a group of girls…but you did so by turning the contents of my goblet into three snakes."

Loki laughed, the sound bursting from him.

Ava joined him briefly before mentioning that she was absolutely terrified of snakes; more than anything else in the entire universe. "I could not move until you made them vanish. My friends all took off screaming and laughed about it all night."

"What did you do?"

"I went home and cried." She laughed as only one with hindsight can.

Loki shook his head shortly as if trying to visualise the memory clearly. "I do not remember but that does sound like something I would have done when I was younger."

"God of Mischief indeed."

Ava looked up at the sky again and saw the clouds pulling themselves together for one last downpour. You could smell it on the wind. "It's going to rain again."

Loki looked up and saw the clouds knitting themselves together again. "Sooner rather than later I fear."

Ava looked up to see the last of the stars before turning to head back to the party. The first drop splattered on her cheek and then the rest dropped itself in a last assault.

The young woman quickly turned her head down and gasped for the cold of the rain. Then she began to laugh and turned her face back up. She heard a laugh beside her before the words to hurry back inside came through the water.

They turned and began to hurry towards cover. It was a good thirty meters behind where she had stopped wandering out and felt like a mile due to the rate the rain was coming down. Loki was already laughing lowly when they got there but she joined him soon after.

He was right in saying her shoes would not bode well when wet on the floors. She slid a foot before a hand caught her, fingers around her elbow. Ava steadied herself quickly and started to laugh sweetly, like air.

The young man's hair dripped wet though and his cape was drenched but he was otherwise was okay, his body fairly dry beneath his thick leather-type clothes.

Ava, on the other hand was drowned. She wiped her hands over her face and then quickly under her eyes in case the makeup that had been applied ran off. It had. Golden streaks covered her fingers and she laughed as she wiped it off.

Her dress stuck to her but was fortunately not so light that it went see through as some of the other girls' gowns might have.

She laughed again. She seemed to be laughing a lot that night. It felt good. Even if she had laughed all the day before it would have felt refreshing, healthy for the soul. The rain sounded like a thousand soldiers marching to battle. It would stop in an hour knowing the summer weather in Asgard.

"I would offer you my cape but I am afraid its condition is just as bad as yours."

"And probably just as cold." Ava shook her head. "I am sure you're getting a very bad impression of me. Just don't tell your brother; the fewer of you that know the better."

Loki raised his hand and a servant was quickly beside him. The man unclipped his cape and handed it to the man. "Please fetch some towels and bring them to the sitting room." He turned to Ava. "Come. Let's at least get you warm before you head home."

Frigga took that moment to come searching for her son and found him wet beside the drenched daughter of the guest of honour. She stared at the young man with a quizzical look only mothers can give before turning to the girl.

"Ava. Are you alright?"

"I am fine, thank you." She replied politely. "I just wanted to see the stars but the rain hadn't finished with Asgard yet."

She smiled. "You must be freezing. Loki, have you had a chance to get some towels brought?"

"Yes."

"Good." Frigga put a warm hand on her son's arm. "I will attend to our guest. You go get into something dry as well. I will bring her one of my dresses to wear home."

"Oh, do not worry." Ava stopped her. "I live in an apartment that is just up a level or two. It would just be a minute or two."

"I insist, Ava." The queen replied. "I would hate for you to get sick just because you wanted to see the stars."

The young woman opened her mouth but Frigga put a finger up to stop her. Loki seemed to be trying to hide his amusement at his mother treating Ava so well, even if it was against the guest's will. Sometimes you just have to love someone when they refuse it because it is what is best for them, because you know it is the only thing keeping them sane.

"Goodnight, Ava." Loki said evenly.

The girl smiled. "Goodnight, Loki. Please apologise to your brother and father for my not being able to give them a proper farewell."

"I will."

Frigga put a soft hand on Ava's shoulder and guided her to a warm, wide room with a huge fire. On a table sat a stack of towels and beside them a long sleeved cream dress.

The queen stayed at the door. "I will leave you to it."

"Thank you." Ava said quietly. "I appreciate it very much."

Frigga nodded warmly. "Let one of the servants know if you need anything. Just leave your dress here. We will deal with it."

"I can take it back with me. It is really no trouble."

"Ava, let me be a good host." The woman smiled. "You are in no one's way and you are being no trouble, stop trying to reduce an effect that is non existent."

Frigga shut the door quietly before the girl could reply or apologise or do whatever it was that suddenly buzzed into her head.

Ava stood at the door and felt like the woman had seen into her soul. She had never wanted to get in anyone's way, doing things herself if she could help it. Things like hair and makeup and cleaning had always been things she had compensated the workers for but favours…they were all together different.

Ava turned away and went back to the table with a silent smile. The night was turning out to be very memorable. The princes were good young men and though she had seen more of Loki, Ava knew that Thor was a man of honour as well. They had both been good to her; the eldest with his unjudging nature and youngest in the way he approached her and helped her even when he did not have to. They both had their stereotypes as warrior and sorcerer respectively but Ava had seen little of this. She had just seen two men. Two people who seemed little different from the many other Asgardians she knew.

The young woman petted her face with a towel and unpinned her hair, running it free with her fingers. She stood by the fire as she unpeeled her dress and let it sit in a sad little puddle on the floor. The outfit provided was comfortable and warm even though her hair left wet marks on the shoulders and down the back. The girl folded her wet gown and left it on top of the towels she had used before heading to the door and slipping back out. Ava headed off quickly, skirting the party and hurrying up a few flights of stairs before reaching her destination.

It had been an eventful evening, one she was sure never to forget. The young woman knew the apartment was empty. Her parents were still at the party. She went straight to her room to change out of the queen's dress. She held it for a moment, letting its fabric play through her fingers.  
Ava looked up to her window with a quiet smile. The rain plummeted outside and the moonlight struggled its way through.  
The next day would be sunny and warm; it always was after such a downpour.  
Everything always was.

* * *

_Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. Please review and let me know what you thought; all constructive criticism welcome.  
Remember that you can ask me anything on my tumblr . Most of my inspiration is put down there so hopefully something there inspires you too._

_Thank you for reading._  
_P._


	5. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3  
**

* * *

A loud bang woke Ava up. She rolled over onto her stomach with a groan and opened her eyes. The light was streaming through her curtains and the sky was blue and clear.

The bang turned out to be her door closing a bit too loudly after whoever had delivered her breakfast. Perhaps her parents thought she had consumed too much wine or perhaps they weren't the only ones who had slept late.

The young woman slowly sat up, putting her legs beneath her and stretching her arms above her head. Her hands found their way down and through her hair as she climbed out of bed and pulled a silk robe on. Breakfast was fresh fruit and a glass of milk.

Ava walked to her balcony with a piece of sliced orange and the glass. Outside she could see the ocean rolling against the cliffs that held up the Bifrost. It was a gorgeous day. The water on the ground that remained from the night before glistened clearly and you could see the footprints of those who had walked on the sand earlier that day.

The young woman rested her arms on the alabaster of her balcony and felt it cool and smooth beneath her skin. The sun was hot on her face and she closed her eyes to it for a long moment, relishing in the way the warmth spread throughout her skin.

When she opened her eyes and turned to her room the brightness of the day flooded into her vision and blinded her for a brief moment. When Ava looked up she saw the dress from the night before hanging on a hook behind her door. Frigga's dress. The queen's dress. Ava collected it and held it up in front of her face. Only now did she see how fine the stitching was, how carefully someone had made it. Only now did she see that someone appreciated the queen enough to take so much time to not only make a good garment, but a great one.

The young woman took the dress into her family suites and found a servant carrying a cloth for dusting.

"Excuse me?" Ava said to the woman whose wrinkles wrote stories in her face. "Could you please have this washed carefully. It was leant by the queen and I would hate for it to be sent back dirty or damaged."

"Of course, my lady."

Ava did not know the names of any of the servants. She saw them so infrequently. They were like mice who went about their business quietly, unseen except as little shadows scurrying along the walls.

"Thank you." Ava smiled and received a smile in return.

The woman hurried off with the dress, leaving the young woman alone in a long hallway. She pressed her hands together listlessly before wandering back to her room and slipping into a cream day dress with elegant sleeves made of fine chiffon.

Ava swept a piece of the front of her hair off her face and secured it with a gold clip shaped like a star flower. She then walked straight up to her bed and took the bow from the wall. A quiver full of arrows sat in her closer and she fetched them quietly and headed out into the palace.

Ava wandered through great halls and winding corridors with amazing views until she came to an exit into the city. Her feet found a path that led her to a cliff high above the sea. A rock with a severed face sat in the middle of a field full of yellow daises and she stopped there.

Twenty feet away sat a set of hay bales with targets painted onto them.

It was a beautiful place to be. So clear and quiet and high.

Ava set her quiver on the ground and put a string to her bow, testing it before notching an arrow to the weapon. The world was quiet when she held her bow. It felt so far off. She focused on a target and let the arrow fly. It thudded into the hay and buried half its shaft within the bale. It only hit the edge of the target.

Ava drew another arrow back and this time hit closer to the centre of the circles.

She heard voices coming over the hill but did not pay attention. The field she was in sat beside a path that led to a small dock where sailors trained and quiet fish market was set up. It was known, to those who knew of it, as the best fish market in Asgard. Eira had visited it often but did no longer.

"Ava!" A booming voice caught the girl off guard. It took a moment for her not to turn around and accidentally shoot the person and another for her to release her arrow and plant it into the target.

Thor stood with Sif and her warriors three and began to approach when he saw the young woman was unstringing her bow.

"I did not know you could shoot." He said evenly.

"I can't." Ava laughed. "At least not as well as I should like."

Thor laughed with her and told Sif and her warriors to carry on, that he would meet them soon. "We are going to the small docks for some training."

"What training could the small docks offer?"

"Spear practice. We give the fish to the market there when we're done." There was a pause. "It is not so much training as an escape from a hot day with an excuse, but my men seem less likely to hit themselves in the foot with a spear after."

Ava smiled. "Then it is beneficial to all."

How different Thor was to her father; he saw the purpose in war but also the joy in victory, in knowing that your sacrifice was worth it. Erik seemed to only see that which he had protected and then the blood covering his own hands.

Ava saw the rock in the field behind Thor. She knew that sitting in its broken face offered a fine view of the sea. For a moment she took on a memory and lost her conversation.

"What is wrong?" Thor stopped when he saw the young woman's smile change.

Ava blinked. "Sorry. I got caught up in my own head there." She looked out at the sea, the Bifrost in her peripheral vision. "My brother and I used to spend a lot of time in this field."

"I am sorry."

"You must not be sorry." Ava seemed embarrassed for a moment. "I apologise for bring it up."

"I am honoured that you would tell me of this place. Do you come here often now?"

"Oh yes." The young woman smiled. "There are many good memories here. And it is a quiet place to practice and my archery coach cant yell at me because he does not know where I am."

Thor laughed.

Ava wiped a strand of hair away from her mouth. "You would have been good friends with him, I think."

Thor was not smiling but his presence was full of steady confidence, his attention fully hers. "What was his name?"

"Niklaus, after his great grandfather." Ava put a hand on the warm stone before beginning to walk the path again. "He was much younger than I am now when he passed on."

"I am sorry that you lost him so early."

"Many are lost earlier."

"It does not make the burden of death any easier to bear."

Ava smiled a sad smile. "It is a burden I am willing to bear. It is better than having lost him and not picked up any memories at all."

Thor put a hand on her shoulder. "He would have been proud of you, I think."

"Thank you." She knew that he hardly knew her but she was sharing with him something personal and felt fully that he would respect that.

After the initial embarrassment of sharing such a close memory Ava settled into a short conversation about an upcoming feast and how Thor would have her at their table. She accepted warmly and watched the blonde and his broad shoulders disappear toward the docks and his old friends.

The God of Thunder was a good man, handsome and strong and honest. He was everything a girl wished for and he had a laugh that was highly contagious but Ava felt, she felt as if she knew in her heart that she would never be someone in his life who he would come to in times of trouble. Even in the short time she had known him she felt this. It was not because she was untrustworthy but because there are just some people, some souls, who are designed to look out at views together and speak of truth and life but never overlap.

And she was glad to have him in her life. Glad to know such a good man. Glad that he was possibly a friend; a true friend because he could be no less.

Ava restrung her bow and continued to stand alone in the sun. A week ago she would not have looked up for any passers by but now those on the track to the docks knew her and they were royal and important. But they were so very human too.

0.0.0

When Ava arrived back at her family suites Frigga's dress was washed and dried and smelled fresh and clean. The servant asked if she would like it delivered and she replied that she would do it herself.

The young woman put her bow down on her now made bed and changed clothes. After handing the garment to someone she would head straight to the stable and take her horse to the beach. It was one of her favourite things to do a day after rain; the sand was firm and the water cool but the sun was warm and the beaches open.

The young woman pulled on her riding pants and boots with some effort. They were never easy garments to get on or take off. She tugged a high collared shirt over her head and fetched the fitted leather riding jacket her father insisted she wear in case she came off. The leather was light armour to men in the army and though it would do little against a decent fall from a horse it might do something against the cutting power of hooves.  
Her mother was with the ladies of the court that day, possibly planning a feast in someone's honour. Her father was no doubt at the training yards watching the young men and thinking so deeply the furrow between his brow had its own shadow.

Ava did not know the way to the royal suites but a pair of guards set her in the right direction and she knew she had found the right place when a great pair of gold doors stood in front of her guarded by two huge men in tall helmets and long capes.

She felt like a child standing before them.

"What business do you have here?" One asked, his voice hollowed by his helmet.

"I was leant a dress by the queen and I am here to return it."

The man eyed her so carefully Ava felt as if she were being stripped. "I will pass on the message."

The young woman frowned. "So where do I put the dress?"

"You take it back with you. You will be told when is a good time to return it."

Ava pondered this for a moment. "I do not understand."

"It is fine, men." A familiar voice entered the hallway behind her. "She is no threat."

The young woman turned to see Loki walking toward the guards.

"She is with me."

As soon as he spoke those words they great doors opened and the men in the helmets went silent. Just like that. Loki stopped by the young woman and put a warm hand on her arm.

"Come in." He said evenly.

Ava smiled and followed. She stepped into a huge waiting room with a round fire in its centre. The girl caught herself looking at a painting on the wall depicting an ancient battle where white horses ran from the sea with soldiers on their backs.

Loki smiled. "Sorry about the doormen. They mean well. Father just wants to make sure the family gets their privacy."

Ava noticed a guard down the hall in the royal suites. "How many of them are in here?"

"A few." The prince followed her eyes. "All good men."

Ava brought her gaze back to him, a bit overwhelmed with where she was standing. The guards and brazen doors set into her mind just how important and special these people were. Human, maybe more so than anyone else, but very important nonetheless.

"I just wanted to bring this back to your mother. I had it cleaned."

The man raised a hand and a servant appeared out of a side room. He motioned to the dress and it was quickly whisked out of the young woman's hands. Ava stared after it.

"I'll tell her you say thank you." The prince was still smiling. "Will you stay?"

"You want me to stay?"

"Of course."

His sincerity caught her off guard.

He saw a moment of hesitation in her face. "Unless you were going somewhere?"

"I was going to go riding." Ava smiled and he saw that she was being honest. That she could only be honest. "Did you want to come?"

"I think I shall. It has been a day full of rooms and diplomats. I should have walked out with Thor."

"Walked out?"

"Father said we could leave for other business."

"You did not?"

"I did not."

Ava sensed something deeper than staying for economy and war plans.

"Let us go down the back way. It is quicker." Loki said as he began to walk off.

Ava took a moment to comprehend that. "Where?"

"To the stables. You've never been invited somewhere before?"

The young woman laughed lightly and began to match her step to his. "Not by a prince."

"Princes and kings are the same as regular people."

"They are the same in that they are fragile, that they are made of flesh and blood and that they feel with their hearts and build with their hands. But they are rulers, you are successors, you were born knowing your power unlike others who were born training it."

"It is not better to earn power than to be born with it?"

"Every king earns his power. Even if he is born with it he must still learn how to use it."

Loki smiled and watched her. "You sound like my father."

"He is a wise man."

"Oh." His tone became teasing. "You think yourself wise."

Ava scowled at him good naturedly. She took in the grand suites. They were finer than those her family possessed by a long way and that was hard to comprehend. They saw no one as they exited through a back door and into a servant's staircase that led to the stable. They spoke the whole way down; spoke of worlds through the Bifrost, of stars in other people's skies and ways of life.

They stepped out into the stable courtyard speaking of humans. Of mortals who called earth their home.

"They are beautiful people but they are so doubtful. So closed minded without their science." Ava said as she walked into the stable. It was warm and smelled of hay, barley and horse sweat.

"They do not believe in many gods, no." Loki stopped and laid his hand on a horse's nose.

The young woman went down a few stalls to a bright bay gelding with a sliver of white running down its face.

"Is that one yours?" The man asked.

Ava smiled and kept her eyes on the horse. "Father gave him to me last year. He is a good horse. Simple minded, maybe. But good. I've always loved horses; they talk back to you if you listen." The animal pricked its ears to listen to her. "They are very loyal, very honest."

Loki put a hand on the gelding's cheek and it turned its face to him, sticking its nose into his thick shirt. He laughed. It was a good laugh. Ava got the feeling that this man did not laugh unless he truly meant to.

"Which is yours?"

A servant down the way was tacking a great chestnut with a brave face. Loki took the animal in as Ava spoke again.

"Which do you think is faster?"

He looked back at her and saw a glimmer of mischief in her eyes.

Half an hour later they were racing through an open field, cliffs to one side and the city limits to the other. The horses had their heads and were going flat out, charging forward with all the power that came from an animal composed of so much muscle and bone.

Ten minutes before and they had not stopped talking.

It was easy to speak to Loki. The God of Mischief was not about darkness and light, shadow and secret. He was expressive, his face an open book to his emotions. He could play the game well but his heart and his mind were clearly connected. This could be his downfall or it could make him a greater man than any thought possible.

Ava and Loki walked the beach together that day. It was not a long stretch but they went up and down it at least twice, their words moving from weather and parties to politics and war. By sundown they were standing on the shore watching as the waves lifted salt spray up and drowned out all noise except that exchanged between them.

Ava had to stop herself and remember who she was with many times but the formality slipped and faltered into a mutual, unconscious flow of words between friends. He had become her friend. A prince of Asgard, a god, had become her friend. Thor was her friend too, but not like this. Ava did not feel like she could touch Thor's soul but Loki seemed to lay his bare like the bottom of the ocean on a clear day. You could not judge its depth or how it would react and cloud over on a bad day but it was there. It was thoughtful and determined, passionate and possibly even dangerous.

But it was good. It was sincere. He never hid anything; he just did not speak of some things. He possessed all sorts of shades of grey while his brother was clearly black and white.

Their horses slowed as a line of tree's approached and steadied to a walk, still eager to run but also hot from the stretch of land already covered.

Ava laughed breathlessly. "Okay, yours is faster." She leant one hand on the pommel of her saddle and used the other to twist her hair over her shoulder. She took the clip out of her hair and reset it easily.

"You should see Thor's horse."

"Fast?"

"Not so much fast as it is huge."

Ava looked over the space they had covered. The sound of galloping hooves still echoed in her ears. "A war horse."

"Definitely a war horse."

The young woman petted her animal. "I fell off a war horse once. I slipped right over the shoulder and onto the ground. Broke a rib."

"You are apparently not as gentle as you would seem."

"A gentle body with a gentle heart is bound to be broken."

"Personal experience?"

"My brother. Though no one knew it at the time."

"Is it a painful memory?" It was a sincere question with a caring expression behind it.

"No. Well, some of it is. Not the entire thing."

"Could you tell me?"

Ava collected her reins and guided her horse over the ground they had covered. "It was long ago. Niklaus and I were playing in the fields above the cliffs, the ones that lead to the docks. Mother had gone down to the fish markets and left us to play. It was a gorgeous day. I have never seen a sky as blue as that and I doubt I ever will. There were a few clouds in the sky and Nik and I would lay on our backs try to find animals in them. He would always find great beasts and tell me how he would slay them while I wove daisy chains with the flowers that surrounded us. I remember him telling me of animals that were found on earth with the humans, strange animals and animals like ours. When we got tired we would sit on the rock that overlooked the sea and try to count how many fish we could see in the water; our record was forty three and my brother swears he once saw a shark in the shallows."

The young woman smiled at the images that came to life in her memory. She could smell the young flowers, their scent like freshly cut grass only sweeter. She could see the salt spray as it lifted up above the cliffs. She could feel the way the wind was warmer than normal, sticky like a rain was forming in the distance.

"That day I made him a crown of yellow flowers and he was running around like the king of the world even though it was getting late and the sun was going down. I was sitting on the rock looking out for dolphins." The young woman smiled at the memory. "When I saw one I called out to him but he did not reply. I don't know how long he had been quiet for but when I turned around Nik was laying there shaking so hard I thought he would break to pieces. I ran to him. I didn't say anything at first but then I started to yell for help. I screamed and screamed for what felt like an eternity; for a long time I thought it was a nightmare but it was not."

Ava remembered the uncomfortable way the grass had pressed into her legs, the way she could feel no blood in her hands or face. The way her chest felt, as if her heart would explode from her chest for the anxiety and devistation that overtook it so quickly.

"I was too scared to leave him, too young to know what to do. He stopped moving after a while and he just seemed to relax. His body just went quiet. Like it was sleeping. I yelled for him to wake up but he didn't. I did a lot of yelling that day. By that time my mother had heard the noise and had come running. She scooped Niklaus up and ran as fast as she could down to the docks where she knew a doctor was just closing up shop for the day. I remember that he had a scar over his lip and he smelled of fishermen and their colds. It was too late by then. It was too late the moment he dropped to the ground."

Loki watched her carefully, quietly. "Did they find out what caused it?"

"The doctor said it happens sometimes. That sometimes people just fell over and died. That something went wrong in their head, part of them just snapped and their body didn't know what to do and became overwhelmed."

"I am sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Ava replied and looked at him with a smile. "I do not regret any of my time with my brother. He knew I loved him. He knew I would always love him. And he loved me and life and everything around him. He might have had a short life but he never missed out on anything it offered him."

"You are not sad?"

"I am very sad. I miss him all the time. He died so quickly, without any warning. My mother has never been able to get over it. Its like she forgot the light he was in our family."

Loki reached out and put his hand over hers as it rested against her saddle. His skin was warm and comforting; his skin seemed to seep into hers.

Ava glanced down at his fingers. They were strong hands with long fingers. "I am sorry. I went on a bit there."

"No." He replied. "I am honoured that you told me."

The young woman felt relieved at his unaffectedness. He was a very authentic individual. Her horse danced beneath her and she drew her hands up and away to steady him from whatever caused the little spook. The skin on her hand went noticeably cool. "Tell me of your brother, tell me about Thor."

Loki laughed shortly as her eyes bored into him. Her face was very candid. "He is my brother and I love him."

Ava smiled. "There is more to that in any sibling relationship. I just told you a very long story; surely I get a secret from you."

"Thor is my brother and my friend. Sometimes I am envious but there is never any doubt that I love him."

There was a silence. Ava peered at him. Of all the words he spoke only one came out as dominant as love. "Envious?"

Loki looked her dead in the eye and she did not waver.

"Was that too forward? I apologise." The young woman straightened on her horse.

"Envy is a powerful emotion. If unchecked it can drive a man to madness." Loki was one who tried too hard and blurred the lines he was trying to draw in the sand. His life was not about becoming a king, it was about becoming an equal. He would never think himself more equal than others and perhaps that creates more harm than good. The prince smiled mischievously. "I am no mad man."

Ava checked her horse as he stamped below her, trying to gallop off as he had before. "You should not be envious of qualities that you do not possess; you cannot own them, only borrow. I know I have only known you for a very short time but you are unlike any other man I have met, a man that is neither better nor worse than his brother - only different."

Loki did not look at her but a small smile reached his eyes. Her voice and tone had said enough. Maybe not enough for him to believe her, but enough to know hers was a true soul, a passionate soul.

"So, different brother" The young woman adjusted herself in her saddle and shortened her reins. She was unfazed and understanding. "Is your horse going to outrun mine again or does it need a nap?"

The prince laughed as the young woman gave her horse the encouragement it needed to leap forward into a gallop. She turned to him as they took off, her hair streaming behind her and a smile etched into her eyes.

It is often forgotten that regular people with regular lives are able to do the most extraordinary things. Even if that thing is coaxing some comfort into a hard working son.

* * *

_I have been asked about Sigyn, Loki's wife in Nordic Mythology. I don't know if she will be in Thor 2 (I have heard possibly not) so I have decided to keep her out of this story as it is based on the movies Thor and The Avengers. Based on my research into the actual Nordic mythology account, Loki did not show a lot of concern for her and she was only loyal to him because, though he tricked her into marriage, she is the goddess of fidelity. _

_If you wanted to you could see Ava as Sigyn; I designed her with many of Sigyn's qualities – honesty, perseverance, and loyalty. However, I must say that to me, Ava is not Sigyn and was introduced into the space left her as a character that could perhaps delve into the true psyche of Loki._

_Again, Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. Please review and let me know what you thought; all constructive criticism welcome_._ Everyone with and without a tumblr can view mine and ask me whatever they want on the page peterpauper(dot)tumblr(dot)com._

_Thank you for reading._  
_P._


	6. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4  
**

* * *

The shortest distance between new friends is a smile and Loki had a very warm smile. His brother did as well but Thor showed his joy like the sun at midday while Loki was a spectrum from dawn until dusk. He used his mouth to speak truth and to lie, to begin a smile that ended somewhere in his hairline or to one that was false and hardly reached his eyes.

Ava had seen the younger prince a fair bit since their ride that day. It became a weekly thing; after the work day had ended they would go to their horses and race across that same field that sat between the cliffs and the city.

The young woman learned that The God of Mischief was indeed a master of magic. He had lifted the liquid from a glass of water and separated it into a thousand sparkling droplets that filled a room. It seemed so easy and she had been awestruck. The light had caught the water and broken into a thousand white rainbows on the walls and floor. Everyone else at that party had gasped and reeled back before beginning to laugh. Loki had watched Ava. Her eyes had followed the movement like a cat would follow an unsteady light before her hand came up and swept through the water, droplets slipping from her finger and to the ground.

"I have seen men train with magic, seen doors open and close with it, watched the sun come up and down. But you do it because you are good at it, not because of a purpose." She paused. "Don't you ever turn my wine into snakes again. Ever."

The man laughed.

Ava had also spent time with Sif and her warriors. She would watch them training after her own classes and sessions with her tutors. Loki was sometimes with them and at other times had vanished completely. Sometimes she was away at a riding lesson, archery, or self defence. And sometimes she was skipping art class. The young woman had been studying the art of movement with one of her tutors and watching the warriors as they fought brought her more understanding than old sketches ever did. When she told her teacher he had said to take charcoal and parchment and capture what she saw so he might teach from her angle.

Ava found out quickly that she could never draw their faces, only their arms, legs, and torsos as they twisted and ducked, dodged and flexed. Sif was elegant with her fighting, not butch like Ava had imagined. She was brutally accurate and as fast as a viper, only much more honest.

Thor was interesting to draw. He wielded his hammer with huge force, his body extending backwards and forwards; his motions huge and driven powerfully. It was like watching a stallion fight – all muscle and hair and force, but still so quick and sharp.

Loki fought like a hybrid of them both; always moving, always thinking, always preparing for something. Sometimes he would seem to be unable to dodge a hit but the weapon would go straight through him and the body would evaporate - his own appearing from somewhere else. Thor would laugh and say it was cheating but you could see a hint of admiration for his brother and his quick trickery.

"Why don't you join us?" The young man said as he sat beside the girl.

"I'm not giving away any of my secrets." She smiled and unconsciously turned her parchment over.

"I know how you fight. You are good with a bow and your father tells me you can wield two knives at once."

Ava tapped her nose knowingly and saw Loki's face become instantly humoured. "What?"

"You just…" He lifted his finger and touched the side of his nose. "With the charcoal."

The young woman's grey eyes went dull for a moment in realisation before lighting up again. A line of black now ran down the side of her nose. She bit her bottom lip in a suffered way. The sound of Thor slamming his hammer into Volstagg echoed through the courtyard briefly.

Ava looked at her hands to pick one to wipe the charcoal off with and found them both covered to some degree in black smudges. She hovered them above her lap as she searched for a bowl of water. A towel. Anything really.

Loki chuckled and lifted his hand up, his thumb pressing to the skin of her face and his eyes locked on the mark on her face. His fingers were cool despite his activity not moments before. A slight dampness caught up the edges of his hair from sweat and perhaps there was a bruise forming somewhere.

Ava met his eyes. They were the green of the sea. He was looking right into her. Everything was slow for a moment. All the young woman's senses were focused on his gaze or on the touch of his skin on hers. There as nothing between them for a split second and it made her forget to breathe.

"Loki! You ready for another round?"

The young man blinked and looked like one who had just been woken with a start. He did not look away from Ava. "Not today, brother." He slowly pulled his gaze away and smiled for Thor. "I have had enough today."

Ava looked at the blonde prince. He was breathing through his mouth, smiling, his hammer hanging from one hand easily despite its obvious weight and power. The young woman felt like she had been struck by lightening.

"Did you get it?" She asked when a servant came up with a towel for Loki.

"I got it." He replied. "Will you show me?"

"What?" Ava frowned.

"The picture that seemed to leave half of itself on your hands."

"Oh." She laughed and then suddenly became serious. "No."

Loki thinned his eyes and cocked his head at her. "And why not?"

"It is for my art tutor. Not for you."

"Is it of me?" His eyebrows raised. "Let me see."

Loki's hands found the parchment and Ava felt it begin to slip quickly from her hands. She grabbed onto the board she had been resting on and it came away from the paper deftly.

The image was of two men in long capes battling each other. They had no faces but the horned helmet on one and the hammer in the hand of the other gave it away. They stood close to each other, stances spread, each arched backwards away from each other. The hammer was coming up in the beginning of a swing and the helmeted man was twisting to deliver some attack from his hands. The corners of the paper were marked with fingerprints and whole image was comprised of varying shades of grey, black and cream.

Ava crinkled her nose.

"This is remarkable." Loki looked up at her. "Thor and I were not fighting in full formal battle attire but you have obviously seen us in it before."

"I just saw you two fighting and…" Loki moved like water while Thor was thunder. When pitted angrily together they were a destructive pair but they moved so well together.

"Can I keep this?" The God of Mischief looked sincere.

Ava raised her hand to scratch her nose and stopped herself just in time. "It's nothing. They don't even have faces."

"It does not matter."

Maybe it didn't, especially if you did not know the mind of the warrior in the moment captured. And the moment on the parchment was one of fiction. Of a great fight two brothers should never have, one neither of them had the catalyst for.

"No." Ava slid the parchment from his hands and rolled it carefully, her smile defiant. Her hair was plaited down her shoulder and secured with a light blue ribbon that she removed easily and tied around the image; wrapping it beyond sight.

There was a long moment of silence. Ava glanced at Thor and then back at Loki. She pursed her lips together.

"Fine. Just don't show Thor. Or anyone. Or even look at it."

The young woman hesitated before handing the paper over. Loki took it back quietly. "You were going to show your tutor."

"My tutor is different. He is bound by a contract."

Loki laughed lowly. "Thank you."

Ava felt his eyes right through hers again, their gaze stopping somewhere inside of her. It seemed to stop her heart then restart it again with the force of Mjolnir. She blinked as Thor called for them to join them as they went back inside for lunch.

The royals had become quite comfortable with Ava and it was nice. It was really nice to have such good people in your life, such different people who were both capable of so much. Thor could become a king that shone more than the most polished gold in the palace, or he could succumb to a desperate action driven by his outrageous sense of honour and devotion. Loki could become a king, he could become anything. He could be the brightest good in Asgard or a shadow lurking in memory. Ava felt very privileged to know them and wondered how she ever thought of them as unreachable visions of valour and glory. They were full of humanity, they hurt and fought and were not simply crowns and feasts and protocol. They were remarkable.

0.0.0  
Now that he was retired, Erik Sujir had a lot of time on his hands. He spent much of it resting, sitting with a goblet of wine and watching the people of Asgard below him, and fussing over his daughter when his wife wasn't.

Hunting was something noble families did and this one was no exception. Many young people were going and some old men from the days of war too. Odin himself would be present at this hunt, the ruler taking the opportunity of peace to spend a day with his sons and friends.

Erik had checked Ava's horse and gear himself. He checked the girth under the saddle, the string on his daughter's bow, the condition of her gloves, and the knowledge Ava had of the 'correct way to fall off a horse'.

"Father." The young woman put a hand on his arm once they were both mounted. "I will be okay. I have fallen off horses before."

The man smiled gently and reached a hand behind his daughter's head, leaning her close enough to plant a kiss on her hairline. "You know your mother worries as much as I do."

"I know." Ava arranged her reins in her hands. "Since Nik died it seems as if she feels like she cant to anything against the fates."

"We can't do anything against the fates."

"It doesn't mean we shouldn't try."

"Erik." A warm voice arrived beside the pair along with the hooves of a great black stallion. "I am glad you came, my friend."

"Someone has to defend the king." The man answered to Odin.

"You have done your duty in that manner. Ride with me." The ruler turned to Ava. "You may join us if you wish, young lady."

"Thank you, your highness."

The ride moved out easily and headed for a spread of land covered in woods and open fields that were ideal for hunting. The smaller party that would push the stag to the main hunt had already put out and was no doubt tracking a beautiful animal and pushing it to death.

"A lovely bow." Loki said as he rode a few feet behind his father, Ava had just drawn up beside him.

"It is." Ava felt the wood against her back. "I shall be careful not to accidentally shoot someone with it."

A horn sounded in the distance and the horses danced around a bit, knowing what was coming. The stag was on its way to them, and as soon as it got their scent would shoot off in another direction.

The horses began to move faster, their hooves like drums on the ground. Thor smacked a young warrior on the back and told him to sit steady and not come off.

The way a group of tightly packed animals move is mayhem. Their riders spread them but the thrill of the hunt kept them closer to each other than normal whilst riding. Horse faces met horse rump after jumps and a small group of young men tumbled off their animals after taking a hedge too fast and too close.

The horn sounded again, this time it was to the right of the pack and they circled off toward the noise.

Out of the corner of her eye Ava saw the stag. It was far in the distance across a huge open space. An arrow caught the animal over the rump before its tail vanished into the thickness of a wood. Its skin unzipped itself from brown to red and dribbled open.

The girl pushed herself up and steadied in her seat. The other woman on the hunt stayed close to Sif, taking comfort in the warrior woman's steady presence.

Ava balanced herself carefully and took her bow from her saddle. She notched an arrow to the string and held it there with one hand, the other on her reins. The young woman searched the wood carefully as her horse shot under the shade of the trees.

The sound of horses crashing echoed between the foliage. A cry alerted the hunt to the stag.

Ava caught sight of it again. It was huge. Its horns stood high above its head and the white speckles in its hide looked like snow on mahogany. For a moment the young woman felt her heart in her throat at the idea that some man would leap from his horse and stick a knife into the neck of the stag. It would suffer a slow, airless death. Blood would fill its lungs and it would lay there beneath victory waiting to be at peace again. That was part of the reason she rarely rode with the main party. The men and their need to touch the blood of their victim unnerved her. The slow death made her feel lonely. Lonely for a soul that would lie at the feet of men and drift out in a pool of sticky red all alone with nothing but the hard ground and screaming lungs to comfort it.

The tree line broke and the young woman let go of her reins and drew her bow fully. She was too the side of the hunt and the stag was ahead of them, its body shooting from side to side as it tried to decide where to go.

Ava saw its black nose, wet and high in the air, heard its tiny little feet dancing a frightful dance on the ground, drawing it nearer and nearer to the woods. She saw its eye when it turned its head. They were a deep brown, rich and flecked with gold. Its beauty took her breath away. This was no warrior fighting to the last like some described those chosen for the hunt. Some who fight and know they will die should be allowed to continue until their last breath. But others, those who will feel considerable, unchosen pain…

The young woman hugged her horse with her lower leg and urged him forward. She veered further away and ahead of the party, angling herself to see the side of the stag's head. Her arms brought her bow to her face. And then that dark and golden eye came into view like a night breaking into dawn. She let the arrow fly.

The last moment of a life is telling. This last moment was almost one of relief. At least for the hunter. At least it was quick. At least one who could not chose, one who fate had frowned upon, could be shown a moment of hard mercy, a moment of caring in its final terrified thoughts.

The force of the arrow spun the animal from its head, its body following and planting hard onto its side. A cloud of dust rose up and the grass flattened. Ava drew her horse back to an easier gait and watched as the hunters separated around the stag and came to a clustered halt.

Ava rode into the group and was slapped hard on the back by some exuberant party members. When the young woman saw the stag laying where it had fallen she felt only sadness. A small pool of blood formed under its head and its eyes were open and unseeing, no longer bright like the dawn but rather silent like a painting in some back hallway. The tear in its hide was wide and gaping; deep like the arrow had sunk in but ripped out halfway to its resting point.

It was dead. Her arrow had missed the eye and planted itself just behind it, no doubt shattering its way into the skull and running a mint through.

Ava felt just as lonely as she thought she would should the stag have been laying there dying slowly. In some things there were obviously choices that you felt justified in, but where the end result leaves you just as empty. Surely the choice made a difference though the heart still felt wrenched. Surely it did.

"Marvellous." The young woman heard her father and felt him squeeze her shoulder. "Your best shot ever."

Ava looked up and met his eye.

"And your first kill."

The girl dropped her eyes hesitantly.

Erik tightened his squeeze before lifting his hand to pet his daughter on the cheek. "Chin up. When a thing is going to die all you can do is make sure it does so honourably. You did that."

Ava smiled, comforted by an old war veteran. If her father could accept that kind of death when he was so silent on all others … it helped her remember why she had taken the shot in the first place.

Someone handed the young woman a skin of water and she took it easily. Soon Ava was surrounded by a group of ladies all gushing to her about how Thor obviously had influenced her to take bigger risks in the political arena. Apparently knowing someone changed every action you did and aligned them with theirs.

Ava watched from the corner of her eye as two servants wrapped the stag in a thick blanket and tied its legs to the back of two horses. It would be in the kitchen before sundown and on the tables of the hunters by supper.

The young woman felt at peace with the fact that the animal had not been killed for nothing. It would warm bellies and fill the air with a wild aroma.

That night it fed more than the hunting party. And it was a good meal.

Ava found herself on sidelines of the feast after a few hours. She lifted a navy dress away from the ground as she went up a short flight of stairs to a terrace that overlooked the lights of the city below. A few people were up there, talking in low voices and admiring the view.

Loki appeared to materialise out of the shadows between the fireplaces and stood beside the young woman. They were silent for a long while. Both aware of each other they found no need to disturb something that was comfortable.

"You felt bad about taking that shot." Loki said in his smooth, expressive voice.

Ava felt a small smile bring up the corner of her mouth. "I did. I hate to know how I would feel had I not taken it though." She ran a hand behind her neck. "My instincts told me to release that arrow. I was not thinking that it would feed many people or that it would bring my father pride. I was just thinking that it had no chance, and that I had a chance to show it some mercy."

Instinct. The God of Mischief considered the use of this word. An instinct to create as little pain in whatever situation arose? An instinct to choose for the choice less? An instinct to save something even though it meant taking its life?

"It was an extraordinary shot. I thought you said you were regular?"

"Extraordinary fluke." Ava glanced at him. There was a very short silence before she laughed. "Sorry. I am emphasising the life of our dinner way more than it should be emphasised."

"No. You showed good judgement. You showed that even a gentle heart can take decisive action."

"How old were you when made your first hunting kill?"

"Seven." Loki glanced down and then out at the city again. "Father was so proud. It was a giant boar, not as big as Thor's first but it kept the wine flowing until the sun went up."

There was a brief silence. This man was envious of his brother, but surely Thor was envious of Loki in return. Ava knew the God of Mischief would not understand this yet as he had not yet fully understood his own abilities, only those he could compare to his brothers.

The young woman took a few steps toward the balcony so she could more clearly see the cloudless night. "My father taught me the stories of some of the stars as I grew up. Stories about Midgard, about Asgard, about every place the Bifrost can touch."

Loki made his way to her side and looked out at the rainbow road to other worlds. Ava turned to see if he was about to say something. He wasn't. His eyes, like the green sea, were watching her face, watching the way a slight breeze disturbed a strand of her hair and wrapped it around her neck. Ava felt his hand brush the hair aside, felt the way his temperature mixed with hers.

The young woman was aware of him drawing her nearer, or of his coming closer; the gap between them was closing until it no longer existed. Her eyes searched his face. Up close one could see the small way the skin around his eyes crinkled and smoothed, the way his hair twisted itself behind his ears. Ava couldn't feel her heart at all. All she was aware of was his mouth lingering over hers, the way his breath caught her lip and trickled through her skin, of the way he smelled faintly of sea salt and pine.

Loki was watching her eyes as they searched his face, as they explored the shape of his cheekbones, of his nose, then settled silently on some point beyond his skin. Her mouth against his was soft and warm and her fingers sliding in at the base of his skull were cool and smooth. He could feel her eyelashes against his cheek as her eyes closed and the way she leaned a few millimetres closer after the first moment.

Ava had been kissed before, but all of those experiences seemed to fade into oblivion and she felt like a girl holding a boy's hand for the first time. And then different entirely. The way he held her, the way he breathed, the way he tasted in her mouth; it was like air no longer mattered, like she would never be cold again.

It could have been hours or seconds that passed, neither could have said which. Ava felt her body crushed against his, his hands on the small of her waist and one of hers crammed between them, the other behind his neck.

She could feel his soft smile lingering just below her ear like he was about to tell her the secrets of the universe. The sound of the party came back in murmurs and mumbles and the lights of the city drifted in like fireflies.

* * *

_Remember to leave a review and to visit me on my tumblr!  
_

_Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. _  
_P._


	7. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5  
**

* * *

The sound of feet down Asgardian corridors was always heard. It was nearly impossible to be quiet in the carnivorous places and so many did not even bother to try. This time voices accompanied the footsteps. Angry voices. Arguing voices.

Ava was on the way to court with her mother, on her way to observe some formalities of their realm as every good young noble woman should.

The voices were undoubtedly Loki and Thors. One boomed and rattled down halls and the other kept pace evenly, deeply. And both were angry.

The two women stopped outside the great doors to the throne room and engaged in pleasantries with other ladies dressed in golden finery. Ava listened carefully to words that were not aimed at each other but obviously took quarrel.

They stopped and Loki spoke firmly, almost pleadingly. "Jotunheim has no way of getting into Asgard. It does not matter what they do in their on their own soil. Heimdall has stood watch for centuries and has not raised any alarm. Do not raise old wounds to our father, Thor. He will know better than you if the giants are planning anything."

"They have been quiet too long, brother. No realm is as quiet as they are."

"They were defeated brutally, Thor. You cannot start tensions simply because you feel like there is a threat with no face or voice. It does not exist."

"But it could, brother."

"The threat of treachery in our own realm is one that does exist, the threat of the sea rising and sweeping the houses on the cliffs away is one that exists, the threat of father thinking you rash and imaginative for war exists."

Thor sighed. "Perhaps you are right, brother."

"Of course I am right." The tone was warm. The feet started again and the brothers became visible from around the corner of corridor. They wore their formal finery but had left their helmets to stand above a dresser somewhere.

Ava took a polite leave from the women and approached the young men. Thor was obviously still agitated.

"If you will pardon me, Ava. I must go speak to Sif." The older brother said as he strode past.

The young woman followed him with her eyes before turning to Loki. "Jotunheim?"

"There are rumours of other ways into Asgard besides the Bifrost. Thor is concerned that our old enemies will try something if they hear this rumour too. He wants to find and destroy the pathways."

"And if something happens to the Bifrost?"

"These paths would still need someone to open and close them. They are locked gates if they exist."

"Do they exist?"

Loki eyed her carefully. "Perhaps. If they did they would need a great magic to open them."

"Like yours?"

Loki smiled briefly. "Observant." He inhaled and looked around. Something was bothering him deeply.

Ava reached out to put a hand on his arm but heard a giggle from the ladies behind her and stopped. No one knew of what had happened the night before after the hunt and she did not know how to bring it up with her parents, if at all.

"Tell me." She said smoothly. "I will listen."

Loki met her eyes easily. "Father will listen to Thor's concerns."

"And to yours."

"And to mine, but not with the same ear. Thor is not ready to be a king but I fear the time is soon coming and no word I speak will stop father from his decision."

"There is nothing wrong with trying."

"Thor is arrogant, brash, and a warrior. He relishes battle. It is almost as if he wishes war for the glory of victory and is blind to all else."

"Then you must speak to your father." Ava disregarded who was watching and placed a hand on Loki's arm. "And I will speak to mine and obtain his opinion. If it is the same as yours I will have him speak to Odin to support your case."

A layer of leather and cotton was between her skin and his but it did not matter at all. It was not his skin she wanted to touch. Things the night before had not been anything but comfortable, confirmed the feeling that she could tell this man any secret and he would not judge her for it. And now he felt just the same as her friend but there was a definite warmth pooling in her fingertips, and her trust for him was growing.

It was not a relationship where friends discovered something more in each other but where friends had something more in each other.

Loki put his hand over hers and smiled evenly. It was their usual riding day and the young man was glad of the consistency. Glad that she had come up to him so easily and that she felt totally unchanged after the night before.

"I could not imagine having not met you and your very regular mind." He said in a lightly teasing tone.

Ava heard her mother call her. She turned away before turning back briefly. She was going to say something but stopped, scowled at him playfully and hurried to catch up to her mother.

"What was that about?" Eira asked in a smooth tone as she and her daughter found a place to stand.

"Nothing. I heard them quarrelling and decided to make sure they were alright. They are my friends."

"But they are still princes."

"And still people."

Eira eyed her daughter carefully. "You are becoming familiar with them."

"I am familiar with them. Father has been retired for a month now and that is plenty of time to establish a good friendship."

Eira was quiet after that. Ava watched the royal family and half expected them to look different now. But they did not. Thor was still broad and bright as sunshine, his mother a quiet and steady presence, a cornerstone to the family. Odin was there gleaming and dominant, steadfast in his leadership and decisive in his action. Loki had just joined them. Ava felt certain she would see him differently now but she did not. He was still a smooth, expressive, varying presence that was dark like the shadows but as light as the stages of the sun at the same time.

After court Ava was stopped by Thor. "I apologise for my behaviour earlier."

"It is okay. I took no offense."

"Where are you going now?"

"I am going for a ride with Loki."

"You must come by for lunch after."

"I shall be sure to." The young woman smiled. "Thank you."

"I am glad you found your way to meet us. It is good to have a friend so gentle."

Ava laughed. "I am not always gentle."

"Yes, and when you are not being gentle you are being understanding and just. Taking that Stag out in such a clean manner said more about you than it did about your ability with a bow."

"You flatter me."

"And I am keeping you. Go for a long ride, Loki has been tense ever since I brought up the other portals."There was a pause. "I know he told you."

Ava smiled. "I think you two should fight more like siblings than as princes. Perhaps it would result in less envy."

"Loki has always been envious and he need not be. I love my brother; I admire him and respect his abilities. He is the only one who does not fully comprehend this."

"Perhaps. We will speak more later."

"Of course." Thor smiled widely. "You are a good friend to Loki. Thank you."

Ava walked back to her room calmly. Thor made her feel calm. For such a boisterous, rash man he was very stable. His brother consumed, Thor enveloped. The young woman thought of this as she changed into her riding gear and made her way down to the stable.

Loki was already there, waiting for his horse to be tacked up and brought to him. Ava was pulling her jacket on when she saw him and smiled. "I must take you somewhere today."

"Oh?" He took a step toward her when she stopped to argue with a button that refused to ease itself into the leather.

"Yes." She looked up when she was finally into her jacket and saw him close. "Are you feeling less frustrated?"

"Thor has been the favourite for many years. Ever since he started showing himself to be more like father than I am he has been favoured."

Ava smiled gently. "You are not Odin, you are Odinson. Do not be envious simply because you are yourself." She knew words would not change how he felt, these wounds of his were deep and long and would take a long time to heal. For a moment Ava was afraid he would do something that hurt him more just so his father would accept him in the same way he accepted Thor.

"You area good friend." Loki said sincerely. "And if last night was any indication, you are that and more."

"If…" Ava hesitated a moment and glanced over his shoulder before bringing her eyes back. "If you would return the feeling then…then I will not only be your friend, but will go forward with you into whatever goes beyond that. I would be more than a friend to you." Ava smiled as she felt a loyalty forming to the young man in a way it had not formed before.

He explored her face with his gaze. "And I to you."

Ava felt his hands at the top of her neck, gently cradling her head. His mouth was warm on her forehead. The feeling was no different to that of the night before, no less intimate.

There is a certain place where friendships stop. A certain level of trust they can reach. A certain level of fidelity. Anything more than that was unlimited, and it was exciting to know that there was no place to stop, only a place to go. And since friendships could be so deep you could hardly see their ending, everything more was worth the butterflies and sweaty palms. Even before you had entered them, even when all you knew was that they were there.

They rode toward the docks, taking the path down to the beaches when they could and climbing back up to the top of the cliffs when the rocks blocked their way. Ava led the prince to a field full of little yellow daises with a rock with a severed face that possessed a wonderful sea view. She smiled and dismounted, her fingers working at the girth of her horse's saddle.

"I like to let him graze here and have a rest." The young woman lifted the saddle off and set it down at the base of the rock. "He should not run off in this field."

Loki stepped down beside her and did the same. "Should not?"

Ava hesitated. "They won't go far. And if they do it will be to the stable."

The man laughed and let his horse join hers at the edge of the tree line. They walked easily through the field and spoke of little things. Things like favourite colours and foods, of pranks that had been pulled and suffered, of what they would be in ten years. Small things that if remembered become big signs of loyalty and affection.

Ava lowered herself to the ground when she found a good place to sit.

Loki joined her. "So this is where you and your brother used to play as children?"

"It is." The young woman. "It is also where my fear of snakes originated."

"Oh?"  
"There are no snakes here but Niklaus told me an awful story about a pit of vipers and flesh rotting from bones because of their venom. And I have been terrified since."

Ava folded her legs beside her as the God of Mischief looked out over the field. "It is quiet here."

"It is always quiet here." Ava said with a smile. "Ever since Nik left and there was no one to make any more noise."

Loki frowned for a moment, confused. "Why do you come here if this is the place he died?"

Ava plucked a daisy out from beside her. "This is the last place he saw. I feel that if I am here then he can see me, he will know I am okay and he won't worry." There was a pause. "I know that he can no longer see or speak but if he could, this would be the place he would do it. So I come."

"He sounds lucky to have had you as a sister."

The young woman smiled. "We were siblings. Siblings are always lucky to have each other. We are born alone and helpless and as soon as we become conscious we know what loneliness feels like. Our first love is our parents, and then it is our siblings."

Loki searched her face. "You are lonely without him?"

"Not as lonely as my mother." She looked deeply at him. "You are lonely." It was an easy statement. "You are so loved but you still feel lonely."

Loki let out a short breath mixed with a shorter laugh. "You are observant."

"I am right?" Her eyebrows lifted slightly in concern.

The young man shifted his seat. His brow cinched together and he sounded vaguely angry. "Thor always had his friends, friends father approved of. He was always good as a warrior, always an ideal of Asgard. Perhaps that is why my father has favoured him all these years; because he is as he was at that age. He is still stubborn and perhaps too proud but no one seems to mind yet."

"You had friends. You trained as a warrior. And you are a master of magic, something Thor is not."

"I have friends yes, but they are Thor's as well." It seemed like he had possessed nothing of his own except his mischief since he was a boy. Perhaps his friends had been mean to him; let him down because he was not his brother. "It has always been Thor or Thor and Loki. Never me alone. That is where it is lonely."

Ava quietly put her hand on his face and turned him to see her. Loki's expression calmed. Her eyes searched his quietly. It felt very comfortable and natural to bring him down to earth, even though her heart broke for the pain he was hiding away. She wanted to take it from him.

The young woman traced a line under his cheekbone with her other hand and into his hairline, watching it as it moved before coming back to his eyes.

"This is the place my brother broke without warning. I could not bear to see it happen to you. Not when you know about that which you could allow to destroy you. It has not been that long since we met but it is like I could go through all the realms and not find anyone else who I could possibly fall in love with. So long as you feel the same I will find you and I will bring you back. I will not allow you to be lonely for long. And if you want me to go, I will go but not until you show me that feeling is truth."

Loki felt her mouth on his, her skin warm and smooth in the sun. He felt her sincerity, her honesty and knew that what she said was what she believed, and also what he believed as well. She knew she could not tame him or make him change his mind on anything, but maybe she could give him a better reason than his own for the way he thought and acted and maybe it would be enough if he ever went to the precipice. And if it wasn't, he felt like she would go after him to bring him back, not just find him but actually give everything else up for a single soul, a soul that belonged to him. It was so simple.

"I would not make you go. Nor would I make you stay if you did not want to." He lingered above her mouth. "And time does not matter."

It could take a lifetime to decide whether you could fall in love with someone or it could take a brief moment. People let it become complicated when everything about love, about relationships is simple. You make a promise to someone and you hold it. You hold it for as long as the other person does, for as long as that other person continues to exist within themselves. And your hands will tear and your arms will get sore and it won't be easy. But that is part of the simplicity.

Loki put a hand on Ava's hip, his voice no more than a whisper. "Do not concern yourself with my envy of Thor, he is my brother and I love him and I am glad for him. It will not destroy me."

She saw that he believed that fully and smiled. He kissed her abundantly and honestly. Ava smiled and kissed him back. It felt so good to be with him. It felt like she would disappear entirely into him and that it would be okay. She wanted to be consumed by him because he would not take her out of herself.

They arrived back in time for lunch and Ava was welcomed warmly to the table. Odin was not present. He was still in court dealing with matters of state and his sons were not required for this when they had other training to attend to.

Frigga always looked beautiful. Thor had inherited the shape of her eyes and her ease of smile.

"It is so good you could join us, Ava." The queen spoke warmly. "The boys have benefitted from having met you. You are not the company of warriors or social circles and it is refreshing."

"I spend a lot of time in the company of both warriors and socialites, as I imagine you would."

Frigga smiled knowingly. "You are right, and it is perhaps why Odin chose me as his wife."

"That and he loved you." Thor added with his mouth partially full.

"And I love him." The queen turned back to Ava. "But tell me how your father is doing in his retirement?"

"He is listless. He is watching me at every vaguely physical class I have."

"You do more than archery?"

"My father had me take self defence and close combat with light weapons. Long knives mostly."

Frigga glanced at Thor who seemed very interested in this.

"Knives?" The blonde queried. "We should pit you against Sif."

"No." Ava said, drawing the 'Oh' out. "I would die."

Thor laughed. "I promise to remind her not to throw any fatal blows."

The young woman smiled. They were such warm people. She wondered how Loki could ever feel alone amongst these people before remembering that even in a crowd one could feel quite helpless. It wasn't about what you had; it was about how you felt and why you felt that. And he felt like his father thought him unworthy...and then, perhaps, that he actually was.

Ava wandered to a courtyard garden after lunch as Frigga went to collect a book of poetry that she thought the young woman would enjoy. The courtyard had three walls and the fourth belonged to the air and a huge view of the world below and beyond. Huge pillars held the story above them up and had vines crawling eagerly up them. The royal family had truly designed their chambers royally.

"Poetry?" Loki came up behind her with a quizzically amused expression.

"I am a lady of the court. Of course poetry." Was the light reply. "I grew up with books of rhymes and ballads and learned to play the harp."

"The harp? You shall have to show me."

Ava laughed and put her arms around his neck. "No I will not. I am very bad at playing the harp."

"Oh?" His hands found the curve of her waist. "Like how you're not all that good with a bow?"

"It was a fluke shot."

"Then you shall have to play the harp and fluke a few good notes."

She scowled at him good naturedly. Loki pushed her hair from her shoulder and let his hand rest in the slope of her neck. Ava ran her nose down the side of his. She was growing very, very fond of the way he kissed her, the way he tasted of oranges and wine when he did. He quite liked the way she would dab rosewater into the dip under her earlobe, how it mixed with the subtle lavender scent in her hair and the muskiness of her skin.

Ava opened her eyes to the sound of footsteps. Always footsteps in the corridors of Asgard. "That will be your mother." Her tone was a bit worried. "Hide."

Loki laughed softly. "Why should I hide from my mother?"

"Because…the same reason you don't tell a girl's father you are kissing her on a balcony." The young woman quickly stepped behind a pillar.

"Why is that?" He leant back to look at her.

She waved her hand at him to stand normally. "Because the parents of the person are usually quite terrifying."

The man raised an eyebrow at her.

"Loki." Frigga's voice entered the courtyard in its elegant way. "Would you mind taking these to your father?"

"Of course." Was the reply. "I was on my way to him now."

Ava stood quite still. She was afraid that the queen would not approve of her and her son. Her own mother had shown her clearly that they are very protective of their sons.

"Ava." Frigga called kindly. "I have that book for you. You can stop hiding there like a little mouse."

The young woman crinkled her nose and stepped out from behind the pillar feeling like a criminal. "Thank you, your highness."

Frigga smiled. "There are a few in there you have probably read but my favourites are circled, something my mother always told me not to do but that I did any way without telling her. She stopped buying me books." There was a pause and a sly, warm grin. "A mother knows everything."

Ava nodded and pursed her lips slightly. "I appreciate it very much. I shall return it as soon as I am done."  
"Keep it. I have memorised all the ones I like as I am sure you will do as well." Frigga turned to her son. "Loki, remember to give those to your father." The indicated the papers on her sons hands.

"I shall." He was smiling mischievously. Ava stood there like a child caught out playing a prank.

"Could I get your opinion on a gown, Ava? You always dress so nicely."

"Of course." The young woman stepped forward.

"I'll give her back, Loki."

The man smiled warmly at his mother. He knew that nothing could be hidden from her for long.

Ava bashfully followed the queen through her rooms.

Frigga glanced at her. "Why were you hiding? What did you think I would do?"

The young woman stopped walking. "I apologise. I just didn't know what you would think and that was scarier than knowing you would disapprove."

The queen laughed lowly. "I do not disapprove at all." She motioned for Ava to keep walking with her. "It is more your mother you should be worried about. She told me that she wanted you to take an interest in Thor."

Ava felt a blush fading from her cheeks. "Thor is a wonderful man."

"But you are falling for Loki." Frigga led the way into a large room with a closet at one end and seats throughout. "It happens very quickly, does it not?"

It was not awkward to speak of such things with the queen as Ava had thought it would be. She was so warm and friendly that it felt like she could be a mother to anyone. "I don't know yet."

"Well when did you realise that you wanted to fall for my youngest?"

"After a training session he had before the hunt."

"And now you are quite set on it, aren't you?" The woman opened the closet and drew out a shimmering cream gown.

Ava nodded. "I guess I am."

"Quick, isn't it?" She smiled and held the dress out. "What do you think?"

"It is beautiful." The young woman replied honestly. "It makes your hair look even lovelier too." She paused. "I am worried that Loki is preoccupied with the shadow of his brother and father."

Frigga's smile became a bit sad. "He has been since he was young and I am afraid he always will be. He is unlike his father and his brother and consequently has always been a bit of a misfit."

Ava watched the way the light bounced off the elegant cut of the gown. "Can I do anything?"

"Only time will tell." The queen's smile became knowing. "Now, tell me what you think of the gown for a woman of my age."

"You can pull it off, your highness. You are beautiful and could never look any less than elegant."

"You don't have to try so hard, Ava."

The young woman smiled. "I don't think your age matters; you would look good in anything."

"Better." Frigga nodded happily. "You can relax with me as you have with Loki. I will not do anything to intentionally make you uncomfortable. If you decide to pursue a relationship with my son then I hope to become like a mother to you."

"I would like that very much."

"And I will help take the edge off when your father discovers that you have been kissing boys on my balcony."

Ava laughed sweetly.

0.0.0

The weeks that passed were very enjoyable and Ava knew she would remember them with happiness for the rest of her life. Her father relaxed well into his retirement and his daughter would often find him sleeping on a chair in the sun with a book on his knee and a smile on his face. He still did not speak of his days at war but he had heard Ava out about Thor and had agreed with her. The young woman felt, for a short while, that perhaps she should not have said anything, that Odin would know what to do. But a daughter should be able to express her concerns to her father.

She went hunting from time to time, never taking a shot at another stag and always being at the back of the pack when one got taken down. Ava and Thor grew to trust each other spoke pleasantly at feasts and parties and during the long hours of the summer days.

Too her knowledge, Frigga was the only one who knew of her relationship with Loki. It was a relationship that blossomed freely and warmly. The God of Mischief was beginning to fall off a precipice and into love with a young lady who felt like she was doing the same. Kissing him always took her breath away and laying beside him in an open courtyard had become a favourite past time. He taught her the names of the stars, names she had not yet been taught by her father.

She enjoyed how his face changed with every slight shift in emotion. The way he could speak openly to her and trust that she would listen to him. The way she could tell him anything she wanted and know he would not judge her.

Ava wanted so badly to fall asleep beside him in the most innocent sense of the phrase. And sometimes she was so relaxed that it felt like she would. She worried that if she did sleep he would disappear. As much as it felt like he would consume her, she was scared he would vanish and she would not be able to find him again. Now that he was in her life and not a scary image of royalty she could not imagine ever forgetting the way the corners of his mouth crinkled when he smiled or the way he used his hands subtly as he spoke.

It felt like a vibrant, passionate summer love but there was something below it, hovering all the time. Something stable and cool and knowing. Something that made Ava wants to never give up on this man even if he gave up on himself.

* * *

_I may be a little AWOL in the coming days. Or not AWOL now that I've told you about it...but I have work and exams and life stuff coming at me like a freight train. So when I'm not working for ages I'll be sure to procrastinate and post. I pinky swear it. And then you should all tell me to study a bit. Especially the numbers. I need to study the numbers because they are not my friend and I need to know their evil plans.  
_

_Anyway. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Remember to review! _

_P._


	8. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6  
**

* * *

It did not take all that long for people to catch onto what was happening between a noble daughter and a prince. Sif was the first, aside from Frigga, to obviously notice what was going on. It was at a large feast at the height of summer. The air was warm and thick and the wine was flowing freely. Ava was seated beside Loki and had been chatting to Thor across the table. When the food arrived she had looked at it, then at the plate next to hers, then back at her own. The young woman continued to listen to the God of Thunder while silently gathering prawns to the side of her plate and quietly transferring them over. Loki had glanced at what she was doing before resuming his part in the conversation.

Sif watched this happen throughout the evening. When he ran out of wine she would offer hers, when she ran out of orange pieces she would playfully sneak one off his plate, exchanging a smile as it happened. It was all unspoken, all made up of some secret language that evolves between couples.

And Sif saw it. She knew Loki. No one would dare to think of sharing with him, or he of sharing, but Ava was lingering in and out of his shadow comfortably and he was letting her; just as he seemed to come to her warmth.

The warrior took aside the daughter after the meal.

"I speak as a friend." Sif said with a comforting expression. "It has been a few weeks since we met and I feel like you are a sincere person and I would like to be sincere back."

"Of course." Ava replied, slightly worried about the other woman's introduction to whatever she wanted to say.

"I observed your behaviour with Loki tonight." Ava's face remained neutral so she continued. "And I want you to be careful."

The young woman cocked her head, perplexed. "Careful of what?"

"You are falling in love with him. And he with you. But he has always been jealous of Thor and the competitiveness of that envy can take him to dark places. Don't go there with him when he does."

"I have no intention of going anywhere dark. But if Loki does, and things go right, then I shall go into the dark to find him and I shall bring him out again."

"And if you get trapped there to?"

Ava glanced around at the colours of the room, hearing the concern in Sif was comforting and troubling at the same time. "You can only come to the light through darkness. I don't think you can ever be eternally lost in it."

The warrior put a hand on Ava's. "You bring out a light in him, Ava. I would hate to see it drown."

The young woman closed her fingers over Sif's. "Then keep an eye on me. You and Thor."

"I shall."

It was good to be honest with new friends; it develops the relationship past fun and games, past little secrets and into the territory of integrity.

Loki met Ava shortly after this exchange and had asked if Sif was okay.

"She is fine." They stood closer than friends, half a breath between them and a warmth keeping them from drifting apart. "She noticed us."

"Oh." Was the curious reply. "And?"

"She thinks I'm good for you." Ava smiled and clasped her hands behind her back.

Loki laughed and put a hand to her face, his fingers wrapping behind her head. He watched her expression; it was sweet and could never lie. And he kissed her, right there in the middle of the feast, right as his brother was approaching to ask them to come join him and the warriors three in a lounge.

"This explains why you have been smiling so much of late, brother." Thor squeezed Loki on the shoulder, his eyes on Ava. "You are very lucky."

The last part of his statement was directed at her. She was lucky. She was lucky to be falling for his brother. Not lucky that a prince would openly show his affection for her, not lucky that she now had intimate ties with the royal family, but lucky because it was Loki. Thor loved his brother, appreciate him, respected him. Ava did not believe he would ever intentionally not treat his younger sibling as an equal, but the case was rather trapped within a the distortion of self perception.

Ava's friends had seen the exchange across the room and quickly hurried over for an update. For a reason why she had not told them, and more urgently why she had not gone after Thor.

"I did not go after anyone." Was the reply. "It happened slowly at first, and then very quickly."

And it had. And now it was going slowly again and Ava could only wonder what the quickness would bring and just how unexpected it would be.

0.0.0

Erik found out when he caught his daughter and Loki standing in front of the door leading to the family suites. She had been dressed in her riding gear and had just come in from a lesson. She and Loki had crossed paths as she went to change and he had walked her home through the sprawling expanse of palace corridors.

She had come off in her lesson. Her horse had tripped in deep sand and dropped down on both front legs. The young woman had stayed on but her reins had become tangled and she had tried to sort them out before the horse righted itself but was a moment to slow. The animal's head had come up and hit her square against the cheekbone, leaving a few small cuts from the blunt force and a small bruise under her eye.

Loki had not even been touching her when Erik saw them. She had her head bent into him, as if listening to a secret, and his fingers had been hovering over the small injury. Ava was smiling.

You do not have to touch to be intimate. The knowledge that his fingers were moments from her skin, that they were lingering back as not to cause her hurt; that was just as beautiful as any kiss.

Erik had done nothing. It had caught him off guard to see his daughter growing up. He knew she had dated boys before, been kissed on the doorstep before, but what he was seeing was no childish romance. It was something different entirely. It was the beginning of what he had seen in his relationship with Eira before they had married, before they had their son, and something he had held tight to after the boy had died.

He told his wife of what he had seen and she had looked up with a surprised expression. She looked, briefly, as she had when Niklaus had left them. It is never easy for a parent to know that their child not only loves them, but has grown enough to experience different forms of the emotion. Eira was terrified of losing Ava and her husband had sat with her and held her and reminded her that while her love for him had grown her love for her parents had not changed at all.

Erik adored his wife. He had seen her grief change her but he had also seen glimpses of her behind it all. When he coaxed it out he was reminded anew why he fell in love with her. Those times, sometimes brief, were the reason he held onto his marriage so tightly. He hoped his daughter would do the same with whomever she chose.

He hoped that, no matter how broken things got that she would have the courage to fix them rather than leave them laying shattered. And she had chosen a man with a known dark side, a man who walked as if a shadow were following him and whose envy of his brother seemed to hover about his mood like a ghost. He had seen how she had been with him, seen how she had connected to this man, and hoped beyond all hope, as all fathers do, that he would be good enough for her.

0.0.0

One warm evening Ava had met Loki on a balcony that afforded a view of the stars. It as a common place for them to rendezvous but that night they lay beside each other while he told her stories about the constellations. Of wolves and men who had served kings and been rewarded with a place in the stars.

"There must have been many, many, many hero's who did something worthwhile." Ava had said flatly.

"Not all did something honourable." Loki kept his eyes on the stars. "There are those who earned their place by doing something terrible."

"Then why are they found up there?"

"Because they believed, with all they were, that what they were doing was right. And perhaps they were and they got their place because they deserved it."

Ava glanced at the man. "Or because they admitted they were wrong and were brave enough to face the music."

There was a long moment of silence. Calm quiet.

"All these stories are from earth. Surely Asgard has some of its own?"

"The people on earth are too weak to imagine a realm like ours." His voice had a hard edge. "They are formless; they have not become strong despite all their time to grow. They remain without magic, without power."

"They are not weak; they are simply as not as strong as the rest of us."

"They do not wish to see real power."

"Perhaps they do not want to. Perhaps they have something better."

Loki turned his head to look at her. "Like what? What is greater than here?" His tone warmed. "Greater than Asgard and my father? Greater than the strength we have?"

"My father told me that humans will always possess their humanity. We have it too but we are consumed so easily by other things that we lose it, and as a consequence, lose our ability to feel as humans do; to allow ourselves to be vulnerable with our friends, family and loved ones. It is interesting to know just how human we actually are."

The God of Mischief took her in. He saw something in her that she was not telling him. "What is it? Why is that you so easily believe what your father told you about these things?" He asked. And she knew what it was that he was speaking of.

Ava searched his eyes. She seemed to hesitate on her own thoughts. "After Niklaus died I…switched off. I stopped being a child the moment he died but there was a grey area where I was nothing much at all. I was so angry at him for being dead. So angry I locked myself away and felt nothing but myself for a long time."

Loki knew exactly what she was speaking of, of the relationship between siblings that was so difficult at times but that you wouldn't change for anything. Something, that when lost, is frustrating and devastating all at once.

Ava's eyebrows wrinkled together slightly. "It got to a point where father was so concerned that he took me to earth to show me their chaos. And then, in the midst of it all he showed me the little things of beauty and before I knew it these things had drowned out all else; showed me how much strength is involved in being vulnerable with someone, and just how beautiful that can be. I couldn't be angry with Nik after that. I could only acknowledge everything good about him and only feel sadness over not having that goodness around anymore."

"He sounds like he was a good brother."

"The best." Ava smiled broadly. "And because of him I will never wait until someone is gone to appreciate them."

Loki was silent for a moment, his face an open book. "Could you be vulnerable with me?"

"I just was." She ran her fingers softly over his hair.

Ava knew he was just as vulnerable with her as she was with him though just not as outspoken about it. The way he let his emotion move through his eyes rather than just through his face spoke wonders, as was the way he allowed himself to speak of his envy of Thor and how he did not hide how this affected him. Life crafts a person and it is only when this craftsmanship is displayed that you can fully understand another.

The young woman smiled and shifted onto her stomach, lifting onto her elbows to look down at his face. She twisted her hair over her shoulder. "You and I are in a good place, right?"

He pushed a stray hair behind her ear. "Of course."

"Where is this place going?" She was not doubting what they had, only being open about where it was headed.

"Where do you want it to go?"

"I asked you."

Loki paused for a moment before being more honest than he ever would be in his life. "I want to fall in love with you."

Ava smiled softly. "And then what?"

"And then stay in love with you."

She felt her heart shift inside her. Felt it move as if it were a clock synchronising to another. To check time against another. To move in time with that other. What was forming was crisp and clear and bright and more true than anything else. She knew what the beginnings of a romance felt like and they were not like this.

Ava felt his hands guide her beside him, felt his body warm beside her own. They lay there in an innocent quiet and simply continued to watch the stars ahead and the clouds that sometimes drifted across the way.

No. This was not some young crush becoming something more. This was the beginning of something else entirely. And Ava looked forward to it with all she was. She wanted to love him so much that she couldn't express it in words, so much that he would consume her but not change her, so much that it went beyond affection and attraction but into the ugliness and grit behind all loves. Ava hoped this would happen and that she would have the courage to let her heart burst with it all.

0.0.0

But beautiful things need to be compared to darkness in order to be truly perceived as beautiful. To challenge their owners to keep them and to ensure they are worthwhile.

Loki was in a dark mood one afternoon after a long behind doors meeting with his father, brother, and the important advisors to the throne. Ava had been in a painting lesson when Thor had found her and told her that his brother had seemed very upset.

"I am worried for him."

Ava wiped her hands on a cloth. "What happened in that meeting?"

"Father announced that I would be ascending the throne soon. He has not been in the Odinsleep for a long time now and I feel that he is weary. Like your father his time to rest has come."

The young woman nodded silently. "He has been a good king for a long time now."

"He has. But Loki urged him to stay on. It was not that he wanted the crown for himself but it seemed as if he would delay the coronation. It would already take a long time to set in motion the events that would see me as the ruler of Asgard but he seems to want it to be longer."

"Perhaps he is concerned for you."

Thor shook his head. "Ava, I cannot speak to him on this matter. You bring a light into him and you make him happy. Please help him."

"I will." The young woman nodded. "I think I know where he is."

"Thank you." Thor put a hand on her shoulder. "You have been a very good addition to this family."

"I am not part of your family, Thor." Was the gentle reply. "Though I would acknowledge you as brother if you would allow it."

"Of course." He grinned before dropping his hand and turning away.

"Where are you going?"

"I am going to fight Volstagg. He has been agitated lately."

He was going to fight his friend rather than for his brother. This was no intentional negative action but Ava, knowing Loki, understood how this could be perceived. It was part of who Thor was; impulsive, passionate, stubborn…it was not anything against anyone. But he did not see how it inhibited his relationship with his brother; just as Loki did not see how some of his traits did the same to Thor.

Ava searched for Loki in all the usual places and found them empty. Before she knew it she was in her field of daisies, her brother's field, and he was there on the rock as the cooler winds began to pick up off the sea.

"Loki." The young woman stood beside the rock where she could see him clearly.

He still had his cape on and it was pooled behind him.

Ava climbed beside the man and sat steadily against his side. "Tell me."

Loki ran his thumbnail over the pads of his fingers. "Father will not listen to reason. He will not listen to me. Thor is not ready, I have said this before."

The young woman put a hand on his elbow and waited for the rest.

"He is too much of a boy for the burden of the throne. Thor cannot be king yet. He will be one day but not yet. It is not right for Asgard…but he is father's favourite. He is the better son." The words were bitter. "And he will ascend whenever he feels like it because it is his duty and his want."

Ava spoke quietly. "Are you afraid of behind left behind in Thor's shadow?"

There was a silence. "Thor is not ready to rule yet. He is brash and arrogant…but father will accept him and guide him and…" and equality would be out of reach.

"Loki, I do not believe that your concern comes only from Thor not being ready. I think you are scared of being left behind. You are treating them with disdain because that is how they treated you."

He glanced at her in a dismissive manner, his face still held in an agitated, upset manner. "I am not scared of Thor and I have no disdain for him."

"I did not say you were scared of him."

"Why did he not come? Am I not worth his time?"

"He believes this is about you being envious of him."

"And what do you believe?"

"That this is about you not wanting to be left behind."

Loki exhaled heavily through his nose and locked his eyes onto hers. They were intense, like an ocean during a storm. "Father always said we were both born to be kings but that only one of us would be." He laughed at the irony. "What did he think would happen to his sons if he told them they were equal but then allowed the one to rise above the other?"

"You must stop seeing Thor as above you. He is not. He is just different."

"Don't twist this, Ava." He said sharply. "You do not understand what it is to be a brother to Thor, what it is to have Odin as a father. What it is to put someone first and have them put you second."

The young woman blinked and took a moment. "And you do not understand what it is see from a different perspective. You are so stuck in this belief that it will destroy you if you do not stop."

"What do you know of these things? Your brother is dead."

The young woman clenched her teeth. "Why would you say that here?" She stared at him incredulously as if looking at someone else. "Why would you even think I was comparing my life to what you are going through?"

Loki's face turned into a brief frown, and then realisation. She saw him come back; saw him in his eyes as he removed himself briefly from a shadow. It scared her that he was in that place. That he had slopped there so easily, as if by free will. That he could be so dark whilst shrouded by darkness.

Ava closed her eyes for a long moment and spoke her next words quietly, as if to herself. "You don't think you deserve to be saved, do you?"

Loki's eyebrows pinched together momentarily before he turned away. He didn't say anything.

"If we are to work out then you must let me come in and find you. There is a man in there that believes he is worthy of everything he has been given, even if it is not as much as what has been handed to his brother. I cannot lose you to envy. And I will not let you lose yourself to it either."

Loki glanced at her and felt her embrace him. She was a steady presence. Soft and gentle but as steadfast as the cliffs of Asgard. After a minute his hand raised and settled on her back and he felt himself becoming calm, felt the storm within him becoming still. It would still linger there but at least there was a place to breathe now.

Ava felt chilled despite the sun. She felt like there were clouds gathering on the horizon and that they brought more than rain."Be the man you want to be, Loki." She said in a whisper. "Regardless of your brother. Regardless of your father. Regardless of your bloodline."

And despite having heard those words, the young man did not feel them sink into a place where they would take hold yet. It was not a place vulnerability could reach.

* * *

_So I took a weekend of work on like a boss; I have to say that 4am starts suck but when its raining they suck even more. As for the study, the numbers still need to be infultrated but I shall procrastibake no more...after I make macaroons. But no more after that. I pinky swear it.  
_

_Haha. Anyway. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Remember to review and visit me on my tumblr! _

_P._


	9. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7  
**

* * *

Friends are people who can break your heart and put it back together again in order that you become a better person. Ava's were other daughters from noble backgrounds. Merchants children, military hero children, the children of important advisors to the king; all of them wealthy, all of them happy in the peace of Asgard and ignorant to the ways of war. They had all grown up in the palace together, all gone to classes together, all learned etiquette, dancing, and table manners from the same sour old woman with crinkly hair.

And yet some were so poor. Some only knew the walls of the palace and the woods of the royal hunting grounds. They did not know the secret beaches huddled against cliffs or the caves that flooded with sunlight and smelled of salt water and seaweed. They did not know Midgard, Alfheim, Nidaveller, or Vanaheim. They had not seen the beautiful places that belonged to the 9 realms and had only seen one page of their entire universe.

Erik had taken his daughter too many places when he went on business. He would discuss peace strategies and maintenance with the realms, some of which Ava was not permitted to visit. He never took her to Joutunheim and he never spoke of it. All she knew was what history books said of the realm, that it had once been a kingdom of ice and had now fallen into a disrepair of shadows and post war depression. Odin had taken their casket and put it in the weapons vault where it could not be touched or even looked at by eyes other than those he permitted inside.

Ava sat with her friends on a balcony lined with summer roses and ate fresh fruit and drank cold milk as the sun reached its peak. The girls varied in size and colour, all of them beautiful.

There was a little redhead with gorgeous freckles that walked over the bridge of her nose, a young girl with hair as dark as night and skin as pale as the snow, her sister similar in appearance but with darker hue to her skin. There was a woman with skin the colour of hazelnuts and eyes as rich as ebony. They were all beautiful, as all Asgardian women are. And they all carried themselves like gods.

They were speaking of parties, of dresses, of events, of men turning into boys and of how they had always considered themselves women; little girls always do.

Ava listened to a young woman speak of the man she was seeing. He was a warrior who stood on honour and valour and lived and breathed the words of Thor. He would die for the God of Thunder in a heartbeat and maybe he would have to one day. A servant came in on silent feet and bent down carefully to whisper into Ava's ear.

The young woman's eyes slid sideways as she listened and gazed into nothing as she took the words in. She turned to the servant and said a low thanks to him.

"Is everything okay, Ava?" One of the girls asked a moment later.

The blonde nodded. "Yes. My mother just wanted to know whether I would be home for dinner or not."

"You have not been home for dinner?"

"I have been out with Loki some nights. His family has had me over a few times now."

The girl nodded and seemed a little disappointed at the revelation. "I was hoping you would tell us about that."

"About sitting at a table with Odin and feeling absolutely terrified that you'll say something wrong?" Ava wiped her hands on a napkin at her side.

There was a chime of laughter. "No. We have all seen you at feasts and how you now sit with the royal family. That is not news. We want to know about Loki."

Another friend looked a little awkward. "You've been spending time with him as…more than friends. I just…why him? He is not as honourable or as valiant as Thor."

The young woman glanced around the table. Everyone was listening and silent now. "It did not pick him at all. We spent time together as family friends, and then as genuine friends, and then it gradually built into something more. Thor and I never developed the foundation for that kind of relationship; it did not happen."

"Why?"

"I don't know." Ava pushed a hair behind her ear. "Thor is very passionate and exciting, he is safe, and maybe that would have worked well but…he is a wonderful friend and that relationship will last longer than any other we could have."

The girl of ebony bit into a piece of fruit. "I for one and rather glad. It leaves the door open for the rest of us."

The friends laughed.

Ava rolled her eyes playfully at them. "Just don't assume the worst of Loki; he is mischievous but he wouldn't hurt anyone."

Ava paused after saying that. No one believes any man to be capable of hurting someone but when they do, when they are put into a fight or a war and they come out with blood on their hands no one is particularly surprised.

"He turned your wine into snakes that one time."

The young woman laughed musically. "Yes he did. But no one was hurt."

"You cried."

"I am terrified of snakes. But he didn't even know my name then."

The girls listened eagerly. All relationships are equal but everyone else's seemed infinitely more interesting than your own. "Have you…you know?"

Ava coughed on her drink. "What?"

The woman laughed. "Have you been to his chambers?"

"That is none of your business."

"Ava, we are your friends."

"And I would have you know that I will visit no chamber until I am so in love with someone that I could not express it in words; until I was certain that the relationship was one I wanted to fight for, one that would be eternal."

"So you're still a virgin then?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Ava met her friend's eye.

"It isn't." Another girl chimed in. "There is nothing wrong with it." She sounded defensive and her sister was smiling quietly at her input, proud in many ways and admiring her innocence in others.

Ava sat up straighter. "I will wait until I find someone I want to fight alongside as well as be intimate with. Someone I can argue with and whose cracks I don't mind. Someone who I would find if they ever got lost and someone I would spend my life in fidelity to."

"Sounds like martyrdom to me." No two people would ever see eye to eye on the topic.

"No, its romantic. It could be so tragic though." The strawberry blonde added. "But my father told me a similar thing and he is still so much in love with my mother that it sometimes makes me sick."

The laugher rose again, its music different but working beautifully together. Friends are supposed to have different ideas and ideals; they are supposed to discuss them. Some are very personal topics but if you cannot speak of them to those who keep your secrets, how can you ever understand them properly for yourself?

0.0.0

Thor, Loki, Sif and her warriors three joined Ava for a ride that afternoon. They raced eagerly along a stretch of sand a few miles from the palace and climbed to the top of the cliffs. Volstagg was speaking in his booming voice about the next hunt and how the last had barely sated his appetite.

Ava kept a pace beside Loki, his mood relaxed after his disagreement about the coronation plans. He was smiling at the bond he had become part of between his brother and his friends. It was not as strong as theirs but he was included and welcomed. His eyes turned to the young woman beside him. Her hair turned near white in the summer sun, her skin a creamy gold. She always looked warm, like if you touched her you would feel the summer air on your skin and taste chilled oranges on your tongue.

She was watching the sea, watching how it was dark blue all the way to the base of the cliff and deep down the sides of the rock. This was where the depth of the ocean and the height of Asgard met; and it was beautiful.

Thor was debating a battle with his friends, arguing strategy and what could have been had they charged in head first and took down whatever came at them. He sought his battles and Loki's concern was warranted if that mindset was truly held throughout the God of Thunder's life.

Ava was half tuned in when the ground began to shift below her. It was amazing how quickly things changed, how deftly they can go from one thing to another; it gave the mind whiplash to think about and the body sometimes followed.

A hare had shot out of the tall grass to the side and run right between the horses. They all startled deftly and pranced about, snorting as their ears flattened back.

Ava held her animal steady and dropped a hand to her gelding's neck. As she did, the mare Sif was on lashed out, kicking in a way mares do when scared. The hoof of the animal caught the other woman's horse in the shoulder, causing him to startle even more.

He reared sharply. Ava tried to grasp at her other rein again but the short delay toppled the animal backwards. She felt her shoulder hit the ground first, her hip soon following. And then there was a split second when her heart leapt into her throat as her eyes took in the dark mass of her animal falling onto her, her leg becoming pinned below it. She knew it would not land on her torso, and that the animal would stand as quickly as possible, but it was still terrifying to see the possibilities fly through her mind. Of being crushed, of her lungs exploding beneath the weight of a horse.

Lucky Ava's limb not suffering more than a few bruises. But the action of the horse coming down and getting back to its feet so quickly had caused a dangerous technicality; the young woman's boot had wedged itself through the stirrup and in her shock she had not been able to pull it out. Besides being crushed there was another terrifying possibility for riders and their falling animals; being dragged.

Ava's horse took off. The young woman felt her ankle, knee, and hip being wrenched sharply with the explosive take off. She felt the rough ground beside the cliff roaring against the leather of her jacket and blessed her father for suggesting the sturdy material.

Ava reached up toward her boot and the small knife she knew was there. The horse ducked its head and snorted as it ran, jolting its body and causing the young woman's body to bounce violently against the ground. Her head smacked into the ground and for a moment the world went black. Ava wanted to throw up. She wanted to go home.

The world swam in her vision and all she felt was a fire through her leg. The noise of other hooves lifted up and the young woman knew that the others would be after her, but also that this would drive her horse forward. Maybe they would herd the animal against something. Slow it. Cut it off.

Ava gritted her teeth and went for her knife again. She grabbed the top of her boot with one hand and reached in with the other, the hooves of her horse smacked into her shoulder and shot her out sideways, flipping her onto her stomach. The young woman felt her head slam into the ground again and this time the blackness was more enduring.

She was scared. So much so that all she could feel was the desperate need to do something. To do anything.

It had only been a few seconds, maybe half a minute, since her horse had taken off. The young woman felt the knife in her hand and did not remember how she got it. It didn't matter. She rolled herself onto her back again and used her free hand to grab her boot again so she could haul herself closer to her foot. She took the knife and cut into the leather just above the stirrup iron and felt it give under the blade. The horse startled even more at the way her weight dropped and pulled the saddle sharply. Ava felt herself lift from the ground and slam back down again. She heard the sound of her knife clattering away. Her eyes followed it as it came to a rest in the dragline she was leaving behind. Ava knew a horse, in most situations, would do its best not to stand on you. She could see her animal trying not to become tangled with her and it was throwing his gait out, his actions were jerky and terrified.

Ava saw a sharp blue light sever the remaining leather. It had to be Loki. He had the fastest horse. The young woman felt her body rolling to a dusty stop and the sound of her horse disappearing ringing above all else. She rolled onto her side and threw up. Definitely a concussion. Blood tickled her face as it dribbled from where her forehead had made impact with the ground and down past the corner of her eye.

The young woman threw up again and this time felt an arm wrap under her torso to support her and a hand pulling her hair back.

Ava looked at out to sea for a moment and began to lift herself up very slowly. She blinked hard and saw Loki with her, Thor and his horse just arriving. Her jacket and gloves had saved her from being shredded but she was struggling to put a few words together.

Ava smiled hazily. "I am so sorry."

Loki saw that she was okay. Nothing a healer could not fix. He pulled her against him. "You didn't do anything wrong. Volstagg came off too. Sif is with him."

"Is he okay?" Her voice was low, her skin hidden behind a layer of dust.

The prince smiled. "He is fine. Just his pride."

"Mine too." Ava was very quiet for a long moment. The aches and pains started to become obvious now. "I love you."

She blinked hard and saw big dots floating brightly in front of her vision, possibly not even realising how unromantic she had just been. Thor's voice and presence were soon behind her. He was asking of she was okay.

Loki watched Ava as she drifted out of consciousness. People often say things they don't mean after life threatening events, but he knew her. He knew how sincere she was and how misplaced that admission was going to be should she give it. It was endearing, all things considered. It probably didn't matter where you said it so long as you meant it. And she had meant it. She had probably meant it to be clean and calm and not covered in dust and bruises, but she meant it.

0.0.0

Ava came to in her own bed, in her own night clothes, in her own room. A healer was just packing up to leave and smiled at the young woman when she sat up. Ava ran her hands through her hair as her mother moved from the door to her bedside.

"You scared me, Ava." She said in her little voice. "How do you feel?"

The young woman touched her head and felt that the skin had been healed shut but that a bruise would probably be sitting there for a little while yet. "A bit sore, but we have good healers."

"We do." Her mother assured her. "But you have to go easy for a little while."

Ava smiled at her concern. "I'm fine, mother. People fall off horses all the time and have worse things happen to them."

"You hit your head pretty hard. Don't rush anything."

"Okay, mother." Was the gentle reply.

"Ah!" A booming voice entered the room. Erik went straight to his daughter and kissed her head. "How are you?"

"Sick of that question already." Was the laughing reply. "I am fine, father. My hip hurts, my head hurts, and I am sure I have a purple bruise on my forehead; but I am okay."

"I am glad to hear it." He petted her hand. "And you do have a purple bruise."

"What is life without a little adventure?" She replied teasingly.

"Safe." Her mother replied flatly.

The young woman dropped her eyes to her bed sheets. "Mother…"

"Shhh." She replied. "I know. You are your father's daughter; you don't like being safe all the time. Just…be careful."

Ava smiled and squeezed her mother's hand. She loved it when the woman came out of her quiet little shell. She loved to see the woman who was a mother and not simply a woman who had a daughter. It was only a tiny glimmer this time, but it filled the young woman with warmth and she felt glad to know that the woman who had loved Niklaus loved her just as much.

A short knocking entered the room. Ava looked up and saw Loki standing there, half leaning in, his eyes expectant and his mouth a short way open as if to say something. "I hope I am not intruding."

"You are not intruding." Erik said in a tone that lacked a little of its warmth. "Come in."

The young woman smiled at her mother as she left quietly, drifting out of the room and toward her own where she would sit on her balcony and feel the sun on her skin. Eira's husband stayed a moment longer with his daughter before petting her hand and standing hesitantly.

He stood over her like a statue, took the young man in and met his daughter's eye. He inhaled to speak but dismissed whatever words he had come up with and left the room in a little bit of a huff.

Loki watched him with a small frown. "Did I…?"

"No." Ava replied. "He's just being a father."

The young man sat on the edge of her bed and stared at her expectantly. "The healers seem to have done a good job."

"Nothing can fix my broken pride. I am so embarrassed." Ava crossed her legs.

"Embarrassed?"

"I fell off, got dragged, and now you're here and I'm in my night clothes. It is not ideal."

Loki laughed. "It is fine." He put his hand behind her head and she flinched. He drew back quickly.

"Sorry." Ava touched the back of her skull. "Guess there's a bruise there too."

Loki brushed his fingers over the bruise on her forehead. "You had a very bumpy ride. I thought you were going to go over the cliff half the time."

"Thank you for bringing me home."

"Do you remember anything?"

"A few things. I don't remember getting on the horse at all." She paused. "…I do remember some things." It hit her harder than she hit her head. "And I'm hoping you don't. You didn't hit your head, did you?"

The man smiled. "No. I remember it all."

Ava's nose crinkled and she covered her face with a hand.

"Did you mean it?" His eyes searched her face.

The young woman felt her fingers peeled away by his. Those eyes. She held them in her own and spoke in a soft voice. "Yes." Pause. "Is that…"

He kissed her. Ava's heart hammered right through her fingertips, right to the end of her. The sudden realisation that she had thrown up hit her like a freight train. That was charming thought indeed. She pulled back.

"I remember…relieving myself of lunch. I don't think you want to do that." She lifted a hand expressively. "This is not at all how I imagined it."

Loki laughed, his eyes squinting slightly as he did. His face calmed and he became truly honest, as true as he could possibly be. "I fell in love with you slowly at first, and than all at once."

Ava smiled.

"But I don't know why…" his face became curious. "Why you would return the sentiment."

The young woman placed her hand over his heart and spread her fingers out. "I once read that 'One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving' and…I believe that." She drew her eyes back up.

Loki put his hand over hers and smiled in a warm way, though behind it all she could still see that he wanted a reason. That he needed to know why.

"I love you because though it sometimes feel like you'll vanish entirely, you don't. Because you never leave yourself. Because of the way your eyes are the colour of the green sea. Because you never give up. Because you love your brother, and though you envy him you will continue to love him. Because you are a man of worth and I believe you are worthy."

He pressed his mouth to her hairline, his warm breath seeping into her scalp and his hand still holding hers to his chest. She looked tired and sore and a little self-conscious but she was still an open book for him.

"I must let you rest." He took her in.

"No." she held his hand. "Stay. Stay and tell me about how you feel about the coronation?"

Loki's expression changed but his smile stayed. "I have a plan."

"You're not going to say more than that, are you?"

"No."

She thinned her eyes at him. "You've thought this plan through?"

"Yes."

"Okay." She smiled. "I trust you."

Loki shook his head at her. "Rest now. You look awful."

"I feel awful. But stay." She watched him. "Please? You don't have to talk about your brother. I just wanted to know you were okay, especially since you've come to see if I am. You don't have to talk at all….But don't stay if you don't want to."

The man smiled quietly. "I want to."

He lay down beside her and searched her face. She was the girl who could never lie. The girl who was good and warm and who could fight with you and still love you after. If there was any person for him in the entire universe she would have to be like Ava. She would have to be Ava. Loki believed that everyone else would stop loving him if he wasn't good enough, but not her. That's what real love is; its believing in the best of the other person and not doubting them for a second; that's why it hurts so much when things go wrong. And they do go wrong. And the more you love the more it hurts. But she was the kind of girl who could do it. He believed she was the one who could do it. That is what 'the one' is; the person who would, even in absolute decay and heartbreak, hold onto everything good, hold onto it until there was nothing left.

Loki let her shift over for him and slid her back into place when he had settled.

"I know I still have concussion and that I may not remember this entire day, but I love you. I don't know when it happened and I don't think anyone is really supposed to know when, just that they do." She tucked her forehead under his chin, smiling all the while.

"You are mine and I am yours." Was his low reply, a reply he felt was true with all his being.

If she could have seen his face she would seen a fleeting moment of sadness. He knew he was going to hurt her, break her heart. He knew that he could make her no promises; he could not promise that he would always tell the truth, he could not promise that he would consider her best interests before doing something, or that he would look after himself and know when to stop when things got bad…but he could love her. And he could try. And there would always be his envy for his brother and his frustration at his father's favouritism and everything else. But he loved her. And she loved him back.

And that was a beautiful, clear, honest thing. It was a good thing. And so long as he had that, there would always be hope for him.

* * *

___ As a horse rider I had to include a fall. Being dragged and being crushed are awful . I have not come off in a little while and felt like I was due for one…so I got Ava to do it instead. That's totally fair, right? ...right?  
I did partially dislocate my fingertip training for my dressage tests. That has to count for something.  
_

_Ranting. Right. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. I hope you dont feel like the story is stagnant at the moment. I want to develop this relationship so that it can be properly developed for the actual plot of Thor and The Avengers. So let me know what you thought._

_Remember to review and visit me on my tumblr! Ask me anything there. Remind me to study. Haha. _

_Keep well.  
_

_P._


	10. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8  
**

* * *

Ava had a sore head for a long week. Standing too fast made her feel ill and being active for too long exhausted her. The bruise on her head went from purple to dark blue to yellow and she walked with a small limp for a day or so before her muscles relaxed again.

Her horse pricked his ears when she went to visit him in the early afternoon. She put her hand on his nose and smelled his sweet breath. Horses always smell both dirty and beautiful at the same time. It is a good dirt. It is an honest, hard earned smell.

"Are you going to sell him?" A voice chimed from behind. "He is a good animal and you will get a good price."

"I wont sell him." Ava said, not looking to Thor but speaking rather to her horse. "He is my good animal."

"You will ride again?"

"Of course." The young woman turned and smiled. "Surely you've fallen off before?"

"I have, yes. But not like that." Thor laughed and crossed his arms. "It was quite spectacular."

"I cant say I remember the show." Was the happy reply.

The prince moved to stand beside her and ran his hand down the horse's cheek. "He loves you."

"Horses are very loyal."

Thor let the animal smell him. "I wanted to come and see if you were recovering well. Loki has told me that you are putting on a bit of a brave face."

"It is more to cover my broken pride than anything else." Ava laughed sweetly. "Are you coming to give him a different perspective?"

The man grinned. "No, I don't do my brother's dirty work."

Ava ran her hand over her horse's face one more time before turning away and heading out of the stable, Thor keeping an even pace by her side. "You know that my mother wanted me to pick you, right?"

The God of Thunder laughed. "Me and you? That would be borderline incest."

The young woman smiled and tucked a hair behind her ear. "That and my friends would have murdered me."

"They don't sound like nice friends." He paused. "What is it about him that you see?"

"He is unfathomable; everything between happy and sad, angry and carefree, laughing and scowling…he could take on entire realms and win them over. But he doesn't."

"Why is that do you think?"

"Because he wants to be good."

Thor's smile faded. "He has never really let others see that good in him. I know it is there."

"When people see good they expect good. He already has to live up to the expectations of your father, of the bar you have set. He just…he just wants to be an equal regardless of whether or not he is good or bad."

"A dangerous knife edge to walk on." The man pondered. "I never mean to make him feel less than worthy and I know father is just pushing us to be the best we can be. I do not wish him to feel as he does."

"I know, Thor." Ava looked up at him, over his broad shoulders and into his eyes. "You are an honourable man and you would love Loki even if he hated you."

"Do you think he would return that feeling?"

"You would know better than I."

There was a stretched silence. "What do you want from your relationship, Ava? What is it that you hope to find in Loki?"

"Why?" The young woman thought about his words carefully. "Are you worried for him or for me?"

"For both." He replied truly.

Ava nodded. "I never wanted a safe love. I wanted passion and adventure, maybe a little bit of danger."

"And did you get it?"

"I got a love than consumes me. I feel warm with him, confident. Like I can be passionate and adventurous, like I can face dangers; I had not been searching for him but I found him and I cant think of having it any other way."

The man seemed pleased with this answer. "You are good for him, I think." Thor smiled mischeviously. "You know I always thought he would fall for a brunette?"

Ava laughed. "Why?"

"I don't know."

"Are you a brunette man?"

"I am." He nodded, his smile wide and free.

Ava lifted the corner of his mouth. "That is why."

"Your hair is nearly white; from afar you could be an old lady."

"It is not white." She smacked him lightly. "The sun makes it lighter in summer."

"Oh, okay. The sun."

"Yes."

Thor smiled teasingly down at her like a big brother would to his sister. He stopped walking and turned to her. "We are very lucky to know you."

"And I am very lucky to know you."

The man squeezed her shoulder. "I must go but we will speak later?"

"We shall. I am actually late to meet Loki." She spoke evenly before pausing shortly and reaching out to stop Thor with a short touch. "Worry about him as your brother. That is all you are required to do."

The God of Thunder nodded and smiled. "I shall. Thank you."

Ava watched the man disappear, his red cape missing. He did not look any smaller without that cape. He did not look any less regal. If anything, he looked like a mirror image of Odin when he was younger. Maybe his choice to put his son on the throne was about helping him relive his legacy.

Ava moved to find Loki after that, dismissing Thor's questions as those of an older brother watching out for his sibling. The young woman walked easily through the lower corridors of Asgard and found Loki waiting patiently in one of them.

"I know I'm late. I'm sorry." Her pace sped up so fast that she had to pop in a little half skip to stop from toppling forward.

The man smiled as he saw her "What kept you?"

"I was visiting the horses. And then your brother visited me and….and I may have become lost back there."

Loki laughed characteristically and led her forward down the corridor. "I want to show you something."

"I know." Ava beamed. "You said so yesterday. I have been pondering it ever since."

"Ah. And what do you think it is?"

"I have no idea. I took you to a field so anything tops that."

His smile became both warm and mischievous. The young woman watched him, her eyes thinning slightly but her smile remaining ever constant. She stayed quiet, knowing he would not answer any questions about it.

Her mind reeled with ideas when she felt a breeze coming through the corridor and tasted salty air on her lips. The walls around them became lit with torches as if they were deep under ground but ahead stood a thick golden door.

"A secret passage?" Ava asked lightly.

"Hardly. If Asgard were ever under siege the women would come here."

"And become trapped underground."

Loki smiled at her and opened the door. The young woman blinked at the light before her eyes came into focus. The sound of water lapping a shore drew her attention out. There before her lay a small sandy beach lining water so clear you could practically see individual grains of sand below it.

The cliffs reared up high above the cove and the golden walls of the palace could just be seen above them. If required it could be a place to escape to sea but when not required it was just…secluded and beautiful.

"Where is this?" Ava asked as she stepped out onto the sand.

"It is, technically an escape route for a siege, but ever since my father showed it to Thor and I as boys it has become more of a private refuge."

The young woman glanced over her shoulder with a playful smile. "Never took you for a beach person."

He grinned and glanced briefly at his feet. "I am not but I know you love the sea. I actually have not been to this place in a long time."

"Come on then." Ava held out her hand and felt his skin cool against hers. She felt as if he had just told her some great secret. If this was a refuge for him, and he had let her in…she appreciated the gesture more than anything else and knew he had brought her there for more than the beach.

He stepped out into the sun easily as she took her shoes off with her remaining hand.

"It might take you a bit longer to get your boots off."

"Why would I take my boots off?" He was half smiling as he said it but also half serious. He was not the kind of man who took his shoes up, rolled up his pants, and went wading into the ocean.

"So you brought me all the way down a secret passage to just stand there?" She still had his hand and was slowly dragging him down the beach. She stopped when her feet touched the water and her dress started to stick to her ankles.

Loki was smiling as he watched her.

She tucked a hair behind her ear. "What?"

"Nothing."

Ava eyed him. "You know Thor gave me a little bit of the protective brother questioning earlier."

"Is that what he was talking to you about?" Loki's eyebrows raised inquisitively. "What did he ask?"

"Not a lot. I guess I initiated most of it but he was listening quite attentively. It was very friendly. He wanted to know what I saw in you."

"And what did you say?" He drew her against his body and looked down at her face.

"I said it was the way you were unfathomable. The way you could become very dark and sinister and let your envy control you, but you don't because there is something good in you."

"And should my envy ever control me? Should it become rage and vengeance?" He did not sound sinister; his smile was light and his eyes expressive.

Ava draped her arms around his neck and spoke lowly as she drew her face near to his. "Then I shall have to go in and find it." She kissed him sweetly and gently before slipping away and wading backward into the water, her arms sliding down his and drawing him with her. "Take your boots off or they get wet."

Loki sighed, humoured, and let her fingers drift off the tips of his. You could see in her face that she knew that his bringing her here was a sign of trust and respect. He was letting her into a secret place that hardly anyone knew of. A secret passage. A way in. A way into the heart of the city and the very belly of the palace. This door, this beach; if an enemy knew of them they would manipulate them. And he had brought her there to say 'I trust you. I love you. I will let you into a place of refuge and share the quiet.' It was Loki being vulnerable.

Ava let the water climb to her knees, her dress swirling in the soft push and pull of the tide. It was a light blue number with straps that meandered over her shoulders and crossed at her back, tying themselves around her waist and securing the garment into place.

A breeze picked up and took the light pieces of hair and dropped them over the young woman's face as she dipped her fingers into the water. It was warm throughout and the sand was clean and smooth underfoot. It was like a secret world beyond all else.

Ava saw that Loki was simply standing there, enjoying the sun on his face and the company nearby. She stepped back onto the beach and put her arms around his waist, her eyes meeting his and his going straight through hers and into her soul.

"Thank you." Her words smiled. "I love you. More today than I did yesterday."

"And I you." He pushed the stray hairs from her face, his fingers moving lightly over the place where her bruise had been. "Are you feeling better after your fall?"

"I am feeling very well right now."

Loki felt her gently leading him to the water again and this time he let the liquid go over his boots; they would not fill nor the wet get into them so long as the top stayed above the waterline. His arm slid around her waist and his hand found hers and lifted it up against his chest, right against his heart, his fingers still caught up with hers. Ava smiled quietly and felt his breath washing over her face. She held his gaze, relaxed and trusting. His hand on the small of her back was steady and strong, consistent in its presence.

The young woman closed her eyes and drew her face closer to his. She did not kiss him but she closed her eyes, the moment just as intimate as any.

They slow danced in the shallow water under the height of the sun as if they were in a dusky room in the middle of the night in some exotic place. Loki could smell that she had washed her hair, that her skin was absorbing the salt in the air, feel that she was gentle against him, warm in his hands. He ran his nose slowly up the side of hers, against her forehead and back down as her fingers found the back of his neck, the base of his skull, the hollow behind his ear.

There was so much intimacy, so much longing, so much vulnerability and love. Ava felt safe and warm, like she could stand in that water, with him, like that for years and need anything else.

His breath swirled around her ear and she twisted her neck to she could be closer to his touch.

"I love you." He said so lowly that she nearly didn't catch it.

Ava smiled softly.

The young woman felt her heart like a thousand butterflies. She felt his mouth against hers, salty and sweet and clean. Ava wanted nothing more in that moment than to be consumed entirely by him, to disappear into him. When she opened her eyes she saw his face like the night sky, calm and resting and full of so many lovely things that you couldn't possibly hope to count them, only to appreciate them for being there.

"I promise you always." She closed her eyes and lingered her face close to his.

"I will hold you to that."

"I wont give up on you."

"You are mine." He tucked her hand against his chest again, his fingers squeezing hers. "And I am yours."

He kissed her and felt her return the gesture. Felt her presence washing over her like waves on a rocky shore. Time passed slowly and not at all. By the time the tide had started to climb Ava's dress the sun was slowly starting to dip down.

Goosebumps raised on her skin as the breeze turned cool with the evening. "I need to head back." She whispered. "Father will worry."

Ava breathed against him. She stood up straighter and noted his absence when they stepped away to walk up to the beach.

The young woman slid her shoes on with a help from his hand to keep her steady. Ava looked out over the beach again. It was beautiful. Breathtaking. Even more so now that it was imprinted with a memory.

They walked slowly back, up many stairs and through a number of passages that were quiet as families retired to their rooms for a meal. They didn't say anything to each other, they just walked quietly, the dampness of her dress leaving a trail behind her as she went.

When they reached the level that his suite was on they stopped. Ava hesitated before hearing his voice.

Loki's smile was sly. "Come dry off a little before going to your parents. They will wonder why your knees are wet."

"We had best avoid your parents if I am ever to get back to mine." Ava added. "Your mother is very good at the art of conversation. And inviting people to dinner."

Loki laughed and let him lead her through the main door of the royal suites and into a square room that was void of a proper far wall, its floor just dropping off into the city below with little more than a few columns holding the ceiling up above them. There were thick rugs on the floor and sofas beside the view. The wall opposite the view held a large bed covered in thick blankets.

"Your room is much bigger than mine." Ava said as she stared at the art on the wall, carvings of battles etched into the stone. There was fire spewing light and warmth across the room by the door Loki had vanished into. He came out with a towel and handed it over.

"You haven't been here before?"

"No." Ava unfolded the towel and let it hang in her hands, her eyes still searching everything. "I can't believe you don't have a safety rail or something."

Loki laughed. "The walls close when night falls."

"What about birds during the day? Or rain?"

"The birds stay away, its too high up. The rain…the walls close." He smiled.

Ava crossed the room to the view and felt her feet tingle as she looked out over all of Asgard. Over the sea, the city, the little houses on the cliffs, the monuments, the places of worship…it just spread out and settled in like eternity.

The summer air was slowly fading away but still blanketed the city like a love story. The Bifrost stood in the distance as a beacon of adventure, of peace, of the world beyond their own.

Loki stood behind her and ran a hand down her arm. She felt his fingers against her palm and quickly caught them with her own before they disappeared. Ava twisted to face him and held his hand against his chest as they had done earlier. Her free fingers ran lines up his neck, slowing at his mouth and tracing its outline before she brought her own against it. This place was his place. Not his refuge. This was a palace to brood and rest and think. It was a place to be alone but rarely lonely.

Loki's free hand found a place just above her hip while his fingers detangled from hers and slid behind her head. Ava felt protected pressed up against him. Like the world didn't matter, and if it did she could take it on. And at the same time she felt like a little girl all over again, blushing at the thought of a boy liking her, let alone loving her.

You can feel love. You can feel it when someone loves you. They cant stop it from seeping through their soul and into yours. Its like threads detaching and joining themselves between two people. Tying them eternally. Even if the bonds were cut their cords would remain. You would never be able to forget one you loved. And this love, wrapped up in a palace, this love had promises and loyalty attached to it in rare and meaningful way. To know someone capable of darkness but staying with them for their potential light - that was more than most would do.

Ava felt Loki trailing kisses down her neck, his breath invading her skin as he did so. She found his hand with hers and lifted it from her hip, replacing it on the tie that held her dress in place. He paused and lifted away, bringing his eyes to search her face.

"You belong to me and I belong to you." She whispered, her fingers tracing the back of his hand and running up his arm to hold steady against his elbow. She kissed him warmly, her nerves tasting bitter for a brief moment in her own mouth.

Her dress came loose, puddling around its damp self. His hands wandered up the bare skin at the small of her back and her breath shuddered for a moment. It felt like fire ran through her veins, like she was going to burn up in him. Standing there, with him, felt like a great secret. A beautiful, quiet whisper. It was beyond all else. A place to be vulnerable. A place to be consumed. A place to be safe. It was as if they could drown in each other and never need air, never die. Just keep sinking and not be afraid knowing that it was not a dark place where they were going, but a place of sincerity and exquisiteness.

She felt like milk against him. Smooth and calm. She felt like the summer sun, so warm and steady. And she was sincere and honest, not lying to him as she lay with him. This was what she wanted. Ava felt as if she could never love anyone as she loved Loki. She knew many people who said they felt that experienced heartbreak, but she was not saying it; it was real, tangible. You could taste it and see it and they could feel it against each other, within each other. It wasn't just passion, but vulnerability, candescence and sanctuary. That light that was in him came out and was warm and giving and sweet.

While the moon was up and the walls dutifully Ava sat up with Loki, wrapped up with him in the centre of the place he slept. She could taste traces of sweat when she kissed him, felt tingles all the way to her toes when he ran his fingertips up her spine, when his hand shifted from the small of her waist. He held her body close to his, his skin blending against hers loyally, honestly, beautifully. He swept her hair away from her shoulder and pressed his mouth against her collarbone. She was quiet against him, restful. She felt as if she could not say she loved him, that those words were not enough anymore.

That it was more than that. That there was so much more than that.

0.0.0

Though the sun had risen and the wall reopened, Ava was still fast asleep. She lay with her head wedged under his chin, both of them facing in the same direction. The young woman used his shoulder as a pillow of sorts and extended her arm out to wrap her fingers with his. His other arm was around her body, cradling her easily against himself.

Ava stirred slightly and curled briefly before opening her eyes. She twisted in her position and took in Loki. He had woken around the same time and welcomed her kiss, her hand against his face. The young woman had been warm like the sun, her breath like oranges and everything about that evening awing and lovely, a gift between two people, a gift of trust and love and of making love; as it was meant to be.

"Good morning." He said in a low voice.

Ava rubbed her eye and smiled. "Good morning." She lengthened her neck to kiss him and felt his arms wrap their way around her body.

There was a loud knock at the door. The young woman opened her eyes suddenly and remembered her father and her mother and the fact that she had not been home since the morning before.

"Brother!" Thor's voice boomed from the other side of the door.

Ava met Loki's eyes and quickly shuffled down and drew the blankets over her head and lay as still as possible. It would not be good for Thor to find her in his brother's bed. Not good in that it would be exceptionally awkward. The prince sat up just as the door opened and ran a hand over his face.

"Still in bed!" Thor laughed. "I do not know you as one to sleep in. Are you unwell?"

"No, I am not unwell, brother." Loki replied. "I will join you for breakfast shortly."

"I am glad to hear it." Thor smiled. He fortunately did not step any further into the room. Ava felt anxious and humoured at the same time.

Until the God of Thunder addressed her. Then she just felt mortified.

"You're invited too breakfast too, Ava." He called with a laugh behind his words. "I shall tell your father that you joined us early to watch me train."

The young woman scrunched her face up and lifted her hand up out of the covers and gave a thumbs up. The God of Thunder laughed brightly, knowing he had just caused her a great deal of discomfort before closing the door.

Loki peeled the covers back and Ava dropped her hand over her face and burst out laughing.

"My father is going to murder you." She smiled. "And I am going to kill Thor."

"I will tell your father that you came here for dinner last night and stayed up late talking with my mother."

"Like he'll believe that."

"You've done that before."

"I haven't done this before." She pressed her hand to his cheek and smiled gently. "And I am very, very happy."

"As am I."

There was a light in her face, shared across to his and vice versa. A peaceful light. A light that said something. Something unfathomable.

* * *

_A pretty intimate chapter. Haha. __I have always found it hard to write anything about making love; its a bit like putting your own soul on display as well as that of your characters._  
Just so you know (since it has been asked), I will not delve into the most intimate part of love making more than I have here. This chapter was not about making love, it was about the beauty and emotion behind it; about the natural flow of a relationship and about the vulnerability and trust involved in that kind of relationship. Loki and Ava will develop from here, throughout the plot of Thor and possibly into the plot of Avengers.  


_Let me know what you thought, what you honestly thought. I really appreciate all reviews and take all constructive criticism seriously. All my readers and reviewers mean a lot to me and your input is important.  
_

_Remember to review and visit me on my tumblr! Ask me anything there. Remind me to study. Haha. _

_Keep well.  
_

_P._


	11. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9  
**

* * *

Darkness is only noticed in contrast to light. It starts slowly, creeping in, unnoticed until suddenly the world looks different and feels different and things are no longer as bright and beautiful as they used to be. Ava thought of this as she watched the shadows chase the sunlight away, her room slipping into darkness. She frowned briefly at a single thought. Since beginning that sudden plummet for the God of Mischief she felt more and more attuned to him, to more than who he was and what he did but rather to who he believed he was, how he saw himself in the light of his hopes and dreams; his soul. Was it like being the sunlight at sunset for Loki? To be the light that the shadows chase away? People thought of him as the darker brother, but if he saw himself as one in the shade then of course he would come across as one not born out of the sun as Thor was. No matter how happy he was that darkness would always be there. And maybe it would overwhelm his love for Thor. He would never love his brother less, but over time he would learn that he could hate him more.

Ava leant on her balcony and let the last light of the day wash over her skin. It had not been more than a day since that fateful evening with Loki and she felt no different. More in love but no different as a person. She thought there would be some sort of transformation, some magical coming of age…but there wasn't and she was okay with that. She did not want him to change her, just as she knew he did not want to alter her in any way.

The young woman closed her eyes quietly and smiled. Ava was happy. Sweetly happy. She felt the overflow that made people want to shout a love from the rooftops, but instead she kept it. Kept it for him.

She felt his hands running down her arms, his body pressed up behind her.

The young woman kept her eyes closed. "How did you do that?"

He breathed quietly against her ear. "Magic."

"Ah." She twisted to face him. "Magic." Ava knew he could slip in and out of places unnoticed, seem to disappear and create illusions of himself. She knew he was masterful in his craft and had fully earned his title 'Prankster'.

The girl wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his neck. His hands climbed up and down her back, steady and firm and as gentle as gossamer all at the same time. He smelled of old wood and fresh mint.

"If my father catches you in here…"

"He wont."

"Wouldn't count too much on your magic with him." Ava arched her neck back and smiled. "He's a father; it is his job to prevent his daughter from ever falling in love."

"He isn't doing a very good job." He replied with a sly smile.

Ava kissed him sweetly. "No, he is doing an absolutely awful job." She pushed one of his hair back off his face and took him in. Always the same face, always a different expression with so many varieties of happiness and sadness and love and anger; she felt as if she could watch that face forever and never, ever work its intricacies out. And those eyes...she was lost and could never get out of them.

"Something is bothering you." Ava spoke fluidly, her words as cool water on him. "Tell me what it is."

Loki glanced away for a moment. "It is nothing."

"It is not, but perhaps you feel as if I will think it is nothing. I wont. I will listen."

He smiled quietly. "I know." Loki pressed his forehead to hers briefly before turning away and taking a step inside.

Ava followed him until he turned abruptly, his face sinister for a fleeting half second before becoming concerned.

"The date for the coronation has been set. Invitations have been sent out." He said flatly.

The young woman put a hand on his arm. "You said you had a plan? " She searched him. "Was this to prevent the coronation or delay it?"

He quieted. "Both."

Ava felt a tinge of worry. "What is it?"

"I just want father to see that Thor is not ready to assume the throne. Not yet. I want him to…"

"To give you a chance." She finished softly for him. "You do not want the throne though."

"I don't. I just want to…want him to have to make a decision between us, not just elevate Thor so easily." Odin would put Thor on a pedestal right in front of Loki's sun, drowning his light and increasing the shadow.

"You are his brother, you are Odin's son. They love you. You are a prince of Asgard, valued and upheld and a god in your own right. And… you are worth many Thor's to me. I would not trade you for a thousand of him. A thousand thousands." She knew the sentiment was not what he was after but she saw that it eased his expression and relaxed his heart. "Do not let your envy cloud your judgement; don't do something you'll regret."

The man kissed her forehead and did not say another word.

0.0.0

The coronation was to be held in the spring. In the freshness that followed winter, the new light and warmth of an untouched season. It would be symbolic, it would be celebratory, and it would give Thor time to grow into his responsibilities.

Ava watched him throughout the remainder of summer. He smiled a lot. Roared in happiness a lot. He carried his hammer like a warlord and his shoulders seemed to grow in anticipation not of new burdens, but of the strength he felt he would need to display as a king.

Frigga said little on the matter, only that she was proud of both her sons. Eira did not hide that she was unhappy. Not because Thor was chosen, but because Ava had not chosen him.

"Mother." Ava had been sitting with her over lunch. "It does not matter who I chose. They would have to choose me back anyway. Thor would not make that choice and I never gave it to him. I know you wanted me to meet him because he is all you saw in Niklaus, but you don't know him like I do."

"Do not speak ill of your king."

"He is not king and I am not speaking ill. If you knew him like I do you would understand that he is not the sort of man I could love."

"And what sort of man is that?"

The young woman clenched her jaw briefly. "He is simply not for me. I have no reason you would be happy with."

Eira let out a low breath. "You know that the women are talking, don't you? They all think you have made a bad choice. Loki is the God of Mischief, the Prankster. He is not wholesome."

"Mother…" Ava flattened her hands on the tablecloth. Her eyes closed as she stilled herself. "Loki is good. He follows his instincts, how he feels."

"And he has always been envious of his brother. Everyone knows that."

"Could you just not be happy for me?"

There was a sad pause. "Ava, I will love you no matter what choice you make in life. But I do not have to like those choices."

"Like the choice I made not to run immediately for you or a doctor when Niklaus collapsed?" The words came out without warning and surprised the young woman. But she went with it. She could not stop. "He would have died anyway and then you would have blamed me for leaving him alone in his last minutes. You have trapped in mourning since that day and you have never come out to be a mother too me. You are my mother and I love you, but I have not seen the woman who raised me since the son she bore left us. Niklaus left us, mother. And you left everyone else."

There was a silence. It might have only been for a few moments but it stretched into eternity.

"Neither of us could have done anything. If I could understand that at that age why couldn't you at yours?"

"You have never born a child." Was the biting remark. "You do not know what it is like to raise a son and care for them."

"You still had me. I have always been here for you, never angry, never jealous that you loved Niklaus so much. But it does hurt, mother. And it hurts that you do not seem to be able to open your eyes to the things I love anymore."

"And you love Loki? You genuinely love him?"

"I do. More and more with each passing day."

"And if he is the dark shadow people suspect he is?"

"He isn't."

"Can you promise that?"

"I promise. If he ever becomes that person it is not for lack of light, but for overwhelming darkness. And he will survive it."

Eira looked at her hands and rose. "We shall see."

Ava sat, alone, at the table and watched the roses on the table drift in the cooling air. Mothers and daughters were supposed to fight, but not like this. She should have told her not to see Loki, or to be eternally happy with him. She should have reminded her that Niklaus' death was not her fault, or blamed her. But Eira didn't say much even when she spoke for a long time.

And the girl loved her. Loved her properly as a daughter should, with all she was and never in halves. It took a lot of energy to love someone like that. To love someone so lost in their own grief. But she would come back. Ava knew she would come back. And when she did she would be sure to yell at her for taking so long and then give her a very, very long hug.

The young woman ran her fingers through her hair before wrapping them around her neck. She sighed. It was so exhausting loving someone. Anyone. The love you get back makes the process easier, refuels you. But with Eira it was like the tank light was always on. She kept going though. Always onwards. It was inspiring in a way, that she had not been devoured completely.

Ava rose and headed to the main entry to the palace. It was a huge walkway, big enough for numerous chariots to ride side by side. At the end was a massive hall crafted of gold where the throne of Asgard sat, perched up on stairs and winged out for a god.

Loki was sitting on the stairs to the side of the throne, his elbows on his knees and his face very far off. His eyes caught her. Not the way her hair was tied, not the colour of her dress or how flattering it was, not anything like that; he saw her. That is what love is, it is seeing beyond the obvious and right through it. Seeing the inside of a person and letting that light make everything more beautiful. He thought she was beautiful anyway but when he saw her, the real her without any of the makeup or accessories or fancy plaits – it was something else. So long as you still see a person as more than their outer shell, you can love them.

"It seems it is my turn to ask what the matter is." The prince stood and without faltering put an arm around her.

Ava sighed and planted her forehead against his shoulder for a long winded moment. "My mother is…its hard to see people mourn so continuously. I may have brought Niklaus up and I think it made things worse. I don't know."

"You had a fight then?"

"I wish. It wasn't really anything. You are lucky you can fight with your parents and brother. That at least has a definition." She sighed. "With my mother…its like she doesn't want to hurt your feelings but will if it makes you a better person and then does neither."

Loki ran a hand over the back of her head and admired her face even as her nose crinkled in frustration. "She loves you."

"She does." Ava smiled gently. "I know it is different between you and your parents. There is a throne and a feeling of inequality but…you are always family. Always wanting what is best for each other no matter how difficult it is or how much it hurts to get that point across. I can do that with my father but…"

"She will come around."

He seemed so sure of it. As sure as she was and it made her smile more genuine. The pair went for their ride together, this time through the meandering trails of the woods. No racing, just calm and gentle. They ended up in his bath looking out over the great expanse that was the city, the air of the coming winter breaking through the open window and raising goose bumps in contrast to the warm water.

"I know why, but I want to hear it from you. Why have you not given up on your mother? And don't say because she is your mother and you have some blood duty to her." Loki flattened his hand against her belly as she shifted her shoulder blades against his chest.

"You can have a blood duty to someone even when you aren't related. If you and Thor weren't related you would still be blood brothers. You and I aren't related and we are bound by something deeper. It has never been because she is my mother but I do love her and I don't feel like there should be reason for that. You should have a reason to hate someone, but to love…no."

"So what is it then?"

Ava thought for a moment, enjoying his closeness and the way they she felt safe with him, even with that taste of danger. "Because I remember her. I know that woman who sang me to sleep and fixed my scrapes and told me to stop climbing trees is still in there. Once you have seen that part of someone you can never lose it again, only if it disappears entirely are they lost."

The young woman twisted her neck to look at him. "That is why I can say that if you are ever lost I will be able to find you. I promise." She frowned briefly. "Just…don't get lost. Its exhausting."

He laughed. "And what if I do something unforgivable?"

"When you are able to truly say 'I love you' you can truly say 'I forgive you'. I believe that. So long as I love you, I will forgive you."

"And what would it take to break your love?"

"It is immortal. All love is."

Ava stayed with him that night. Loki quickly discovered that she was like a cat in bed. No sexually or anything but in the way she rearranged pillows and stretched and constantly made little shifts in her position. She would still and quiet when she slept but when she was coming out of a dream or going into one she would move. Not enough to wake you if you were sleeping but enough to notice.

Loki told her as he held her, asked humouredly if she wanted a more comfortable pillow.

"Was I doing it again?" She smiled in the moonlight. "I don't mean to."

"I don't mind." He ran his fingers down her spine and felt her inhale happily at the sensation.

Ava traced a faint scar that ran down between his ribs, small and thin and etched between his bones. "What is this from?"

Loki glanced down to see what she was indicating and relaxed his head back. "Thor and I got into a few fights when we were younger." He was smiling mischievously at the memories of the battles he had won, those that had honed him into the man he was. "Some more sinister than others but that particular one…we were just playing with swords."

"Oh. Just playing with swords?" She laughed lowly. "And he sliced you open?"

"You should have seen him." The man was still smiling. "I just about froze his feet to the ground and he got sick with a cold for a week."

The smile faded. The memory maybe turning bad. Odin had not been impressed with either of them for being so boisterous and Loki had taken it to heart more than Thor had. It was all the little blows that brought him down below his brother, all the little things. They have the power to make giant palaces or tear them to the ground.

The young woman shifted, sensing his mood "I have a scar under my foot. I slipped while climbing on a rock pool. Blood everywhere. It is the only time I ever fainted."

"You fainted?"

"At blood." She nodded. The girl knew she would have to slip home before her father caught her and her mind briefly went to that place.

"You should tell him." Loki knew that expression.

"He knows."

"He knows that you love me and I you but you are still his little girl and he isn't able to conceive the idea that you love someone so much words cant express it anymore."

"Your father doesn't know."

"My father has sons. It is not so important."

Ava knew this was true. Daughters are an entirely different entity to fathers. They are something they don't know; they are not girls they fell for or sisters they argued with, they are their own breakable beauties and every father wanted theirs in a glass box.

"He will understand."

"How do you know?" Ava looked up at him.

Loki smiled mischievously. "We had a chat."

The young woman's eyes widened. "You had a chat. With my father. About…" She put a hand on her face and tried to see if he was serious. "You are serious. Oh gods your serious."

The man laughed and spread his fingers over the small of her back. "He was a little mad at first but he saw that I love you. He should hear it from you too."

Ava planted her face against his sternum and groaned. "I can't believe you did that."

He paused. "Are you mad?"

"I'm embarrassed." She spoke into his skin.

Loki's laugh rumbled through his chest and he lifted her chin so he could see her face. "I am sorry if I stepped out of place but I had to tell him."

"Why?"

"Because I love you." He stretched down to kiss her. "And this is a good thing."

It was more than a good thing. It was good and pure and well intentioned. It was warm and soft and fresh. It was honest and beautiful and it hadn't just happened, it felt as if it would have come to be even if they had fought it. It had happened because it was meant to happen. Because, for some reason, they needed each other.

"Do you not want me to leave?" Ava shuffled herself again, placing her body beside his and her face directly opposite his own. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Of course."

The girl smiled softly. "How long do you want me to stay?"

He knew she meant more than that evening. More than the morning after. "Always."

"Then I shall stay."

"How long?" He searched her face, wanting to know she was sincere.

"Always."

Loki saw she was sincere and his heart filled and broke at the same time. He did not know what she would have to stand by to keep that promise, if it would destroy her. He did not know if she could hold her footing if he truly gave in to his envy, if he could not hold off that madness.

Ava watched his eyebrows come together and his eyes turn sad. She pulled herself right against him. Her skin moulding into his own skin, her breath mingling with his own breath, her soul entwined with his soul.

She put her eyes on his and watched his soul. "Loki Odinson, I shall stay by your side always. Until the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, until the seas go dry and the mountains blow in the wind like leaves I will be with you."

Ava knew she had just made a promise as great and as full of sanctity as marriage and she meant to keep it. So long as Loki existed she would keep it. The way he kissed her filled her with his promise in return, the promise of dark, exhausting days, the promise of promises broken, the promise of hurt; but most of all the promise that he would love her and do what he thought right.

If you cannot love in the face of heartbreak then you cannot truly love. Ava knew this in her soul. Knew this as he consumed her. Knew this and still made her promise.

* * *

_Heck yes that was a Daenerys Targaryen quote. All rights to George Martin and HBO and all that. I also put a piece of Paulo Coelho in there because his writing is so inspiring and relevant to this story. Dany and Paulo really brought Ava to life for me so I just had to honour them._

_Also Sigyn. Sigyn was the goddess of fidelity and though she was tricked into marrying Loki she stayed with him. Since Ava chose Loki I wanted that devotion to permeate more than simple loyalty. In her story, love binds all things. All love. Even heartbreak._

_ So…if you're reading please be reviewing. Thank you to all who have reviewed so far. I watch the numbers for this story and, because I'm a foreveralone I thought I had done something wrong. Haha. I really do want to know what you thought and I really do appreciate your reviews. I reply to all of the ones that allow me to.  
Let me know if you like it or if you don't and tell me what you want to see. Writers make stories, readers make them come to life._

_Hope you're all well._

_P._


	12. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10  
**

* * *

That winter the wind was particularly bitter. You could get warm if you were in the sun and the air was still but when even the slightest breeze picked up it managed to make its way through even the thickest clothes.

Ava, unfortunately, had a self defence instructor who insisted she wear tights as pants even in the cooler months. She and that woman did not see eye to eye all the time but at least they were training inside that day.

The young woman had been given long wooden sticks that were the same length and weight as the knives her father had given her. Her instructor had something similar and was coming at her like a flurry of violence and anger and frustration.

Ava did not want to hit the woman but she was getting bruises all down her forearm from trying to block her. Eventually she flipped the sticks to face down toward her elbow and her instructor congratulated her in a condescending manner.

"Well done, little butterfly. Now you have it."

Ava swung her arm around, whacking the woman's weapon with enough force to unbalance her for the millisecond it would take for her other arm to come down on the same spot. The young woman brought her leg around in a roundhouse and it got caught in her instructors vice grip.

She was flipped onto her stomach and though she caught herself with her hands her chin still managed to whack into the floor.

Her instructor maintained a hold on her leg. Ava pushed up sharply and flipped over but the woman caught her weight and forced her back.

The young woman gave the floor a long suffering look before pushing up and bringing her other foot into position beside the caught one. She bounced up on her hands, driving back, her knees locked. Her instructors arm was forced up and her free foot found its way into her collarbone, slamming her back and away.

The woman let go and called time. Ava rolled onto her back and panted. She royally hated these classes. She would never use them. She used her archery, she used her speech and dancing and music. But she did not use hand to hand combat. Not with sticks, not with knives, not with tights as pants.

"What?" Her instructor asked in a thick tone. The woman was old with greying hair, Ava liked to call her the dragon lady under her breath.

"I just don't get why I have to do this."

The woman responded easily. "You must because you should be able to defend what you love in every way possible."

The dragon lady wasn't actually that bad. She was just brutally strict. "I am never going into battle though."

"And if a battle comes to you?"

Ava propped herself up. "To Asgard?"

"It is possible. Or if you are elsewhere. You are with Loki Odinson now, yes?"

"Yes."

"He has been in many battles. Perhaps you would wish to be by his side in a few."

The young woman stood up slowly. "We are at peace."

"Thor is a man who would like to be in war. The peace will not hold if he gets boyish and arrogant."

"You teach Thor?" Ava wandered over to her instructor and the cup of water she held aloft.

The dragon lady smiled a pursed smile. "When he was a boy. He is not acrobatic or quick with his fighting; he is strong and accurate."

The young woman took a drink and waited for more.

"And he will be a good king." The woman nodded curtly, obviously not wanting to say something against the God of Thunder in front of his brother's girlfriend.

Ava put her cup down. "I wont tell him what you say, do not worry." She smiled and detached the wooden sticks from the throng on her wrist, slipping it off her hand and feeling much better for it. "The coronation is mere months away and if he is not ready it should be made known."

"It will be made known. These things have a way of showing themselves."

The young woman heisted. "Thor will be a good king if he can accept the total guidance of his father. Perhaps it will be enough."

"He is a good man, we all know this."

"He is a good man and he is a strong man. But he is also my friend and I want know how he will bare the burden of the throne on his own shoulders."

"He will not be alone. He will have Sif and her warriors three, his brother, you, his mother, and his father, and all the advisors in the court."

Ava smiled. "But will he listen to any of them?"

The dragon lady laughed. "The true measure of a man lies in his ability to listen to reason."

The young woman pondered these words and left with them gathered over her head. Her father found her with them, playing them through her mind.

"What is the matter, daughter? Were you hurt in your lesson?"

Ava closed her eyes as he kissed her head. "No, father. I am fine."

He sat beside her on a sofa in their suites. "Is it Loki?"

"No. We are very happy."

"Then what?"

The girl paused a moment before turning to the man. "Will Thor make a good king?"

He frowned. "Did you have…someone else in mind?"

Ava shook her head. "No. Loki isn't even interested in the throne. I just…want everyone to be happy."

"You can never make everyone happy, darling." He said.

The girl looked at her hands. "I am afraid Thor is too eager for battles. Too…stubborn."

Erik was silent for a long time. "Battle is not something to be eager for. Young men should fear it."

"But Thor doesn't."

"No, Thor is eager for fighting and roughhousing and proving that he is strong and worthy. No man alive is eager for battle. No man worth your time."

"Then he is eager to defend his throne no matter the cost."

"It is not his throne yet, Ava." Erik put a hand on his daughter's worried shoulder. "And Odin does not do things lightly. What has brought this on?"

"I am just worried that he is not able to bare the burden of a whole realm."

"It is a realm at peace. He shall be fine."

Ava frowned a little. "So long as it stays that way."

"Stop, daughter." Erik said gently. "You are borrowing trouble from tomorrow."

The young woman shook her head. "I am just trying to anticipate the lives I am now entwined with."

"You knew what you were getting into when you chose Loki." The man scolded softly.

She examined her father's face. He was genuinely not distressed about Thor and the throne. Maybe Loki was just turning his envy and brotherly concern into a confusing mess and maybe she was just trying to understand it and getting too caught up. It was too easy to get too caught up.

Erik saw his daughter's face relax. "Tell me about him."

"About Loki?"

"Yes."

Ava smiled gently. "You are my father; do you really want to hear this?"

"You are my daughter and I hear you coming home mid-morning in the clothes you wore the night before."

The girl blushed. "I love him. Not puppy love or a crush or anything. I genuinely love him for everything; the bad and the good and for the hard times ahead."

Erik smiled. "I want you to be happy, Ava."

"I am very happy."

The man put his huge hand over hers, dwarfing it and making her feel like a child again. "Are you committed to him?"

"I am."

He nodded. "Is he committed to you?"

"He is."

"You know this how?"

Ava paused. "In the way he looks at me. The way he holds me. The way he says he loves me back. The way he has bared his soul to me and I to him."

Erik let out a low breath. "You are his partner then, not his girlfriend or lover."

The young woman smiled quietly. "I am his and he is mine. Was it not the same with mother?"

"It is still the same with her."

"Even though she is lost?"

"I see her, Ava. I know she is in there. Do not lose hope that she will come back."

"Does she come out for you?"

"She does."

This hurt the girl a bit. "Tell her I love her when she does."

Erik's face was sad. "She knows, Ava. She might not show that she knows but she does. And you know she loves you back. Just as she did when you were a child, she is just paralysed and cannot express it the way she should."

Ava nodded. "She is not happy with my relationship with Loki."

"She has not looked at you two the way I have. If a father can be content with his daughter's relationship then the mother should already be arranging the wedding."

"…but not my mother." She bit the bottom of her lip.

Erik shook his head slowly. "Not yet."

The girl inhaled and nodded. "Okay."

"Thor will make a good king, you will make a faithful lover, and all souls return if they have hope."

"What is mother's hope?"

"You."

Ava felt a burden lifted off her shoulders as well as one placed back on. She knew that if Loki was lost she would be his hope. It was a relief and a weight; knowing you are someone's lifeline, that you are their only way back and if you ever gave up on them…they would drown and sink into the abyss.

Ava could not imagine that happening to anyone who she had loved. Once she had known love she could not know how to let that person suffer, not after giving her that love back, even if they broke her heart. That was what an eternal love built its foundation on; never letting go no matter how much it hurt, fixing what was broken, and reminding oneself of the hope they had once felt because memory, even a little spark, is enough to start a fire that will guide a way home.

0.0.0

Winter was slow that year as well as nippy, the sun fought for its long days and the sand on the beaches attempting to be hot underfoot forever. In the mornings ice had taken over and by the afternoon it had melted away. Ava replaced her sandals for boots and her flowing dresses for elegant coats.

Loki had thought the summer suited her, explained the way her hair was so blonde and her touch so warm. But as winter arrived his mind changed. Her hair seemed like a companion to the snow and her skin a safe place from the cold. Her nose would go red if she got caught in a chill wind, as would the corners of her eyes. Ava was no child of summer though she loved it; she was an infant of the winter months and their compliment.

He was surprised to hear his door open in the middle of a crisp night, his figure still awake and the light of candles and fireplaces wafting around the room. Loki had been reading a book on magic, sometimes flicking his fingers in a certain way to imitate certain processes. He stopped when his quiet ended.

"What are you doing?" He asked in a low voice as Ava pulled her hood down to reveal a red nose. She had taken a route open to the air and it had bitten her skin.

"Its midnight." She said as she sat down on the bed beside him. "Do you know what that means?"

He smiled and put a hand on the small of her waist. "That it's the middle of the night?"

Ava smiled and drew an arm out from underneath her coat. She held a box wrapped in gold. "It means its now your birthday." She kissed him deeply and spoke in a whisper. "Happy birthday, Loki."

His face was expressionless for a moment. There would be a huge feast that afternoon, big men full of wine and women singing to his health. There would be gifts as big as islands and as rich as whole realms. Yet here she was with her red nose and a little gold box, smiling sweetly as she always did. It was worth more than all else at that moment.

"Did I wake you up?" She explored his face with her eyes.

"No." He smiled. "No you did not."

The young woman undid the bow at her neck that held her coat in place, her long sleeved day dress getting caught on a button as she took her outer layer off and set it across her lap. "Here." She gave him the little box, no bigger than her own palm, and watch him weight it in his hands.

Loki glanced at her. She was biting her bottom lip and waiting eagerly. "I also got you an Aesir relic for the formal gift giving process. Managed to get an old war collector to part with it after a lengthy speech about appreciating the people you love."

The man smiled at this and turned his attention to the little box. He slid the lid back and peered inside. There was a thick nest of sawdust and embedded in its centre was a piece of pure black rock no bigger than a bottlecap. He looked straight back up at Ava and she smiled.

"I found it when I was a child. Father too me to Alfheimr and let me play with the Ljósálfr children while he went about his business. We were all diving down as deep as we could into rock pools and I saw it sitting there on the bottom as it probably had been for centuries. I thought it was a big pearl at first. The elves let me keep it. Said they liked their stars in their sky, not in their hands."

The rock was no mere rock but one of a few rare pieces that fell to earth when a star died.

"The Ljósálfr told me this one could be made into anything you want but should always give you hope. They said it was a survivor of a very dark time, a light from a place where there was little." Ava paused. "So if you ever get lost and I haven't reached you yet, at least you'll have this to remind you that you will be found."

Ava watched him lift the little ball. She knew what it was like to hold it; it felt as if it should be heavy but then the moment you let it roll into your palm you had this overwhelming urge to grab it least it float away. There was something magic about anything from Alfheimer, it was called a heaven by humans and their people were the fairest in all the realms, and everything they had, everything that touched their world for long enough, walked away light and full of joy. Even the little black ball that was so dark you could practically see the mysteries of the universe within it.

Loki stared at the object for a long time. "I cant take this. You found it, it belongs to you."

Ava shook her head. "I want you to have it. You can make whatever you want with it, size permitting."

The man closed his hand around the rock and smiled. "Thank you."

The young woman pressed her forehead to his. "You are more than welcome."

"Stay here." He ran his nose down the side of hers and set the box and the rock down on his bedside before wrapping his hands around the base of her head.

"As long as you want me to, I will always stay." She smiled as he kissed her.

Ava had seen the potential for darkness in him but knew that he had a light in him. He played pranks because he was light at heart, he was sly and mischievous and though he could lie better than anyone in all nine realms he chose to tell the truth. That little black ball from some explosion centuries ago had been on quite the journey. It had found itself at the bottom of the ocean, travelled through times of war, been pulverised by the endless weight of water, and then finally come to rest in the light shores of a beautiful realm. It was dark and had been in the darkness, and it had been a long journey but it had finally found the light again. The light it was born with deep inside its soul when it had been a star.

0.0.0

The festivities were massive for Loki but the day started quietly. He woke up to Ava draped beside him, her head in the steady place below his collarbone and her arm wrapped down and around his body, the other curled up beneath her and no doubt dead. Her hair dribbled down her back and he casually pushed it away to trace the line of her spine.

The young woman stirred when his fingers reached the base of her skull. She blinked her eyes open and tried to lift herself up on the arm that had been underneath her.

Her face became confused and she used her other hand to push her hair off her face so she could smile at him. Loki chuckled and tightened his grip around her waist as she stretched, yawning into her shoulder as she did so.

"Sleep well?"

"I killed my arm." Ava sat up and held her own wrist.

He came up with her. "You'll survive." The prince replied with a smirk.

The young woman kissed him sweetly. "Always."

Loki looked at the little box on his bedside. "I think I know what to do with that."

"You don't have to do anything with it. That was only a suggestion."

"I want to."

"Okay." She smiled, still hazy from sleep. Her arm was tingling now but was able to move enough to fish his black sleep shirt from its puddle at the end of the bed and find its way into it.

His breath trickled down from her temple as she spoke, warming her against the crispness of the morning, his hand still around her waist.

Though the day had started well Loki's mood was soon shadowed by his brother at breakfast speaking of coronation details. It had started with a big fanfare, the whole family and important members of the court attending along with Ava and her family and a few other private attendees.

Frigga had taken her son aside and embraced him, Thor had smacked him on the back and hugged him so hard Ava felt her own shoulders crack. And Odin did the same but with a warm smile and a quiet word that had made his son smile genuinely.

After half an hour, Thor had turned to his father and brought up who at that evening's party would be at his coronation; the answer to which was 'all of them'. The conversation did not pause or hitch but Ava saw that Loki had overheard and pressed her leg against his, her knee to her ankle distracting him for a moment.

Of course other people were talking of other things as well, but coronation was to be Thor's day and it was an unspoken rule that you do not speak of your own moments while in someone else's.

At the party Ava could see that most of his attention was on Thor and his friends. "Loki, stop it." She came up behind him after leaving her friends to fend for themselves.

"I can't." His tone was bitter. "I can't stop that he is the golden boy even on my day." His ring finger and thumb ran together firmly as he thought.

Ava took his hand and stepped in front of him to block his view of his brother. "All these people, Loki, they are here for you, for you regardless of the crown or throne or your endless habit for mischief." He smiled briefly at that. "You are not Thor so stop comparing yourself to him."

Loki looked down for a quick second. "Father will throw him a bigger party."

"Stop it." Ava firmed her tone up as she saw him retreat backwards in his eyes. "Cant you see all these people who love you? You are imagining a lonely world."

He met her eyes and in them she nearly lost him. She held onto the little light she knew was him and didn't let it go. He came to the surface again.

"Come and dance with me." She smiled encouragingly.

"Later." He replied softly before briefly squeezing her hand and slipping away.

Frigga appeared beside Ava before she had gathered herself. "Every birthday has been like this for him."

"Do Odin and Thor really treat him as he imagines?"

The elegant woman held her hands calmly in front of herself. "Maybe they do. Maybe he is imagining it. Odin has always treated them differently, always told them that they were both born to be kings but always indicated that Thor would be the king of Asgard."

"Is there some other throne? Some metaphor?"

Frigga was quiet for a long moment. "Loki doesn't quite know who he is yet, but we love him just as much as Thor."

"I don't think Thor knows who he is either to be honest." Ava laughed.

The woman smiled. "Perhaps." She turned to the girl. "You are good for Loki, Ava. You are a light for him." She gripped the young woman's hands and stared intently into her face. "Promise me you will never give up on him?"

"Of course." Was the reply, Ava's eyebrows concerned. "Is something the matter?"

"No," Frigga released her hands, her face full of loving worry "but Loki's future has always been uncertain."

"What is uncertain about being a son of Asgard, a son of Odin Allfather? He has duties and might as well be king for all the power he has."

"He is called the prankster for a reason." Frigga laughed before her smile faded. "I am worried that…that one day he will take it too far. That his envy of Thor will accumulate and it will all slip from him."

"A prank cannot go so wrong that it changes the entire life of another person."

"Not yet." Frigga paused. "But Loki is very good at being mischievous."

Ava turned to the queen. "Will he ever feel equal to Thor?"

The woman looked out over the party. "He will always try to, regardless of whether he feels it or not."

0.0.0

Ava found him sitting in a corridor near the party, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands.

"I do not want to be coddled, Ava."

"No, what you need right now is a good smack over the head."

He lifted his face and stared at her.

"Loki, no one is coddling you. These people are all here to celebrate you. Why are you so blind to all love except that which is also given to Thor?"

Loki stared straight ahead.

Ava knelt down beside him so she could see up to his face. "Please." She "Come back to the party. Come cause some mischief and drink some wine and admire your gifts."

He didn't look at her. "Why does everything come back to Thor?" His expression was questioning. "Why does it always come down to his relationship with my father?"

"Because you envy him and that relationship. Because you feel pushed aside and consequently of lesser value to them."

The Prince's eyes met hers. She saw him in there and smiled sadly, her hand on his knee.

"Come back to me, Loki."

He stared back at the wall.

"Don't let your heart break over people who love you."

"They love him more."

"Does it matter? Love is love."

"They favour him more. They do not look down on him like…like he is a naughty child. They do not see how arrogant he is, they only see the golden boy, the God of Thunder."

"Look at me." Ava said softly.

The man did not respond.

"Look at me." She said in a firmer voice. "I know you're in there behind all the sulking and envy. I know because you were with me this morning, last night, that night in the rain…this is not you. This is your jealousy talking and taking on rage like a sinking ship. There are better things to be consumed by."

Loki's expression broke and he blinked.

"I love you, Loki Odinson, and I have promised to always come for you when you are lost or find yourself alone in the dark." She ran her fingers down the side of his face. "But you must promise me one thing. Promise me you will try to come back. That you will fight to break free even if that fight is distant and small in comparison to all the rest."

His eyes met hers. His beautiful eyes. As green as the summer sea and just as deep. Ava lifted onto her knees and pressed her forehead to his.

"Promise me." She felt his hand on her back. "Promise me, Loki."

He drew away to look into her eyes again. So determined. As grey as the stormy sky and searching his own with a crinkled brow. The man swallowed and opened his mouth so his teeth were parted and vaguely visible. "I don't know if I can keep that promise."

Ava closed her eyes, her tone determined. "I know you can. We have had a short infinity together and I know you can. I don't just believe it, I know it. Promise me, Loki."

His eyebrows knit together briefly seeing her so desperate for him, so determined to bring him back. He had always thought that part of it would be so she could have him back, but now the prince saw that she just wanted him home and happy. Ava cared if she lost him in the process but if that was the cost he could see that she was willing to pay it. It was for him. Such a selfless, vulnerable, painful way to love but also the most enduring.

She opened her eyes and caught him in her gaze. "Promise me."

"Okay." Loki was sincere. "I promise." He cupped the side of her face. "I promise I will fight to come back."

Ava saw he was genuine and exhaled quietly. "Pinky swear it."

He smiled when she held up her hand, the smallest finger extended to seal the promise. He wrapped his around hers. "I swear it."

The young woman placed both hands on his knee and pushed herself to her feet. "Now come dance with me, it is your birthday and you haven't danced with me yet."

Loki stood and stopped her with an arm around her waist. He gathered her into him and collected her hand into his own, holding it against his chest. He did not lead her back to the great hall. Ava smiled as they slow danced there to the sounds of people merrymaking and celebrating the birth of a prince. They slow danced as they had that day on the beach in the shallow water. As they had when they were both entirely there, committed and vulnerable and trusting even if it would end up breaking their hearts. All loves feel as if they will last forever but this one…it felt eternal; as if it had no beginning as well as no end.

And perhaps it didn't.

Ava wondered if he would leave as he briefly had that evening on the day of the coronation. She wondered what he would do. What he had planned. Time would tell and she knew that, but something stirred deep within her, warned her to steel herself. Told her to pick up her weapons because soon she would have to defend all she loved.

* * *

_Next chapter: THOR. The movie, not the character. Its taken me a little longer than anticipated to get to this point and I hope thats okay with you.  
So if you're reading please be reviewing. Let me know what you think. I want to know. I want to do better for you and reduce suck levels wherever they exist (DFTBA for all those emerging from Nerdfighteria)._

Keep telling me to study! I have one more week of torture to go (1 week, 3 days) and then I am free! Yay!  
Remember to check out my tumblr. .com

Adios Amegos,  
P.


	13. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11  
**

* * *

That winter was a long one, drawn out with chills and crisp winds. It was not so much fun to ride in though the bitterness of the wind on your face accelerated the thrill of charging down a beach or taking a fence into a great open area.

Ava still rode with Loki at least once a week. It was nice to have a structure and routine to some part of life at least. Most of the young woman's life was surrounded by routine anyway but the days she went riding with him were routines she would happily get out of bed for.

One afternoon, near the very end of winter, the pair were sitting on a little hill together watching the glow of the Bifrost as their horses casually meandered behind them. One great thing about winter is how it makes the arms of the one you love that much warmer, that much better. Ava leant back against Loki and fitted her head under his chin.

"We need to go back." She casually mentioned. "You said you had something to do."

The man glanced back at their horses. "Soon." His one arm left her open to the cold for a moment. "This first."

Loki waved his hand out to the side and a small black box seemed to appear from thin air in his palm. Ava knew this trick, he could hide things, even large things, on his person wand make them appear at will. It never ceased to amaze her how good he was with magic; on many occasions he had tried to teach her a few little things and she had only ever succeeded in creating a little light in the palm of her hand. It was not something she was gifted in, but he was glad she was able to appreciate that he was, and that she tried to learn about it.

The young woman twisted her head and looked up at him, her fingers taking the little box. "What is this?" She opened it easily and saw inside two rings; black as night, so dark you felt as if they had no bottom.

Ava sat up and twisted around to face him, sitting on her knees, his expression eagerly searching her face.

"You told me it could be made into anything." He smiled at her.

"It was for you though." She was a little joyous and a little perplexed, the corners of her eyes wrinkling a little. "Are we marrying each other on this hill?" She eyed him slyly.

The man laughed and put a hand to her face, his expression sincere. She knew this was no wedding or proposal or anything of the sort. This was no defined event with defined borders; it was like her slipping into his room to give him his birthday present. It was an act of mutual generosity.

Ava took the larger ring from the box. "You know the people of Midgard use rings to symbolise an eternity since circles have no beginning or end?" She took his hand from her face. "They give each other rings because they believe their love will be eternal, that it will last for better or for worse."

Loki smiled.

"But you already knew that." She knew he did. She knew he knew that she would uncover the meaning behind something without his having to say anything.

"No matter what happens, Ava I will love you eternally." He pushed a hair behind her ear. "For better or worse."

The young women knew that vow was often broken, but she saw in his eyes that he truly meant it. He truly wanted to return the favour.

"I will stand by you, just as you have promised to stand by me."

She leant in and kissed him deeply, sweetly, her hands working the ring around his finger. He wanted her to hold him to his promise and he to hers. Loki moved the little black circle over the same finger on her hand before they broke apart.

He looked troubled. "I will hurt you, Ava."

She knew he would hurt her but his tone troubled her. "Is everything okay?"

Loki nodded. "Yes." He saw that her nose was turning red in the cold. "We should go back."

"Loki" Ava looked into his eyes. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to be a prince. You will always be a son of Asgard but…" She glanced up for a minute before taking him back into her gaze "we could leave. You and I. We could go away. Ride the Bifrost to wherever you wanted."

He smiled gently "You would do that for me?"

"Of course." She kissed him sweetly. "We could go to Muspelheim, Alfheimr, Vanaheim, Midgard…"

"And what would we do there" He wanted to hear her reply. "What would we do in these worlds?"

She spread her fingers on his chest. "Have great adventures, understand complicated things, see the universe and its little secrets. We could settle down somewhere, a hill with a view of the sea and the mountains in the opposite direction. A house with a library and a grand telescope and a little stable. We could, after some time, have children of our own; we could name our son Niklaus and our daughter for your mother." She played with the hair behind his head. "They would have your eyes, both of them; and maybe their little siblings will too…and you would adore them. They would never have to feel anything but equal, never be anything but equal. We could be happy. Really happy."

Loki's smile was warm and sad. "That sounds wonderful." He lifted up to kiss her and for a long time considered what she said, was tempted by such a beautiful life. A life with her…but this life here…even Ava knew he could not leave it until he knew equality, until he had found a cure to his envy. It was his life-project.

The girl knew in her heart that his rings were no spontaneous act. It was an act of love and of sincerity, and he meant his promise; but the timing felt a little too perfect and she did not know why. The young woman hoped her would not do something that he thought would leave him unlovable. In her heart she felt sadness for him, for the things he would not experience for his mission for equality. The things he would have to sacrifice. Maybe they would get married and have children one day, but it would not be after running away into the Bifrost and into a world of adventure and bliss. It would be after many long years of trials and tribulation, of anguish. It would be after she had felt that pain and known it was worth it despite it all.

It was the middle of the night when Ava felt her concern twist and stir within her. She had been sleeping soundly beside Loki and was awoken sharply to his movements. He had sat up quickly with a gasp, straight from sleeping to waking in an instant. He had not moved or shown any indication of a nightmare before this but his face was white and his breathing shallow.

Ava had nightmares sometimes and he had always held her firmly, his breath seeping into her scalp as he waited for her to drift off again. She had never had such a bad dream that it had shocked her into such a state of waking.

The girl sat up and put a hand on his shoulder and didn't say anything.

"Sorry." His tone was flat and he turned his head briefly to glance at her before looking away again.

"Shh." She felt her heart beating within her. "Is it the coronation?"

He was dead silent for a moment before turning his face to hers, his tone a little hesitant. "I do look forward to the day Thor becomes king. You must not doubt that ever; he is my brother and my friend, and sometimes I am envious but I do love him."

Ava ran her fingers behind his ear and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Sibling rivalry is a bitter thing and while you care for him, and you want him to have a big day, a great day…it is not this day. You love him enough to be concerned about his readiness."

"It is not just that though." His face flashed guilt.

"No." She watched him sadly, seeing a lonely boy hidden somewhere in his heart; a boy hiding in the shadow of an elder child. "It's not just that." She paused, gathering the courage to express her concern to someone she was courageous about. "Just don't do something damaging, Loki. Don't let it run your life. If it starts to, drop it. Drop it and be saved."

"Saved from what?"

"From yourself." She kissed the back of his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you, and know you enough to be able to tell when you are bothered by something, but also when you are taking action."

He looked out at nothing, silent.

"Whatever prank you are planning, make sure it is for the good of your soul and your brothers, not just that of your envy and concern."

Loki's tone was deft. "I just want…" his voice drifted off.

"I know." Ava closed her eyes sadly. "And I want it for you, more than anything. But do it for yourself, not against your brother."

The prince felt the cool metal of her ring against his skin and exhaled steadily. It was never too late to save a soul; that was something Ava believed. But she had never been through the torments of a soul that did not believe as she did. She had chosen a God of Mischief and the ramifications of that could be dire if the prankster's plans did not fall into place properly. One miscalculation and he could lose it all.

But this plan was worth more to him than anything. It would delay the coronation, it would take the spotlight from Thor. It would not put that light on him but it would give the golden boy a day or two in the shadows. It would make Odin realise that it was too soon for Thor to be king and maybe, amidst it all, he would see the continual support of his youngest son. Played right, it would play to him and give him all he ever wanted.

"I…I want all those things you told me about earlier. About naming a son for your brother, about creating a life…but I can't do it. Not now. I understand if you want someone who can give you that…"

"Loki…" Ava pressed the curve of her nose to his jaw. "I don't want anyone else but you. You give me something I never even knew could exist. Being with you is my favourite thing."

He twisted and wrapped his fingers around her ribcage, pressing his mouth against hers. He was just a lonely boy. Ava knew that this loneliness was not one she could fill. She could not love him as if he were her brother and consequently could not give him a sibling's love. She could not be his mother or father and could not give him a parental love. And she did not want to. She just wanted to be there with him.

But its easy to promise to stand through pain when you have not been in excruciating torment.

0.0.0

It was early on the first morning of spring when Frigga went to find Ava. They had become fast friends, the young woman finding more of a mother in the queen that she cared to admit. Her own mother had become a little more distant after their conversation about Thor and Loki. She was not pleased with her daughter's choice and had not opened herself to the opportunity to meet the young man. Erik was very open about it all; he even went with Loki to the great astronomy platform in the palace from where you could see every realm if you knew what to look for.

Frigga found the young woman sitting in her own room reading a book beside her balcony. Ava seemed surprised that the queen of Asgard was in her bedroom, smiling warmly as she always did, and looking elegant and tall and regal.

Ava smiled in happy surprise.

Frigga returned her hello and as she approached the young woman. "The coronation is a few weeks away; I have something for you."

"For me?"

"Of course. You are practically family now and you will be presented at the coronation as such."

"But I am not…"

The queen took Ava by the hand and ran her thumb over the ring on her finger. "Did you know that many centuries ago people got married simply by saying 'I marry you'? They made a commitment to each other and set their minds to it. Often they would then tell the government because they kept the records, but not in every case."

"I…" No one had noticed the rings before. "We are not husband and wife."

Frigga's smile warmed. "I didn't say you were. Ava, you have made a commitment to my son to love him for better or for worse." Her smile faded. "And I fear that those worse times are ahead…you bring out the selfless side in him; please never let it go. I know you will bring him home when he wanders, heal his heart when it breaks, be a balm to his envy…you are his lover and partner in life now, and you are consequently as a daughter to me."

Love drew people together; not just the lovers but everyone around them. They were a black hole that consumed all into this mystery of the future.

"Come, try your gown." Frigga attached herself to Ava without so much as touching her.

"What of my mother?" The girl said without thinking. Her tone turned bitter. "Though I suppose she wont notice."

The queen turned to her. "She loves you, Ava. You must never forget that. Never forget it no matter how far she strays from you."

This hit the young woman square in the chest. She had promised to never forget Loki, to never stop looking for him if he strayed too far into the darkness but she had never stopped to realise she had been looking at a lost loved one for years. She wanted her mother back but she was tired of trying to get her there. It was a burden, yes, and Eira did not mean to hurt Ava. But Loki was capable of much greater things, of great darkness and of great light. How exhausted would she get if he disappeared? How far would she be able to go before it was too much.

Frigga did not say anything about the way Ava's expression read on her face. It was a mix of desperation and sincere love; two things that could tear you apart.

The queen took the girl to a room in the royal suites filled with beautiful garments and fabrics and scents. Ava had been there briefly before when Frigga had wanted to say hello before a feast, but never had she been inside as a guest to the room.

The queen floated across the room and came back with a green dress, green like the sea, with a golden plait woven around its waist. "Do not feel as if you have to wear it, but I though it would suit you marvellously."

Ava reached out to touch the gown. "It is lovely. I…couldn't accept this from you."

"Then as your queen I order you to take it."

The young woman smiled, a touch of shyness still lingering at the offer. "Thank you."

"Try it on."

Ava nodded happily and disappeared into a side room, emerging dressed in the garment. The colour made the grey in her eyes look like the sky above the sea during a storm and her hair take on the colour of a clean beach, its sand a golden white beneath the sun.

The sleeves of the dress were capped in black leather before dropping elegantly down the arm and the neckline as graceful as a summer's day.

"He will love you in that." Frigga smiled.

0.0.0

The day of the coronation arrived faster than anything experienced. It slammed into them like a freight train and Ava had barely taken the hand of her lover before the wave of ceremonies commenced. She had seen him that morning, helped him dress in his armour and made little quips about the horns on his helmet.

He saw her in her gown and knew his mother's hand had been at play. Even so, the idea of running off across the rainbow bridge and into the great Never Never seemed more tantalising than it had before.

He smiled. "You look…you look lovely."

She kissed him sweetly. "And you look like…you're wearing horns, Loki."

His laugh was low and genuine. He was genuinely happy that day. "Thor and I have had this discussion many times. He calls me cow and I tell him how nice his feathers are."

Ava laughed. "Of course you do." She placed a hand warmly on his arm.

Loki glanced at the touch and then at her. "I am fine. I am happy for Thor."

"Whatever you are up to, let it be good for your brother."

"It will be."

The girl still felt anxious but did not know if he even had anything planned other than standing by his brother as a dutiful prince of Asgard and letting his father see that. Perhaps when Thor had taken the throne there would be more time to appreciate Loki and all he did in the service of Asgard; all he did as a son and a brother.

The noise of the people outside was enormous. They were only talking amongst themselves but the whole room and those beyond were packed to the brim with citizens of Asgard dressed in their Sunday best.

"I must find my brother. We should enter around the same time."

"Give him a kiss for me." Ava replied teasingly, not knowing what this day would bring.

Loki smiled and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Ava. No matter how today goes, I love you."

She did not have a chance to ask what he meant about the process of the day before he vanished, his cape filling with air before following him into the more private corridors and regal entries into the throne room.

Sif and her warriors three took up their places at the base of the stairs leading up to where Odin sat and looked out over his people. Ava greeted her happily as her parents said farewell and entered the front lines of the sidelines. Frigga took her place beside her husband and Ava found her way to the base of the stairs, standing out of the way but still away from the crowd as she had been asked to do not only by the queen but by Thor and Loki and their father. She was family to them now, and they to her, regardless of anything else.

It had been a party nearly a year ago when they had met and so much had happened, so many depths had been reached and touched and such bonds formed; bonds that seemed as if they would never break for anyone or anything.

The hum of the citizens was like a hive of bees all gossiping with their fine wings. They would speak of this day for years and years to come. They would speak of Ava, of Loki, of Frigga and Sif. This day was a historical day and even the smallest players would be recorded as influences.

Ava glanced over the heads of the people at the city she loved. The breeze was still cool from the winter. She had so many warm memories of that season; of warm arms and a steady embrace. Of the way he tasted, the way he smelled, the way his body moved, the way his forehead crinkled when he was happy, sad, angry or any region of grey she had so come to love.

She belonged to him, and he to her. That was as simple as it needed to be and just as it should always be. Ava spun the little ring on her finger and waited for Loki to appear. She remembered that terrace the night she wanted to see the stars, the rain that had come down, and how pleasant and comforting he had been even in casual conversation. It was like their souls were built to melt into each other.

Eira had once read her daughter a passage from a Midgardian play. "Beware of passion…it always leads to something ugly". The story had been of love and loss and absolute heartbreak and Ava could not quite remember how it ended. But there had been passion and it did come with an ugly side. Love is not light and it must never be thought of as such.

Loki came out alone, striding his way down the guard lined path, his expression warm. There was something set behind it but Ava could not tell whether it was good or bad. Perhaps he himself did not know. He had been more anxious of this day than his brother could ever be. It could mean an eternal rift or acknowledgement. It would not mean equality but it could be the pathway.

Ava was drawn from this thought the crowd erupted. Thor stood, above them all and across from the throne. He had his hammer lifted and was yelling triumphantly. He kept up his celebratory walk, moving as a man who had just won a great war for his people, his mother trying to scold him with her eyes but failing with her smile. Important moments come to being and move so fast you barely recall them. This day, arriving with speed and occurring in a blur, would be one remembered.

He was exuberant. He was excited. He was driven forward. He was Thor, Odinson, God of Thunder. As soon as he knelt before the throne the whole room fell into dead silence. The voice of the king came forth like a light in a rift.

"Thor Odinson, my heir, my first born. So long entrusted with the mighty hammer, Mjöllnir, forged in the heart of a dying star. It's power has no equal! It's a weapon to destroy or as a tool to build. It is a fit companion for a king. I have defended Asgard, and the lives of the innocent across my realms in the time of the great beginning." Odin was watching his boy as if he were growing into a man before him, as if the moment he rose as king he would indeed be a king in every way. The pride radiated out through the room.

Ava glanced at Loki and saw his mouth was pursed, his eyes glancing at the floor for a few moments as his father spoke. He was uneasy now. His cloak of happiness for his brother slipping aside to reveal all else; but only for a moment. The prince looked at his father and Ava noticed Sif watching him. The judgement in her face was obvious, the fact that she knew he was capable of darkness seemed to feed the process of his decent.

The king continued in a voice as big as the sun. "Do you swear to guard the nine realms?"

Thor's voice was bigger than his fathers but nowhere near as experienced. "I swear."

"And do you swear to preserve the peace?"

His blue eyes were on Odin's, a small smile playing across his face. "I swear."

Odin paused before presenting the next vow. "Do you swear to cast aside your selfish ambition and to pledge yourself only to the good of the realm?"

Thor lifted his hammer for his final confirmation the audience stirred and lifted, their energy pushing him toward the throne. They wanted him regardless of whether or not he was ready. "I swear!"

There was a long pause. A warm silence. The king opened his mouth as a war hero, as a father to his sons, as a king of Asgard. "And on this day, I Odin, Allfather…" his eyes drifted up as if in deep thought "…proclaim you…"

Ava looked at Loki who was still watching his father. Thor was oblivious to it all, smiling and waiting for his moment to come.

The next words out of Odin's mouth were not for celebration. They were dark and they shattered the ceremony to pieces. They took Ava off guard. Whatever Loki had planned would be irrelevant now; the day was spoiled by two words. Out they came as darkness. As a whisper of dispair. As a scar upon Asgard.

"Frost giants."

* * *

_I hope you liked this chapter. Let me know what you thought in a review and I will happy to reply. :)_

_So now we are actually into the plot and things, as those who have seen the movie, are about to grow dark for Loki and desperate for Thor.  
Obviously there is a battle with the Joutins and that will happen in the next chapter. _

_Also, I know the chapters are long and if you want me to shorten them I am sure I can. Let me know. I write them long because its a story, not a set of paragraphs about characters. It should never be so long that it loses its meaning and let me know if that starts to happen, but I would hate for them too be short and boring and not go anywhere. _

___Remember you can ask me anything on my tumblr. Anything. It does not have to be about the story, it can be about life or about me or about you or whatever._

P.  



	14. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12  
**

* * *

With the coronation so close to its climax the crowd had already been ready to cheer but the silence that spread over the room was like a pent up plague waiting to explode over the whole realm.

Frost giants. They had all heard it. They had all seen Thor's expression change into a concerned, vaguely furious frown. No one looked at anyone else, all eyes were blind and all ears were waiting for what was to come next.

Ava looked over at her father whose expression had locked on. He showed nothing as if he felt nothing. As she watched him she saw something she did not expect to see; fear. The skin around his eyes had become a little paler even though they were locked into a serious scowl; his jaw was clenched as were his hands at his side. And he was afraid.

The young woman wanted to embrace him. All those years of pain and torment and bloodshed; watching friends die, having to leave friends to die…and then those two words that brought all those memories back. Frost giants. Ava could not imagine her father hating any race, but it was obvious that he was afraid of the things that the Joutins had done to him, to who he had been. The power of a soul can bring fear, but it is the skin of that soul that triggers the emotion.

Without so much as blinking Odin lifted the great staff of kings and rammed it against the ground, the sound echoing deep below them and an air of danger and victory mingled above the crowd.

The king stood for a moment and his expression hardened and in her heart Ava knew the intruders were dead. They had a secret weapon, a Destroyer that did the job it was named for. But the anxiety of the people was growing.

The young woman looked at Loki and his eyes caught her for a brief moment. He seemed conflicted, obviously he had wanted to postpone this day but the darkness of what had just happened was creeping in fast. Frost Giants had gotten into Asgard. Where was Heimdall? Where was the gatekeeper who protected their realm?

The people moved like water when Odin stepped down from his throne. They stirred and moved, staying where they were as the princes and their father swiftly took the path meant for the new king, the guards flaking them with their weapons drawn and all as silent as a building storm.

As soon as they vanished the wave of people broke. Their voices lifted high. Frigga stood where her husband had been a moment before and lifted her hands. The wave thundered and crashed and came to a sudden halt.

"Thank you for coming today." The queen's voice was high and elegant, demanding attention and control. "Go to your homes. Go to the feasts. Odin Allfather will remain your king for the time being but do not forget what you all came here for today. You came to see Thor ascend the throne. You came to celebrate your new king. And you will when the time is right again."

There was a stretched silence. When the wave drew up again it was smoother, the feet were calmer, and the direction decided. Ava looked at the queen with admiration before joining Sif at the bottom step.

"What do we do?"

The beautiful warrior looked at her. "We wait. And then we go to Thor and be his friends. This will be a blow to him indeed." She gritted her teeth. "I cant believe it. Frost Giants in Asgard. The enemy right in our city. How did this happen?"

"I don't know." Ava replied. She felt a little conflict inside of her. The enemy was not the Frost Giants. The enemy was never the opposing force; it was always their intentions. But people want a visual. People want to get their hands into something and destroy it and everything like it for threatening their homes.

It was as poisonous as envy but it grew into vengeance, revenge and retribution all blended into one and if uncontrolled these three could grow enough to start a war.

And they would. They would start a war between brothers, between families, and between realms. All because of one moment. One little breath of air that blew the house down.

0.0.0

Ava followed Sif and her warriors three to the private banquet room reserved for after coronation. The young woman slowed when she entered; food and wine and golden cutlery had been spewed over the floor, the heavy table thrown to its side with no regard for the feast on it. It would have taken a lot of strength and a lot of rage to shift such an object.

Loki was seated beside Thor, his cape and helmet gone. Thor was in a dark mood but it lightened when he saw his friends. Volstagg and Fandral had a few angry words about the food and as they did Ava stepped closer to the brothers and caught the final end of their discussion.

Loki was speaking privately. "I think you're right. About the Frost Giants, about Laufey, about everything...but there is nothing you can do without angering father."

Thor looked his brother in the eye and an expression Ava had never seen before crossed his face as he stood.

His brother's face suddenly changed. He knew he had just lost control over Thor and that there was little he could do about it. He tried anyway. "Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know that look."

"It is the only way to ensure the safety of our boarders." The blonde swung around to Loki who had stood to face him.

"Its madness."

Volstagg looked up from where he was gathering food."Madness? What sort of madness?"

"We're going to Jotunheim." The light in Thor's face was terrifying in context.

Ava watched Loki sit back down and stepped quietly nearer to him.

Fandral's voice entered the conversation with confusion and discomfort. "What? This isn't like a journey to earth where you summon a little thunder and lightening and the mortals worship you like a god." His voice lowered as if mentioning the unmentionable. "This is Jotunheim."

"My father fought his way to Jotunheim, defeated their armies and took their casket." Was the defence.

Ava watched Loki put his head into his hands for a minute at the suggestions Thor was making and for the first real time she knew that the god of thunder was not ready to be a king, not if this is what he did at the slightest sign of trouble. What about sealing the hole in defences? Calming the people? Loki may have been driven by envy, but he really had been thinking about his brother and father's best interests as well.

"Thor." Ava woman spoke up, her eyes drifting from Loki who had been watching how she would react. "A battle is very different to a solution."

"We will just be looking for answers." He seemed to beam at the ideas forming in his head.

Sif spoke up firmly. "It is forbidden."

Thor laughed and approached the group. "My friends! Have you forgotten all we have done together? Fandral, Hogan – who led you into the most glorious battles?"

Hogan, who was under the eager scrutiny of Thor replied warmly "you did."

"And Volstagg" the man continued "Who introduced you to delicacies so succulent you thought you'd died and gone to Valhalla?"

The large red-head seemed to blush happily "You did."

The blonde turned to his most difficult opponent, the passion and love in his voice growing. "And who proved all wrong who scoffed at the idea that a young lady could be one of the fiercest warriors this realm has ever known?"

The beautiful fighter looked Thor up and down. "I did." A smile played at her lips.

"True." The man laughed. "But I supported you, Sif."

Ava met Loki's eyes. He was concerned. Thor would have been a good king only because he was good at making people believe in him. One quality does not make a successful ruler.

"My friends," The god of thunder's voice was determined and oddly happy "we're going to Jotunheim."

Thor just assumed Loki would come with him. The god of mischief sat on the stairs where he had been during most of the one sided discussion. He seemed to have decided that he would go too. Ava watched him stand.

He looked past the girl and at his friends, his voice low. "Once we are gone go to my father. Tell him we are in Jotunheim and what Thor has convinced the others to do."

Ava frowned. "No. I'm coming with you."

"No, Ava. You have never been in battle before."

"And this is no battle. This is Thor 'looking for answers'."

"Which will result in a battle unless you get to father."

"Tell one of the guards to go to Odin." Ava was set.

"You are not a warrior." His voice was firm.

The girl looked through him. "Neither are you, but you can fight like one." She saw that he was unsettled by the way in which events were unfolding and took his hands. "Loki, I will not be a woman who sits at home and waits. I am going to come and fight alongside my friends. Thor is upset and you will be the one to steady him."

Loki glanced at her fingers. "His day of triumph will come…in time." He looked her right in the eye. "But your time to fight is not now."

"If it were me going into battle you would come, yes?"

"This is different, Ava."

"It isn't, Loki. I am coming with."

Thor entered the conversation. "What?" He looked at his brother. "She's coming?"

Ava turned to the blonde. "You know who my father is, would he let his child grow up without teaching them a thing or two?"

The man put a heavy hand on her shoulder. "We shall be glad to have you."

Loki glared at his brother, furious at him. The young woman squeezed his hand. "Trust me, Loki."

He said nothing more to her, leaving the room ahead of the others with a dark cloud over his head. Ava felt guilty for a moment but soon left for her suites. Her parents were not there so she could dress and leave quietly through the servants exit.

She opened a small side closet in her room, one that was only opened twice a week for combat training. Inside sat her armour made from black leather and gold stitched together by skilled hands. Her father had demanded that her torso be covered in hard metal; he had seen too many guts spilled to even imagine it happening to his daughter. Consequently the garment had been designed with crisscrossing plates that reached from the ribcage and stopped just above the hip. A matching piece had been grafted around the neck with a slit down the front to allow the girl to move. Everything else was thick leather; down through her boots she was protected.

When Thor saw her he was impressed. "You look like you belong in that armour."

Ava was pushing a long knife into a pouch at her hip, its matching pair already in place and her bow slung over its quiver on her back. "You all seem to forget who I was born to."

Sif smiled. "I am glad you are coming. How is Loki about it?"

"Angry." Was the reply.

"Well I have fought with you in training and I am happy for your company."

Ava and Sif had taken each other on a few times and they had grown in friendship through the brutal beatings of exercise and training combined. The people who see you sore and bleeding and who help you and push you further; they are the ones you keep.

Loki came up in front of the young woman. "I am not happy about this."

Sif vanished carefully.

"Why? Tell me why."

The prince caught her eyes in his and held her. "Because I promised I would try my best to keep you from harm and I cannot keep that promise if I let you come."

"And I promised the same and I cannot keep that promise if I let you go alone."

There was a silence.

Ava continued to hold the gaze he had caught her in. "Loki…"

He could see she was not going to change her mind. "Stay close to me."

She felt guilt touch her again. "I don't want to hurt you by doing this."

"Then don't do it. Don't come. Your father is going to be furious." His tone was slightly humorous.

Ava touched his face gently with a smile. "The worry you feel now is the same I would have if you were gone without me. Let me come. Let me fight by your side. I promise to be careful, I promise to watch your back, and I promise to listen to you."

He exhaled steadily as the sound of the horses being brought clattered up to them. He was settling and his anger had quieted into frustration and anxiety. He lifted his hand to hers and squeezed it. "Whatever happens, I love you. Do not forget."

There was something else in his tone that made the young woman worry but she brushed it aside as nerves for what they were about to do. She kissed him sweetly. "I wont."

They were going to secretly go to Jotunheim, against the wishes of the Allfather himself, and they were going to…Ava did not know. She knew battle was not the primary objective, that Thor wanted answers, yet here everyone was with their weapons. As they rode through their gorgeous golden city Ava saw Loki's concern growing. It was not for her though, there was an ease with her. He knew she was determined to come and while he was opposed to it, he was determined to protect her. It was a basic instinct and one that had come to him in a very unexpected time. That day was supposed to be about Thor; his expression was not for her, it was for something greater.

"What happened with the Frost Giants?" Ava asked as their horses trotted through the thin streets, the area would open soon and they would race away.

"The destroyer killed them. They got into the weapons vault."

This hit home quite hard. They had gotten far. "What did Odin say to do?"

"Not this." Loki replied. "He wanted to close the gap in our defences."

Ava felt as if she could not reach him at that time. He had closed up quite hard and she did not know why. She had not considered him capable of bringing Frost Giants to their doorstep, nor of letting things spiral out of control in order to maintain his innocence. The Loki she knew could, perhaps, become a victim of his own envy but surely not to the extent where it would start a war.

The Bifrost was beautiful. It seemed to go on forever, even though its end could be seen. The horses were easy on it and the whole stretch felt soothing. Everyone was silent and Loki's mind worked over time. By the time they had reached the end of the ride his mood had lightened, but fragilely so.

Heimdall had been expecting them. He stood with his ebony skin and golden eyes, still as a statue, as they approached.

Loki strode past his brother after they had dismounted. "Leave this to me." His tone had lightened considerably, as if something had clicked in his mind and he was taking some great opportunity.

"Great Heimdall…" he started.

"You are not dressed warmly enough." The god of mischief was cut off by the deeply knowing voice of the gatekeeper.

Loki frowned. "I'm sorry?"

"You think you can deceive me?"

"You must me mistaken…"

"ENOUGH!" Thor boomed over his brother.

This alone was enough to push Loki back into a state of frustration. He stood silent and angry that his brother had simply walked over him to obtain what he wanted; his regard little for his younger sibling as he strode for something he felt was greater.

"Heimdall, may we pass?" Thor was determined as ever.

The gatekeeper spoke in a low voice that broke into everyone's core. "Never has an enemy slipped my watch until this day." His eyes slid from Thor to Loki. "I want to know how it happened."

"Then tell no one where we have gone until we return, understand?"

Thor walked straight past Heimdall, his friends close by. Volstagg could not help but make a quip at Loki as he passed. "What happened? Silver tongue turn to lead?"

No wonder he felt so alone with Thor and his friends; he was not one of them, he was just with them. It was obvious when push came to shove. Ava brushed past him gently as Fandral and his great red-headed friend laughed at the god of mischief.

Loki followed them like a shadow. Ava took a place beside him when they entered the great golden orb that would throw them from their world into another.

She had expected something from Heimdall before he put began the process. He had always spoken about something before she had gone anywhere with her father. But the sound of his sword in the conductor sent a chill down her spine and Ava felt Loki's fingers brush hers. She smiled at him and her heart warmed to see him smiling back.

Electricity filled the room and the sound of metal rotating on an axis lifted up. The scent of hot metal and tangible energy scattered around. The orb began to spin wildly, everything inside steadfast. The energy exploded forward and away from the city.

Now Heimdall spoke. "Be warned, I will honour my oath to protect this realm as its gatekeeper. If your return threatens this realm the gate will remain closed to you. You will be left to die in the cold wastes of Jotunheim."

Everyone was quiet. Only Thor seemed entirely comfortable with this.

Volstagg had another remark ready. "Couldn't you just leave the bridge open for us?"

Heimdall was not one to pick up on humour. "To leave the bridge open would unleash the full power of the Bifrost and destroy Jotunheim and everything in it."

Loki glanced at Ava to say something but Thor spoke over everything, even his voice smiling at the anticipation "I have no plans to die today."

"No one does." Was the reply.

Ava closed her eyes as Heimdall pushed his sword deep into the Bifrost and forced the bridge to Jotunheim open fully. It was always such a thrilling ride. The blue light would take you quickly from your feet and encase you in its energy, the whole universe spinning outside as you hurtled down the bridge. There was no wind, though hair and clothes were pushed back as if there was, there was no sound but all imagined air rushing past their ears, there was no true light or darkness or sound, only the energy that pushed them ever forward. Soon they would slow and a planet would be seen beneath them. Huge and icy and the cold would soon become something to realise. The first time you expect to be crushed by your speed on landing but Ava had done this many times before and was not surprised by the gentle force given by the Bifrost as it released its travellers.

Ice and snow was thrown up around them and when it settled a world of darkness and frost was revealed. Crumbling pillars of ice that had once been great towers stood as shadows, houses were left empty and barren and there was silence.

Ava felt it now, what they were doing, how far they were going to quench Thor's ego. Even the god of thunder seemed to feel the place and its emptiness.

"We shouldn't be here." Hogan spoke in a whisper.

This did not stop Thor from moving forward toward the great darkness of a castle and whatever answers lay inside. Loki was surprised to see that Ava was not afraid. She walked with the others as if this were a normal thing. She seemed to blend into the environment as she had the cool winter days of Asgard. She could adapt, this girl. And here she was adapting for him.

The silence seemed eternal in Jotunheim.

"Where are they?" Sif searched the landscape.

"Hiding." Thor scoffed as they entered a large entrance way. Everyone spread out defensively, Loki glancing over his shoulder at Ava before stepping up to follow his brother closely.

The young woman felt a chill run through her clothes, but it was not from the air. It was from a voice that spoke down to them "You have come a long way to die, Asgardians."

"I am Thor, Odinson." There was no faltering now for the would-be-king. He would get what he wanted like a greedy child throwing a tantrum. He held his hammer aloft as a warning.

"We know who you are."

Ava looked up and saw Laufey perched on a seat above them, his eyes red and his skin a sickly blue. He was bigger than she expected he would be and he sat there shrouded in darkness. Waiting.

"How did your people get into Asgard?" Thor was angry now.

There was a long silence. The king of Jotunheim spoke, his eyes travelling over the group. "The house of Odin is full of traitors."

Thor's rage came out at this. "Do not dishonour my father's name with your lies."

"Your father is a murderer and a thief." Luafey stood, his true height even more intimidating from where he stood above them. Yet it was his words that were truly a problem; intentions make enemies, not people and he was suggesting that his race was not the darkness they should be seeking answers from.

Ava felt behind her and let the wood of her bow sit in her palm. She could take Laufey out in a single shot. But it was not her place. It was not her right. So she waited.

"Why do you come here looking for peace when you long for battle. You crave it. You are just a boy trying to prove himself a man." As Laufey spoke footsteps drifted in from the icy pillars, red eyes glowing from the faces of Frost Giants as they approached.

Thor seemed oblivious to this. To their numbers. To their intent. "This boy is growing tired of your mockery."

At the anger in his words the Frost Giants conjured weapons made of ice that formed brutal, sharp clubs down their arms and off their hands.

"Thor, stop and think for a moment." Loki stepped up to his brother quickly. "We're outnumbered."

Thor was not in a mood to be reasoned with. He had been insulted, his father had been insulted, and his coronation had been spoiled. "Know your place brother."

This did not deter Loki. He loved Thor, he loved his friends regardless of whether they treated him with the same respect.

Laufey spoke down to them. "You know not what your actions will unleash." He grew silent and sad, his voice ever as rough and lingering as ever. "I do. Go now while I still allow it."

It shocked Ava to see her father in this fallen soul. In this king who had seen war and death and had lost a great deal at the hands of both. He was saddened by the battle rage of Thor and obviously unwilling to give answers to the son of the man who had laid waste to his lands.

The young woman was torn from this thought at the thud, thud, thud, thud of feet drawing up in front of Thor and Loki. Never before had she seen a frost giant and never had she imagined them so big. The brothers were tall, she only came up to Thor's shoulder, and yet the giant stood over them by at least another half man, his skin detailed with ridges and patterns, his eyes red and his ears waiting for orders.

There was no time to be afraid. No time to do anything except leave or fight. Loki made the decision. "We will accept your most gracious offer." He watched Laufey to ensure the king did not do anything in a moment of distraction. "Come on brother."

Thor was fuming. Ava could see in Loki that this would be a little victory for him. He would have stopped a war before it happened, shown his father that Thor was not ready for the throne, and been the instigator in bringing them home safe. He had played his cards well for himself and for his friends.

But as Thor turned his back that all shattered. The Frost giant that had been before them spoke in a gravelly voice.

"Run back home, little princess."

Loki stopped dead. "Damn."

Thor was the only one who smiled. Everyone else felt their hearts drop at what was to come. The god of thunder released his hammer and slammed it into the insulting giant, throwing him back into a wall. As soon as he was gone he called eagerly for the next.

Ava had her bow in her hands quickly as enemies began to pour from the shadows; their intent was death and the victims would be them. Sif took out a double ended spear, Hogin his mace, Fandral his sword and Volstagg his axe. It was fight or die now. It was battle or death. Fight until there was one left or no more blood in your veins. It was terrifying but adrenaline was an alluring drug and it took over in a terrifying way. Thor seemed oblivious to them as he fought giant after giant. Loki shot ice at them, the blasts glowing blue with magic and shattering the frozen weapons on their enemies arms.

They came thicker and faster, throwing ice and punches. Ava dropped four before one got too close. She twisted her bow and used its end in the giant's eye, it roaring in pain as she removed her arrow from its string and used it to slit her attacker's throat.

For a while she fought like this, unable to get to her blades for the swiftness of their coming. Finally there was a short moment where everyone else was focused on all else except her. The bow went away and the knives came out.

Ava immediately drove one into the thigh of a Frost Giant. The great monster dropped to a knee and she used it as leverage, driving her foot into his chest and pushing up and away into the enemy coming at her from behind. Her one blade found its temple, the other its throat and she hauled herself away as it fell into the giant she had put on its knees.

Volstagg caught her eye for a moment. "I thought you were going to be nothing but trouble! But you're like a little wasp, aren't you?" He roared. "Good for you!"

Ava felt a small smile at the vague compliment. A huge hand swept into her side, pushing the air from her lungs. The young woman felt her body crash into the ground as the frost giant that had hit her approached. Two more followed and the girl took a deep breath, the air stinging her lungs, and rolled away before she was crushed by their giant ice clubs. She stood as quickly as possible and swept her weapons around quickly, catching an arm here, removing a finger there, and doing enough damage to cause a distraction. Before she could be killed she put her knife into the chest of one and through the eye of another, both blades coming back together to slice open the throat of her final enemy.

Apparently Volstagg's quip had distracted him too because the next words out of his mouth were screaming with pain. "DON'T LET THEM TOUCH YOU!" He yelled, a huge black handprint burned onto his arm.

Ava tasted blood in her mouth from landing so hard on the ground. Things were going badly now and they were about to snowball. You could feel it.

The young woman caught sight of Loki. He was only a few feet away. His hand forced its way into a Frost Giant's chest, but the great enemy did not fall. Its hand grabbed the prince's arm and over all the noise Ava heard the sound of Loki's armour cracking.

She cut down another enemy as she ran to him, already smelling the burning flesh, already feeling the blood run from her face. He would lose his arm. The giant was not letting go and Loki's hand was twisting in an effort to escape. And then everything went still. The movement stopped.

The young woman drew her bow quickly and put an arrow to the string. She released it just as the giant looked Loki in the face, his expression confused. The weapon planted itself in his skull as the prince put an icy shaft through his heart.

Ava slid to a halt beside the man she loved. He didn't seem to notice her, his eyes were on his arm and the way it was warm and whole beneath his skin. His eyes slid to hers for a moment and he seemed to want to speak but nothing came out.

There was no time for questions. Not even time for answers. A cry from Fandral saw him impaled on spikes of ice. Loki quickly cut down the enemies coming for him as Sif called out to Thor. It had been time to go a long time ago.

There was a lull now. Loki yelled at his brother. "WE MUST GO!"

"Then go!" Was the reply.

A great cracking noise alerted them all to something dire. Everyone except Thor took a sharp intake of breath at the great beast that was coming free from an icy prison. It had a round face with bugling eyes, a huge mouth and teeth that were bigger than your forearm.

Hogan hauled Fandral over his shoulder as Volstagg cried for them to run. Loki called out to Thor one last time and put a hand on the small of Ava's back. He was not pushing her forward; it was just a touch. Like a little touch on the back of the hand or down the spine. It was warm.

The young woman felt the desperation of the situation now. They had to leave. They had to go. She put her bow away, all her weapons secured on her so she could run. They ran. A roar echoed out behind them as the beast broke free. Ava saw Fandral's face and felt her heart sink.

The ice started to crack underfoot as the animal charged forward, its great weight and heavy strides breaking the ground. And then its tail came around, great and spiked and nearly impaling Sif.

That was when the ground truly began to fall. It broke from beneath them and running was difficult as they now had to pick their way through the crumbling ice. Fortunately the beast fell. It was out of sight now. They could run.

Since the battle began nothing but survival instinct had come to play. Fight. Don't die. Run. Run. Run. And then there was the feeling she had when she saw Loki attacked. That had become survival to; his life was now so tightly wound with hers that if he died…she felt as if she would die to.

Ava made it to the point of landing as Hogan yelled for Heimdall to open the bridge.

Just as the girl came to a stop a great grey hand baring huge claws lifted in front of them and slammed down, shaking the stability beneath their feet. The best had not fallen far and now reared itself up before them, roaring at them.

Ava took a step back and felt Loki against her shoulder, felt his heart against her body. The beast climbed up before them and reared up onto its back legs, it breath stinking of frozen flesh and stale time. The girl felt Loki's hand on her waist, felt him pulling her behind him. She half complied.

There was a sudden whistling and a splash of red. Thor appeared from the battle field and threw himself and his hammer right into the mouth of the beast before it could drop its great feet onto his friends. The animal roared and crumbled to its side, a great hole in its skull.

Thor landed in front of his team as it slid into the great chasm below the gateway. The prince was happy. He was smiling. But this soon faded as he saw the numbers that had followed them.

Once again Loki tried to place himself between Ava and the enemy. Frost Giants had appeared from nowhere, their presence thick and their intent reeking. They surrounded the Asgardians and moved ever forward onto them. The Asgardians were injured, tired, and wanting to leave. Only Thor wanted this battle to continue. Everyone else felt the rawness of their instincts burning the back of their throats. It would be helpless now. They would die, as Heimdall had warned them, in the cold and barren wasteland of their enemy.

As the Ice Giants started a silent charge there was a crack of thunder and the light of the Bifrost. It was bright at first, too bright to see anything, but soon Odin was there on a great war horse. Everything stopped.

"FATHER! We'll finish them together!" Thor was still eager and grinning.

The man leant forward form his horse. "Silence."

The smile vanished. Hope vanished. Light faded. All went quiet.

Laufey lifted himself to Odin on a pedestal of ice. "Allfather, you look aged."

"Laufey." Odin spoke without malice or anger. "Let this pass."

"Your boy sought this out."

"You're right." The king spoke to the other. "These are the actions of a boy and you should treat them as such. You and I can end this now, there is no need for more bloodshed."

"It is too late, Allfather." Laufey's voice was chilling, dark, ominous. It made one feel naked before a coming storm, helpless in the cold. "He'll get what he came for. War and death."

"So be it." Odin replied sadly but firmly.

Ava saw the Ice King form a blade of frost in his hand and raise it deftly to strike the king of Asgard down. Odin raised his staff and gave out a yell and before anything had registered they were in the Bifrost, hurtling back to Asgard.

In the plummet home the young woman felt a warmth down her arm. She touched her fingers to a place above her elbow and drew them back covered in blood. How long had she been hurt? How long had they been gone?

Ava felt like a child again. They all did before Odin and their own actions. What they would unleash when they got home was another matter all together. Everything was moving quickly and if not careful ould fall from control before anyone had even blinked.

* * *

_Long chapter is long. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know your honest opinion, I am always open for constuctive criticism.  
I actually had the movie going as I wrote this chapter. The words are as are, or very close to those spoken in the film._

_Hope you enjoyed the battle._

P.


	15. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13  
**

* * *

Arriving back in Asgard was like waking up from a nightmare. You feel the dread in your chest and your heart is still pounding from what happened before; but this was not a nightmare. It was a storm. And the god of thunder himself was initiating it all.

"Why did you bring us back?" Thor roared at his father.

Odin went to where Heimdall's sword held the Bifrost open. "Do you realise what you've done? What you've started?"

"I was protecting my home!"

"You cant even protect your friends, how can you hope to protect the kingdom?" Odin hauled Heimdall's sword from the Bifrost and threw it to the gatekeeper as if it weighed no more than a book. He turned to Sif and her warriors three. To Fandral who was crumbling, his smile still there but blood oozing from the hole in his chest. To Volstagg whose burn smelled of seared flesh and frozen meat all at once. To Sif and her bruises and exhaustion. To Ava and the blood dripping off her fingers and onto the golden floor. Loki noticed how she was holding her arm, the way it obviously hurt. He looked as if he felt responsible for a moment but Odin overtook all else with his voice and his argument with Thor.

"Get them to the healing room! Now!" The King yelled at everyone who could walk. Volstagg and Hogan already had Fandral's arms draped over their shoulders.

Ava felt Loki run his hand down her back in a small level of concern. She would be fine, but she wasn't at that moment. She was bleeding and worried for what was about to happen.

"Go with Sif. I will be fine here."

The young woman nodded, trusting his judgement and knowing that the moments about to unfold were for a father and his sons, not for anyone else.

"There wont be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act!" Thor was furious with his father for stealing him from the battle. "The Joutins must learn to fear me just as they once learned to fear you."

"That is pride and vanity talking, not leadership. Have you forgotten everything I taught you about a warrior's patience?"

The last words Ava heard before getting out of ear shot were Odin and Thor's – words that crashed as waves on the sand during a storm, that crumbled all else around them. Thor must have said something before but the king was now shouting and his words shot from the Bifrost and followed them. Odin's tone could shatter the void itself. There is nothing more terrifying than the wrath of a father directed at a son, nothing to respect more than a respectful man's judgement even in times of great anger. But Thor seemed to not grasp any of that. "You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!"

"And you are an old man and a fool!"

There was silence. The small group of friends and wounded mounted the horses they had left when they went to Joutenheim. Volstagg lifted Fandral in front of Hogan before mounting his own horse, the pain in his arm obviously bothering him. They rode away quickly, leaving behind a growing storm.

Ava heard the Bifrost open again, its energy shooting into another realm behind them. She felt her throat close.

0.0.0

It took a few stitches to pull the wound closed. Ava would have a neat scar above her elbow from now on. Her father was less than impressed and had yelled and lectured and not made much sense until he had pulled his daughter to his chest.

"Don't ever do that again, Ava." He said into her hair. "Don't ever seek out war. Don't ever seek out battles. You cannot become an old soul like me with scars that reach further into the soul than any other thing."

The girl embraced her father. "You would have done it too. You would have gone with your friends."

"I would have. But I don't want this life for you. I don't want any darkness for you."

"Everyone gets darkness, father." Ava spoke into his chest. "You've just got to find the light again."

"And if you don't? I will not have that for you."

The girl leant back and looked her father in the eye, her expression gentle and a sad smile playing on her mouth. "Papa, I am not your little girl anymore. I have to protect myself now."

He kissed her forehead, still not willing to accept every father's saddest moment; that his daughter was now something else as well. She was a lover and a fighter and a woman of her own.

A servant entered the small living room and before they could announce the guest Loki strode straight past. He spoke directly to Erik. "Is she okay?"

The man smiled sadly. "She is fine."

Ava pulled away from her father and extended her good arm to Loki. He took her against him and held onto her for a long moment. Erik felt his daughter leave his side. She was still his child, but she now stood by another.

"What has happened to Thor?" Ava looked up at the prince. "I saw the Bifrost open as we rode away."

"Father has banished him."

The young woman searched his face. It was tormented and upset, conflicted in nearly every way. "Banished?"

"Father said he had betrayed Asgard, betrayed his loved ones, betrayed him. So he cast him out."

"For how long?"

"I don't know."

Erik watched them and decided it was time to leave. Ava took Loki to her room and shut the door.

"Are you okay?" She watched him walk to her balcony. "Loki?"

He clenched his jaw. "Everything went so wrong today."

Ava didn't say anything. She just put her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her face and then down to her arm where a white bandage was wrapped.

"Thor was banished, we are now at war with the Joutins, and you got hurt."

"I'm fine, Loki." The girl felt his fingers brush over where she had been wounded. She watched his expression and saw that flash of guilt again. "Loki…what did you do?"

He looked her in the eye. "I only meant to disrupt the day. I did not mean for Thor to start a war. I did not want him gone. I love my brother dearly and he will make a good king in time; I just wanted to be his equal. I told one of the guards before we left to inform father of what was happening. There was never supposed to be a battle."

"You planned a disruption so huge it would lead to Jotunheim?" Ava felt the blood rushing from her fingers.

"No." He said firmly. "No. None of that. That guard should have reached father and ended it all before the Bifrost was even opened. I didn't…I had nothing to do with the events that took us to the Bifrost. My plan did not work at all."

He had made plans out of the events of the day, used them to his advantage…and then they all slipped away from his grasp and he could not stop it. And he had no stopped either. She felt like his desperation and envy had over taken him. He had once said that envy could drive a man to madness, but that he was not mad. No, he wasn't mad. He was misguided. So misguided, so far down the wrong path that he dared not stop, dared not stop just in case it linked back to the right path, in case it went up instead of down. Ava felt herself going after him. "Loki, come back to me."

He felt her wrap her arms around him as if she could hold him together.

"Whatever you have done, stop it now. Wherever you have gone, wherever I am following you to, you can go back." Ava knew he had not revealed the full story and she was afraid of where it was leading her. She knew that this went further.

"Come. We must go to Sif, and her warriors. They are expecting us."

"Okay." The girl nodded. She took his face in her hands. "Loki, whatever you have done – I will always love you. I might be mad and hurt and not like you for a while but never think that I won't love you. Never think that I wont go to the ends of the universe to bring you back."

Something in him softened, some of the torment of the day lifted. He kissed her. Ava felt his desperation, felt that he was going through a great hardship that she did not understand. She did not know the details of her father's days at war but she knew that they hurt him. In the same way she did not know what Loki had done, but she knew it was tearing him apart and that he didn't know how to stop.

They went to a great sitting room together, Asgard silent beneath them. Three large couches were spread around a fire. Sif and her warriors three were all there in varying states of disrepair but all very much alive and kicking.

"We should have never let him go." The great redhead spoke from a seat he had occupied entirely for himself.

"There was no stopping him." Sif watched her men carefully as she sat beside Ava. They were all very concerned for Thor, for the events of the day and how they came to pass.

"At least he's only banished instead of dead, which is what we'd all be if that guard hadn't told the Allfather where we'd gone." Fandral was sitting easily on one of the couches, his body mostly healed by the magic of Asgard. It had taken a while to get him to be okay but once the had he returned to his old self again.

Volstagg flinched as a healer rubbed a salve on his burn. Ava glanced at Loki and saw him paying attention not to the room and not to the city below. He was twisting his hand, watching it for changes. She had forgotten how a giant had got hold of him, how he had come home with an arm of his armour missing. How she had thought he would lose a limb, how his bones must have been breaking beneath the great grip of the Frost Giant. But here he was, fully functional and unhurt.

"How did the guard even know?" Volstagg said curiously.

"I told him." Loki turned around.

"What?" Fandral frowned.

"He should have been flogged for taking so long. We should have never reached Jotunheim." He was bitter.

"You told the guard?" Volstagg had some trouble grasping this concept and the warriors three all glanced at each other, their obvious distrust of Loki growing in the absence of Thor.

"It saved our lives." He paused. "And Thor's. I had no idea father would banish him for what he did."

Ava saw he was being honest. That he was being entirely sincere.

Sif rose from her seat. "You must go to the Allfather and convince him to change his mind." She approached Loki.

"If I do then what?" A shadow slipped into his voice. The sincerity was still there but the envy started to seep out with it. "I love Thor more dearly than any of you but you know what he is. He's arrogant, he's reckless, he's dangerous. You saw how he was today. Is that what Asgard needs from its king?"

Ava did not move as Loki left. The prince was angry at the response of his friends, angry that they had only seen Thor's loss and now how his hand had helped them survive. Perhaps it was selfish, but the young woman had seen in him that he needed to be alone. There was nothing, not even comfort, could do for him right now; he had to do it himself. He had too many questions that she did not know the answer to.

Sif turned to the room. "He speaks of him as king of Asgard but he's _always_ been jealous of Thor."

Volstagg spoke a little reluctantly. "We should be grateful to him, he saved our lives."

"Laufey said there were traitors in the house of Odin." Hogan stood over the fire, ignoring what the redhead had said and going straight back to Sif. "A master of magic could break three Joutins into Asgard."

Ava didn't know what to say to this. Fortunately Fandral spoke up first. "Loki has always been one for mischief but what you're talking about is something else entirely."

The young woman glanced at her hands. "Loki is capable of many, many things but I do not think he could comprehend what happened today. None of us could have. He might be a master of magic but he is a prankster, not a traitor."

Sif turned to her. "Did he ever speak of this day before?"

Ava searched the faces of her friends. "He knew Thor was not ready. We all knew, really. Today was just the proof that came too late. But he loves his brother; he would never want to see him banished. No one could have planned today, there was no control to it, it just happened."

"But he played it to his advantage." Sif continued. "He used it to equal himself to Thor, to get rid of his brother."

"He said himself that he did not know Thor would be banished. We are lucky that any of us are alive, that he had the foresight to tell a guard what was happening. No one could stop Thor besides Odin and I did not see any of you stepping away from what was happening. If someone has to be guilty today then it is all of us. Thor would have never made it to Jotunheim if we had not agreed to come."

There was a silence. Ava stood up and headed for the door.

"You have always been Thor's friends, the least you could do is treat his brother with some respect."

"And what if it was Loki who let the Joutins in?"

"Then it was him." Ava replied. "Until you can prove that then there is no reason for you to automatically assume the worst."

The young woman left knowing they would speak of her. Knowing they would say she was not able to accurately judge his behaviour because of her proximity to him. And that was true to some extent, but she would always be open to the truth about Loki. And she would always know the truth that he was a good man inside, misguided, lonely, and desperate for his father's love – but he was good. He was hers and she was his. Love is not blinding, if anything it is eye opening if you have the courage to see.

And the fear in Ava's heart let her see that perhaps things were not as they seemed; that maybe she had ignored the shadow creeping over Loki for too long now.

0.0.0

Ava found herself in her room, standing at the balcony and staring at the city below. Her mind had stopped working now. It had gone overtime, thinking the worst and the best of what had happened that day. All she did now was feel a rawness at the unknown future. At the uncertainty of it all.

Loki had been gone for hours now. The sun would soon be rising.

There was a knock at her door. The young woman turned to see her father. He was hesitant for a moment. With all that had happened she assumed something awful had happened.

"What is wrong?" She stepped into her room.

Erik looked tired. "It is the Allfather. He has fallen into the Odin Sleep."

Ava stopped. "What?"

"It is when..."

"I know what it is." The young woman sank onto a chair, her heart sore for Loki and all that had happened today. "When?"

"A few hours after you got back. He was in the weapons vault."

Ava stared at the patterns on her floor for a while. "Father…I am so sorry I left without telling you today."

Erik stepped in to his daugher's room.

"I cant imagine what was going through your head when you found out."

"I thought…I thought you were dead." He spoke softly, his rough voice still dragging through the room. "Dead like so many others in that place."

Ava returned to her feet and put her arms around him. "There are going to be times when I let you down, father. I am going to make you angry. I am going to make you scared. But…I never mean to. It is never intentional."

He nodded. "I know. I have been someone's child too, you know." A grin spread across his face.

"Where has mother been?" The girl asked carefully. "She has not come to see me and I cannot get into her rooms."

"She is upset, Ava." The man replied. "Not at you though."

The girl knew in the pause what had happened to Eira. "She…she wished it had been Niklaus running off to battle. Even at the risk of his life. Was she not concerned for me?"

"Of course she was. That is why she is away. She feels bad."

Ava nodded. She would never understand her mother. "I must go to Loki."

Erik petted her back. "You should indeed."

The young woman nodded. She headed straight past her father and to the royal suites. The guards let her pass easily and she found Loki standing outside a great room. He saw her and seemed to relax a bit. He looked tired, drained both physically and mentally. She had no idea what he had been through without her.

"Loki. I just heard what happened." Ava did not pause before wrapping her arms around him. She felt him relax against her. "How is he?"

"It is…hard to see." He pulled back to look at her. "I have never seen him so…still."

"It has been a day of great hardship, Loki." Ava spoke softly.

He breathed steadily. "Are you alright?"

"I am concerned for you. For your father. For your mother. I worry that…that you are not telling me things that perhaps you should."

He opened his mouth but no words came out.

"Is it Thor?"

The man bit the inside of his mouth briefly and let her go, pacing a few steps down the hall.

"It isn't that he's gone is it? It's that the thing you wanted to be rid of is still here."

"People mourn him despite his stupidity." Loki sounded bitter.

Ava stayed back, allowing him to have his room. "And they would mourn you if you did something similar. You are not Thor, Loki. No one is ever going to see you as him because you aren't. Stop trying. Be Loki. Be the man I him fell in love with."

He stopped and became still. He looked at her silently, afraid to touch her now knowing what he was. He had seen his soul and it was a mess of darkness and tangles and thorns. He could break her into pieces. Destroy her entirely. She was consumed by his love, vulnerable in it. He could shatter her with a few words, with a touch. Loki could see that she knew that. See that she still stayed. Ava must have been crazy but he was thankful for it. She was all that kept him afloat now. Everything had gone wrong. Everything. Things had gone too far and spun out of control.

He grew afraid of losing her. Afraid of not telling her the truth. Afraid of what she would think when she knew why Odin had fallen into his sleep.

"I…I must tell you something." Loki turned to her, glancing around as he did so. "We must go somewhere where no one can hear. I am not who you think I am."

"You're scaring me." Ava replied.

He took her hands in his. "And what I show you won't make you any less fearful."

She saw how tormented he was. He did not want her to know but at the same time he knew he would hate himself if he did not show her. "Okay." Ava replied. "Okay, show me."

He could have just told her but instead he took her down to the weapons vault, deep into the heart of the palace. It was silent, there was no airflow, no natural light, nothing but footsteps and shadows.

Ava held Loki's hand like a summer lover as they went, her pulse feeling as if it would tear itself through her throat. The man stopped before the great door that led to the central chamber and abruptly kissed her. He then pulled away and strode into the room, right to the end by the gate lit by white light and the great blue casket before it. The Joutins casket. The source of their power.

"Stay there." He stopped Ava as she came halfway to him.

She saw his fingers take hold of the casket. She could leave now. Leave him, leave the room, leave the entire thing behind. But she didn't. She was bound to him and none of the strings that held them together were broken.

"What are you doing, Loki?" Ava took half a step forward but stopped abruptly when he turned around.

The prince still held the casket in his hands, his skin blue as the Frost Giant's, his skin detailed as theirs was in little ridges and patterns. The thing that devastated Ava the most were his eyes; red and eerie and not at all familiar.

Loki saw that she wanted to step back but didn't. He watched her take a deep breath and swallow before moving forward toward him. The young woman stood so close she could feel the cold radiating off the casket. She searched his face, his eyes. She looked right into him as she had done a thousand times before and inside she saw him. Ava saw him in there.

The girl lifted her hand to his face, her fingers pressing to his icy skin. The blue turned warm, returning his skin to is regular hue under her touch. Loki turned and put the casket down, his hands still around it.

"What happened?" Ava asked. "Loki?"

"You saw during the battle that an Ice Giant grabbed me and that I was left unhurt. The touch…revealed what I was. What I am?"

"And what are you?"

He was silent as he removed his hands from the relic. "Laufey's son."

The quiet echoed through the room. "Laufey?"

Loki turned back to her. He was hurt by how open she seemed to be, how soft her expression was despite her confusion, despite the darkness suddenly enveloping her.

Ava exhaled. "What can I do?"

The man smiled bitterly. "What can you do? There is nothing you can do. I am a monster."

"You are not a monster, Loki. You are a man. You are a good man, a son of Asgard. It does not matter who bore you, who fathered you. It only matters who loved you, who called you their own. You are a prince here, Odin's son."

"It makes sense now. Why my father favoured Thor all these years. I am no more than a stolen relic to him. He couldn't have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard."

Ava felt hurt for him. It had been an exhausting day and then this…"Loki…"

"I am the monster parents tell their children about at night."

The young woman closed the gap between them and pressed her body into his. "No. Not to me."

She could feel him breaking around her and hung onto him as if it would help. She knew it wouldn't, she knew there would be many pieces to pick up after this. And that it would hurt. But she would do it.

"I will help you so long as you are willing to help me do that. I cannot do it alone." Ava spoke into his chest as she realised the weight of her promises to him. They might kill her, she knew that. She might not survive. She might startle from fear and run away. But she could try.

"Why are you…you want to stay?"

"Of course." The young woman looked up at him. "If something is broken, you fix it. If it is hard you try harder. But Loki…if this takes over…" Ava felt tears prick in her eyes as she clung to the prince. "I made a promise to come after you. I made a promise to find you. And I will. I swear I will. But I cant promise there will be a trip home for both of us."

Loki put a hand under her chin to stop her looking away. "Don't say that. Please don't say that. I cannot lose you too."

Ava swallowed. "Until the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, until the rivers run dry, and the mountains blow in the wind as leaves I will love you."

Loki kissed the tear that rolled down her cheek. It hurt him to see her struggling so much with what she knew was coming. She knew it was going to hurt and she was afraid for him despite what it would mean for her.

He tucked her head under his chin, feeling warm again after having held the casket. Loki was shaken from Jotunheim. Shaken that his prank had spun so far out of his reach. He had seen that his father's rage was more than he had anticipated, that this anger at the favoured son was not going to blow over. Part of him had been pleased, that finally Thor was not the perfect child. But…the rest of him had been torn. It had not been long since he had seen his arm turn blue in the hand of a giant. He had not burned or broken.

He had suspected something then and when Odin had yelled at him he had realised just how different he was. He was an outsider that had literally been brought in from the cold and loved. And he had never been told. He had always lived thinking he had done something to be worth less than Thor, but he hadn't. And it made him angry to know that all these years he had been living in false hope. But this overwhelming envy had been holding him since childhood and if he left now he would never be free of it.

He just wanted to be free of it.

* * *

_I just want to say thank you to all my wonderful readers and reviewers for their support. You keep me motivated even when I feel like I'm doing an awful job. And you tell me when I'm doing an awful job which is great because once I know I can start doing better. So thank you. I appreciate you all._  
_Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Let me know._

_P._


	16. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14  
**

* * *

Ava walked with Loki back to Odin's chamber, her fingers lightly held in his in support. The palace was still dark and the dawn was hesitant in its arrival, even the guards outside of the Allfather's room seemed as if they were trapped in some frozen time, waiting until things were restored.

Ava hesitated. "I should not come in. This is between you and your family." She held his hand between both of hers and watched the way her skin blended through his. Her eyes lifted to his. "You need to speak to your mother about everything that has happened."

Loki nodded and pressed his spare hand behind her neck, guiding her closer so he could press his mouth to her forehead. He didn't say anything at all. Whatever he was feeling could not b expressed. He was in a dark place, a confusing place, on a path that he had never intended to be on. The guard should have reached the Allfather sooner, they should have never made it to Jotunheim, Thor should only have been scolded and recognised as not yet ready for the throne. That was all. But now a great power had been woken and secrets undone and all was falling away so fast you could barely see the outline of your original intention.

Ava headed back to her own room and crawled into her own bed. Every part of her was exhausted. Even so, it took a long time to fall asleep, her mind whirring and spinning at all that had happened and wondering if it was possible for so much to go on in such a short space of time. Some people go their whole lives without anything dramatic happening. They just carry on like the tides; sometimes rough, sometimes calm, and always in a pattern. And others…other lives are much more complicated. They cannot be compared to the sea or the seasons because they are like nothing else in the whole universe. There is no metaphor to make living these lives easier, no way of telling them a time will pass because there is no guarantee that it will. Everyone could go to a dark place and never come out even if they had every intention of finding the light again. Wander long enough and you will find it, but some just don't have that time.

Ava slept for a few hours before rising and washing her face in cold water. Loki knew Thor had gone to Jotunheim to slay Ice Giants and when he returned he found out that he was the son of Laufey. He lost so much that day but worst of all he seemed to have lost his identity. Ava had seen him, she knew he was there, but his pride and envy and confusion were all that he truly knew. That and that she loved him.

The young woman changed into a soft purple dress with a high collar and brushed her hair out. She stared at herself in her mirror. She looked no different, felt no different. Nothing had changed inside of her, not her feelings, not her expectations, nothing. Knowing Loki was Laufey's son had not changed how she loved him, knowing that he had brought the Joutins into Asgard had hurt her – seeing that he was so desperate had been a wake up call and she had been shocked but she would stand by him. She would admit he was wrong, fight with him about it if need be, and stay beside him.

But just because you haven't changed doesn't mean you aren't tired, that you can't feel raw and desperate.

Ava stood and walked back to the royal suites. No one stopped her and no one greeted her. The news of the Odin Sleep had not reached any ears other than those behind closed doors so life in the palace was going on as per usual. The young woman went to the door in front of Odin's chamber.

Ava hesitated outside the door. A voice called from inside.

"Come in, Ava."

At the voice of their queen the guards opened the door for the young woman. She hesitated. "I don't want to intrude. I just came to see if you were okay." She saw Loki on one side of a great bed and Frigga on the other.

It was dark. They had closed his room up and lit fires so he could rest in a warm peace. Odin lay silent, surrounded by a golden glow and looking more like an old man than a king. Having known him you could see his wisdom, his temper, and his love but to watch him being so still, so silent…it was like seeing a mountain fall into the sea.

"You are not intruding." Frigga smiled tiredly. "You are part of this family now, you are welcome."

Ava hesitated a moment more before stepping into the great chamber. A crow squawked and the doors slammed shut behind her. It was a very peaceful place, silent and still. Frigga stood to embrace the young woman as she came in. The girl obviously did not quite know where she fit in this picture.

Ava hugged the queen back and spoke gently to her. "I am sorry this has all happened. Are you alright?"

"I am worried for Odin." She looked at her husband. "We were not prepared for this."

The young woman glanced at the great man so quiet and still in his bed. "We can never be prepared for this."

Frigga smiled sadly and Ava walked over to where Loki sat on a low bench beside his father's bed. He had smiled smally when she arrived and shifted his body so she could sit beside him. She wrapped her pinky finger around his and sat quietly. It was comforting to have her there. To have the warmth of another person even in a room full of fire was a calming thing.

Frigga sat down opposite them and Loki spoke to the young woman, his eyes ever on his father and his hand over the man's. "We were talking of the secrets kept from me." Loki's tone was somewhat bitter and confused. "Of why such secrets are kept."

The queen reached over the bed to squeeze the man's hand as it rested over her husband's. "You are our son, Loki. Nothing will change that. Your father only ever kept this secret to protect you."

"Protect me from what? Why couldn't he just tell me?"

"Your father does all things for a purpose, Loki."

Ava continued to watch Odin. Everyone did everything for a purpose, and sometimes we got it wrong. Sometimes the way we go about achieving what we want takes us furthest from the things we need.

"I asked him to be honest with you from the beginning." Frigga spoke crisply. Quietly. "There should be no secrets in family."

Loki was watching his father, his eyebrows knit together. His face seeming younger than it should be under the stress. Instead of it aging him it had taken him back to the feelings he had as a child. Of being an outcast, of being lonely and misunderstood. "So why did he lie?"

Frigga watched her son. "He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different."

The man met his mother's eye.

"You are our son, Loki and we your family. You must know that." She was still regal in this time of trouble. Still guiding her children as a mother must. "You can speak to him. He can see and hear us even now."

"How long will it last?"

Ava remained still and quiet. Loki was completely consumed by what his mother was saying, losing himself in whatever place his mind had wandered to, to whatever questions it had.

"I don't know." Frigga replied to his question. "This time it's different. We were unprepared."

"I'll never get used to seeing him like this." The prince spoke what they were all thinking. "The most powerful being in the nine realms lying helpless until his body is restored."

Ava squeezed his hand and he glanced at her. There he was. Fully Loki, fully the man she loved but still a man so hurt and lost.

"You are a good son, you must never lose hope that your father will return to us." Frigga spoke to him. "And your brother."

Loki leant forward slightly at her last words. "What hope is there for Thor?"

The queen repeated what she had said to Ava. "There is always a purpose to everything your father does. He may yet find a way home."

Loki grew still. He seemed overwhelmed, he was learning much, thinking too much, and perhaps not hoping enough. The man rose, his hand slipping from Ava's. She stayed seated and silently watched him walk through the room away from his father's side. Her heart beat lifted a little as she worried for him, for how this would affect him. He moved as if he were in the shadows, as if he were afraid of the effects of the light.

The quiet ended abruptly as the door was opened. A line of guards in their golden capes and metal helmets called out and dropped to a single knee, their hands over their hearts in a clenched fist. Loki stopped and stared at them. Frigga seemed perfectly at ease; the only one in the room who was.

The head of the palace guard entered the room with the golden staff of the Allfather and dropped to his knee in front of Loki. He held the item up, the tool used by kings to govern Asgard, to open the Birfrost and summon the destroyer; a piece of metal that was held only by the hands of a ruler.

Loki's expression was heartbreaking. His father's staff, the one that would have been his brother's…offered to him. He did not seem to want it. He didn't even seem to want to touch it. His heart wrenched at the reasons behind this offer. He turned to his mother.

"Thor is banished" She spoke clearly "The line of succession falls to you until Odin awakens Asgard is yours."

The guard lifted the sceptre and bowed his head.

Loki's face became hard. This was surely all he ever wanted; to be in the light rather than in the shade of his brother. To be able to prove to his father he was a worthy son, to have the power to lift himself up to become his brother's equal. He had never wanted the throne and it was obvious that he still hesitated as his hand touched the gold. But this…this envy of his, this drive, and all this hurt and confusion…  
Loki wrapped his fingers around the staff.

"Make your father proud." Frigga smiled softly.

Ava watched the man turn to them, his eyes fixed on the object in his hands. Then he looked straight at her, his expression asking for only one thing; to be saved.

0.0.0

The young woman went with Loki, on the encouragement of his mother, to a balcony on the far side of the royal suites. He stood there, looking out over the vast and beautiful expanse of Asgard while his hands still awkwardly held the staff.

"Do you know what this means?" He asked smoothly.

"It means that you are king." Ava replied. "It means you are in charge of a whole realm and the wellbeing of many more."

He paused a moment and let his eyes fall onto the object in his hands. "It means I have taken Thor's place." His eyebrows raised and knit together at the same time. Confused and elated and very conflicted. "I am the one they must look to now. I am the one they must come to."

"Loki…" The young woman watched him. "Just because you are a king does not mean everything changes."

"But it will." His face was full of an idea. "I…I can become the worthy son. When father wakes I can be the one who save him, the one who held Asgard, the one who…"

"No. No, you tried this Loki and look what happened."

"Yes, look what happened." He turned around and planted the bottom of the staff on the ground. "I am king."

"You never wanted to be king." She replied.

Loki was silent.

Ava closed the gap between them. "Many things have been revealed to you in the last few hours, many things have happened. You went from being a scolded boy to a king in a night. Do not forget that you never wished your brother to be banished, you never wished your father into the Odin Sleep."

"Are you not happy for me?"

"Of course I am happy for you." She replied softly. "I just don't think you are."

He met her eyes. "What would you know? You never had anyone to compare yourself to. No one looking down on you. But no one can look down on me now. They all have to bow."

"That isn't fair, Loki. You cannot look down on others simply because they looked down on you." She swallowed. "I love you. Be the king you would want your family to live under. Not just your mother and father and brother but for the sons and daughters you could have. You never wanted anyone to look up at you, Loki. You just wanted them to look you in the eye as an equal."

The man clenched his jaw as his mind whirled from what he wanted and what he now had. Once you had something you never thought you wanted it became difficult to let it go. To ignore the possibilities. That envy and despair still ate at Loki made it nearly impossible for him to step back from himself, from all else, and simply do something for the love of his family.

Ava ran her thumb under his eye, her fingertips in the edge of his hair. "You are tired." Her tone was soft. "Come." Her fingers wandered down from his face and to his hand, a gentle smile on her face. Even though her sadness for Thor and Odin, her worry for Loki…she could still see him. Still try to give him what was best for him, even if it was a bitter pull to take. He needed to see what he was doing, where he was going. He needed to take a break. And he did not want to.

The man slid his hand from hers. "I must go attend to matters of Asgard."

Ava frowned slightly as he started to walk back into the palace. He had just made a choice that she could not comprehend. A darkness settled on his shoulders and he grew to fill the shape of his own negativity. The person who had tagged along with Thor and his friends, who had never really been appreciated, who had always considered himself to be in the shadow of his older brother – that person was all there was for a moment. Ava saw Loki disappear behind it all and wanted to reach in and pull him out, but he walked away. This was where the search into the darkness began and already she felt blind.

The young king found himself on the throne of Asgard. Ava had placed herself nearby, in his sight, waiting to see what he would do. But he just sat. He sat in his own thoughts and he delved through all the things he could now do. All the way he could achieve his father's love; ruling dutifully while he was gone did not seem like it would cut it. He would lose the throne and the staff and be pushed aside again. No, he had to do something more.

Ava had seen what he was capable of. He had brought three Frost Giants into Asgard. And then he had found out he was Laufey's son, that his father had lied to him. He had lost his brother because he lost control of his own plans and then he started to feel guilty for appreciating the light it had given him. The space he now had to be a true son of Asgard; even if he felt that whole title was a lie.

Footsteps echoed up the side steps to the landing in front of the throne and soon Sif and her warriors three were in plain sight.

"Allfather we must speak with you." They all came in with their heads bowed and did not see who sat before them.

They were surprised to see Loki in his golden horns, the staff of Odin in his hand.

"My friends." He leant back as he spoke.

"Where is Odin?" Fandral asked as the four stepped before Loki.

"Father has fallen into the Odin Sleep and mother fears he will never awaken again." Ava heard a sickness in his voice and closed her eyes to the fear in her gut. He had been there just a second ago. She had been with him in the weapons vault, in Odin's chamber. Where had he gone? Where was he going?

"We would speak with the queen." Sif dismissed Loki easily.

The man seemed to pay no attention. "She has refused to leave my father's bedside. You can bring your urgent matter to me…." And then his tone changed. He would have over them all they had held over him for all these years; imagined or not. "Your king."

The warriors stepped back for a moment as Loki rose. He loomed over them all like a great storm cloud. There was something in his voice that said that they were not his friends, even if he claimed to be. It was the same feeling he had been given time and time again.

Sif and her warriors three took a moment to place their fists over their hearts and bow down to one knee. "My king…we have come to ask if you would end Thor's banishment."

Loki snorted. "My first command cannot be to undo the Allfather's last." He began down the stairs toward them. "We are on the bring of war with Jotunheim. Our people need a sense of continuity to feel safe in these difficult times." He came to a stop, still a step above them. "All of us must work together for the good of Asgard."

Power was a potent catalyst. Whatever had been stirring, be it good or bad, grew under its touch. It could make you provide for your friends or take from them what you feel was taken from you.

Sif saw this and was quick to her feet. Fandral and Hogan were just as quick to grab her arms. "Yes, of course." The blonde man said.

"Good then." Loki watched the woman. "Then you will await my word."

"If I may…" Volstagg started. The king put on a long suffering expression at his voice. "May we indulge your…your majesty to perhaps reconsider?"

"We're done." Loki raised his voice. His tone ended all conversation.

The men stood and slowly turned away. Sif lingered a moment, she would fight him. He turned from her in a dismissive way and Ava stepped up to the warrior.

"Sif." She spoke lowly.

The woman looked at her.

"I will speak to him."

Sif nodded, her eyes still on Loki as he sat back in his throne. The woman disappeared after her warriors.

"Ava." Loki's voice boomed out through the room. "I will not change my mind."

"I do not know what mind you are in." She turned to him. "They are your friends, Loki. Not farm boys asking you for a king's horse. You treated them like children."

"And why shouldn't I?" He was bitter. "Have you seen how they treated me?"

"I have. But it makes you no better to treat them that way back."

He clenched his jaw. "They were quick to bow before me. They know what I can do. They know I have the power to bring Thor back, to start a war. If it were my brother up here they would be celebrating, but because it is me…"

Ava saw him change. She climbed the stairs to him. "Loki, you are imagining things as worse than they are."

"Why do you defend them?"

"I don't." She stopped, nearly to the top. "I'm just trying to find you again."

The man's face changed into a sad frown for the briefest of moments as her words hit home.

"I love you, Loki. Come back to me. You were here only a moment ago. Be the king I know you can be, not a bitter child."

His gaze on her was not understanding. He was angry. "You would not have me as king?"

"I did not say that."

He stood up and loomed above her. "Then tell me what you would say?"

She frowned, suddenly feeling afraid and defensive, but also desperate to bring him back. "I would have you remember who you are…"

"And who am I?" He spoke strongly.

A valid question for one in his position. "Do not let the past few hours change you. You are Loki of Asgard. Even if you are envious of your brother you still love him dearly. Even if you sometimes resent your father he is still your hero. You are a man with a family who loves you and who you love."

"And you?"

"And you love me." She said honestly, her expression open and her heart open to any attack. She laid herself bare before him in order to bring him back.

Loki closed his eyes and exhaled.

"Do not let innocent people suffer because of your stubbornness and pride."

His eyes opened. "Bow to me."

Ava blinked slowly and felt the air leave her. "What?"

"Bow to me."

"Loki…"

"Bow to me!"

Ava stepped back as he yelled. She looked around before bringing her eyes back up to his. "No."

He scrutinised her. "Excuse me?"

"No. I do not know you. I will not bow to a man who claims wants to be treated as an equal but then refuses to extend the same right to others. When you deserve the power you have been given I will bow to you, when men respect you enough to willingly drop to their knees before you, then I will bow to you and call you my king. Right now you are just a brat who is confusing power for a way into his father's heart."

His nostrils flared angrily. He could order her flogged, killed, banished. He could cast her aside. "Why cannot you adapt as I have?"

"You are not adapting, Loki." Ava felt her finger tips shaking. "You are…lost. Just stop and come back."

"You said you would stay by me." His tone was judging now.

The young woman swallowed. "I will. But that does not mean I think you are right. I truly love you and because of that I can be true to you."

A portion of Loki came out, sad between the lines. "Nothing can save you from me."

"I don't care."

"You are afraid."

Ava inhaled deeply, looking at the city beside them as she did so. She turned back to him and nodded silently. "I am afraid of the dark. I am afraid that I won't be able to find you again."

"Then bow to me. Stay by my side. Be a queen." The words were not his, they were the words of the envious king who felt that being on the throne was just as lonely as standing in its shadow. It was not the statement of a lover, of a best friend, and confidant.

The young woman closed her eyes, tears slipping out as she shook her head. "No. I will look for you and I will find you, but I will not bow to the man you are hiding behind."

"Get out." His voice was low and rough and not at all his own.

Ava did not reply to him. She held his gaze shakily for a long moment before twisting her body away and descending the stairs. She focused on nothing but the door and the miles and miles that stretched before her and the end of the room.

0.0.0

The young woman went to her room and drew the curtains closed, her chest feeling as if it would burst and her skin feeling as if it had no blood or warmth left in it. She stripped her dress from her body and climbed into her bed.

And then she cried. Her heart cracked open for him, for the fact that she had let him slip away. She always knew he would go to that place but seeing him there was more painful than anything else she had experienced. But he had been in there somewhere. Loki was there. He had warned her that he would hurt her.

Not until you experience that promised hurt can you possibly comprehend the size of the promises you have made. They seemed impossible but Ava clung to them. She would cling to them until she could hold on no more, until she turned to dust and there was nothing else in the universe. She knew him and she wanted him back more than anything else. Not for herself, she could live without him if only it meant he would be Loki again. The Loki that could be happy, that could be good, and as bright as the sun.

It felt like he had been ripped from her and all he had been touching ached violently. They were still attached and she did not cut the lines. She could never cut the lines.

Ava felt her breath coming short and sharp and she curled herself into a little ball and cried for him until her head hurt and the back of her throat felt sticky.

She had cried like this when Niklaus had died. Cried so hard it physically hurt. She had cried because she missed him, and it was the same. But this time there was hope and with hope comes desperation and all the rawness of the two intertwined.

When Ava stopped crying she remained under her covers, peeling a portion of the back away to look at her curtains. Behind them the lights of the city shone vaguely. They were curtains designed to block out all sunlight, to create total darkness. But there they were – little pinpricks of light floating through tiny holes in the fabric. Because she knew of the real light it was easier to see its slivers.

The young woman swallowed and watched. If the wind picked up the lights would vanish and then they would come back. Unless Asgard fell into darkness she would still have something to look to in the pitch black.

Even then it was hard to see. Darkness is terrifying and once you have seen the truth behind it, the lights you know to be there, it can cripple you with fear. Fear of loss, fear of pain, fear of misery.

Did her love override that? Love does not give you courage; it just helps you find it.

Ava felt her mattress sink behind her, felt a hand on the small of her waist. She didn't move or say anything.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." She replied softly. "I did not mean to hurt you. I just…I never mean to hurt you but if that's what…"

"I know." He peeled the covers down past her head. He had come in and lit the fire in her room with his magic, lighting the area with warmth.

Ava twisted to look at him, her face still a little blotchy from crying. "There you are."

Loki smiled sadly. The horns and cape were gone.

"How long will you stay?" She said, not speaking of the night.

He swallowed and looked at her curtains. "I don't know."

She couldn't imagine how afraid he was of what he could do. Once he started he couldn't stop because once he lost control he could not halt the plummet. There was only one way and it hurt when you hit the bottom. Maybe someone would save him if he fell and maybe they would help him back up. And maybe he would go all the way down and make the long climb back up.

Loki lay down beside her, their faces millimetres apart. There he was. The young woman closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to his. "I am so scared of the dark."

And in his mind he replied to her. In his mind he said 'me too' but the stubbornness had taken over and he had a firm grip on his plans. The Loki that wanted his father and brother to love him and treat him as an equal was back, the effects of power and pride gone.

She made him selfless but you cannot change a changeable person. The god of mischief was always a dangerous person to fall in love with.

"Don't forget me." Ava said in a whisper, the wind picked up and the young woman knew that the little lights would have vanished. The fireplace was only temporary. "Look for me as I do for you. Dont lose hope in me."

This was their silence before the storm. And what a storm it was going to be.

* * *

_To begin with...I am so priviledged to have readers who dont just read stories but think about them too. Thank you to all of you for turning words into magic and for your support and constructive criticism, your suggestions and your little fan moments. _

_In the movie the scene where Loki and Frigga talk about Odin is AFTER the scene with Sif and the warriors asking for Thor back. But the original scene, the uncut version, is where Loki becomes king. I liked the flow of that better so I kept it. The dialogue is or is close to that from the scenes and all credit for them goes to Marvel and people behind the movie.  
_

_Let me know what you thought of this chapter._

Blessings,  
P.  



	17. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15  
**

* * *

When it was winter the darkness had come swiftly. You saw it coming and you watched it take you. It was simple, expected. But in the spring time, the time of coronations and secrets, the darkness lingers on the edges and creeps forward so stealthily that you are consumed before you even noticed the sun was sinking down.

Ava blinked to the morning. Her curtains had been drawn back suddenly and the young woman was blinded for a moment. The first place she looked was at the empty space beside her, and then her eyes travelled to the figure at her balcony.

The young woman felt her headache. The headache of many, many tears. After Loki had come to her the night before she had cried and he had held her. She cried for him and even now, in the clarity of morning, knew that her feelings were justified.

He would fall.

"I will be going through the Bifrost today. I want you to stay here." Loki spoke evenly as he watched the city and its golden towers.

Ava sat up. The morning was cool. "Why?"

"The less I tell you the better."

"Are you afraid I will stop you?"

"You cannot stop me." He said bitterly.

Ava knew this was true. He couldn't even stop himself. He would have to fall into the darkness and she would keep her promise and go after him. Into the abyss he would go and without faltering she knew she would leap after him. She had to. Not to become the darkness, not to enjoy it; but to find him again. He had become more to her than the light and without him all would be lost. If there was any chance that he could survive all this, survive the great storm that was coming, she would find him.

The young woman pulled her robe from her bed post and drew it around herself before getting out of bed. "Where are you going?"

"Jotunheim."

Ava felt her heart sink. She was afraid. "For what purpose?"

He turned to her and looked right into her soul. He felt like he could never lie to her. Not even to protect her from the truth. "To prove to father that I am a worthy son."

"Whatever plan you have, whatever…whatever thing you feel you must do…" Ava searched his face, seeking a path away. There was definitely one. There had to be. "You can stop now. Just be a good king while your father sleeps. That man you were yesterday is not you, that man is a gathering of all your hurts and envy. That man will destroy you." She pressed her forehead to his. "Don't let him destroy you."

Ava felt Loki's hands on the side of her head, his fingers in her hair. She felt him breathing her in, felt him memorising the feeling of her skin beneath his fingers and remembering the taste of her through his soul.

The young woman closed her eyes and stayed there in his warmth. This was the man she loved. She wrapped her fingers into his shirt. "Don't go." She whispered. "Don't go to Jotunheim."

"I must." He spoke lowly.

Ava inhaled and opened her eyes to him. "Am I not enough for you?"

Loki felt a piece of him sink at her words. "You are more than enough for me. You deserve so much better."

"Then be better."

He had to smile at that. Ava searched his face as he spoke. "This is not about you and me. This is not about anything you will ever be able to do for me."

The young woman looked down, her gaze in the middle distance. He pressed his mouth to the top of her head and did not want to imagine how she must feel. Even though she knew how desperate things were, how unstoppable he was, she held fast. She was still determined, despite it all, to bring him back and pull him away. She was hope because she had hope.

A few minutes later Ava stood alone in her room. She paced back and forth. Agitated. Knowing she could do nothing tore her apart. Not doing anything though…that was worse. She had to try. Even the supposed impossible had been achieved before; become possible. Maybe…she had to try. After an hour she saw the Bifrost power up and launch Loki toward whatever his plans held. She would find out what was happening soon enough, but that was not soon enough. Even in a helpless situation the girl was determined not to be helpless.

Ava felt something in her harden, felt it grow and settle. She would not stand idly by. She would not just follow into the darkness; she would fight it with all she had. Everything she had. Even if it killed her.

The young woman dressed, went to the stable and fetched her horse. She rode straight to the Bifrost and dismounted, her feet carried her to Heimdall who stood waiting for the return call of the king.

"What do you see?" Ava did not falter as she stepped in. "What is he doing?"

The great man watched her. "He has gone to earth."

"Earth?" The young woman faltered. "He told me Jotunheim not an hour ago."

"That is his next destination."

"Why would he not tell me he was going to earth?" Ava stepped in front of Heimdall. She was dwarfed by him, made to look like a rag-doll in front of his statuesque presence. "What do you see, Heimdall?"

"Do you love him?" The man spoke to her, his golden eyes sliding into hers.

"I do."

"Then I shall not tell you for it is not Loki who has gone to earth."

Ava blinked and felt a tear slip from her eyes as if the storm in them were about to break. "Can I help him? How can I help him?"

The gatekeeper looked right over her head. "I do not know."

"Is he with Thor?"

"Yes."

"Tell me, Gatekeeper. To find him I must know where he has gone."

The man tightened his grip on his blade. "Thor's hammer would not rise to his hand and he is now in the custody of mortals. Loki lies to him about his father, about his mother, and about Jotunheim."

Ava waited.

"He has said that the Allfather is dead. That his mother has forbidden his return. That there is a truce with the Jotunheim that does not permit his homecoming."

The young woman felt her head reel. None of that was true. Not even a small piece.

"You have fallen for a talented liar, girl." Heimdall looked at her once more.

"I did not fall for the liar." She replied. "I fell for Loki."

The gatekeeper was silent for a long while. He seemed to come alive in the quiet, moving to some invisible call. "He is asking to go to Jotunheim."

"Send me as well." Ava stepped in front of the opening that would send her to the realm of Frost Giants.

"No." Was the drawn out reply.

"What?"

"No. I will not open a way for you to Jotunheim."

"I can stop him. Whatever he is doing I can stop him."

"Not from there." Heimdall's voice never altered in pitch. "Remain in Asgard, wait for his return. Reason with him them."

Ava felt that the man did not mean the return of the man through the Bifrost. Heimdall opened the Bifrost and the great bridge began to glow and spin and call forth the energy that would transport a single man from one world to another through a galaxy of hurt and torment.

The young woman stayed for a lingering moment. She knew Heimdall would have to permit her passage if she pressed him; he was not bound to any rule that kept her in Asgard. But he wanted her here, he in all his years of waiting and watching, of sending people on journeys and into battles…he knew her fight was here and not on the icy ground of the Frost Giant realm.

The young woman steeled herself and returned to her horse. She stood in front of the animal and remembered the time she had been dragged by it. He had not meant to hurt her but it was impossible once she was caught. And now he was as calm as a summer day, waiting for her to come to him.

Ava mounted her animal and went back to the palace. She climbed the stairs to the royal suites and went straight to Loki's room. There she waited. She waited with his books and maps and views. She waited knowing that this was the first place he would come after being in through the Bifrost. He would want to think and plan and plot. He would want to lose himself and she would not have it. Not for him. Not that. He deserved more than that.

Loki found her sitting elegantly in an armchair, her feet bare and folded beneath her. She still had a gentleness about her but there was something else, a determination. An adoration. A sempiternal love.

"I went to Heimdall after you left." Ava spoke gently. "He told me you were on earth."

"Yes." Loki detached his robe and hung it over a seat. "I went to see Thor."

"Is he okay? Is he happy?"

The man looked down at his hands for a steady moment. "He will be. He can be."

"He will have to be, wont he?"

Loki looked up at her. "What did Heimdall tell you?"

"He told me you lied to your brother. You broke his heart, Loki. You told him that his father had died, that his mother had forbidden his return, that there was a truce that does not exist. You did not go to Jotunheim to make that truce, did you?"

"No."

Ava looked genuinely concerned. Her feet touched the ground and she stood. He felt her cool fingers on his neck, on his jaw; turning his head to face her. "What if this gets out of control like last time?"

"It wont." Was the blunt reply.

"What will you do when Odin awakes? If Thor manages to pick that hammer up? What will you do when all the people you love find out that you have lied and cheated just so you can have a power that makes people look up to you?"

"Thor will never pick up that hammer and father will have to put me first."

"You don't want to be first. You want a tie."

He brushed her hand away and walked to the edge of the room, to the great drop to the city below.

"What have you done, Loki?" Ava asked, her tone not threatening in any way. "What did you want with Laufey?"

"I have…arranged a deal with him. One that will end with father thanking me, with him seeing that I am a worthy son."

Ava saw something in him when he turned that made her take a step back.

"What is it to you anyway? Who are you to question me? I am your king." He was angry.

"You are the man I love. That is everything to me."

Loki eyed her. "You such a delicate little thing; I am surprised I have not broken you yet."

"Not yet." She replied quietly.

"Is it worth it?" He queried. "All this impossible anxiety for something you can neither understand nor stop?"

"Yes. Help me understand so that it can be stopped."

"I cannot stop." His tone quieted. "Not now. Not when I am so close."

Ava quickly closed the distance between them and kissed him passionately. She drew back an inch and spoke in a whisper. "Just because I cannot stop you does not mean I will not try."

Loki was left to wonder at this, relief and anxiety clouding his mind at her words as she slipped from the room and into the palace.

0.0.0  
Ava found Sif and her warriors three in the room they had been in the night before. The room they had discussed Loki in. The topic had barely changed.

Fandral was angry. He was yelling at Volstagg. "Our dearest friend banished, Loki on the Throne, Asgard on the brink of war…yet you have managed to consume four wild boar, six pheasants, a side of beef and two casks of ale. Shame on you! Don't you care!" He hit the plate his friend was holding and sent it flying across the room.

The red head stood and yelled "Do not mistake my appetite for apathy!"

Sif and Hogan were on their feet, none of them yet aware of Ava's presence at the door. They were too busy trying to prevent a fight.

"Stop it. Both of you stop." The warrior pulled Fandral back while Hogan steadied Volstagg.

Ava stepped into the room. "You all know what you have to do." She said evenly.

Four pairs of eyes turned to her silently.

"We must find Thor." Hogan spoke rarely and when he did he meant every word.

Fandral turned to the man, glancing at Ava as he did so. "It is treason. Why are you concerned anyway? You are practically a queen now."

"I do not want to be a queen, Fandral." The young woman knew that they spoke of her in the quiet. That they thought she was somehow involved in the creation of their troubles. "I want Loki back. That is all."

"Where has he gone?" The red head watched the blonde.

"It is where he is going that I am concerned about." Ava felt her heart flying in her chest. "But you must go. Find Thor. Commit treason for the sake of your friend."

"To hell with treason." Volstagg stated. "Its suicide."

"He would do the same for us." Sif spoke lowly.

All of the warriors registered the magnitude of what they were going to do.

"Shush. Heimdall might be watching."

Ava had been counting on that. Her plan depended on Heimdall and his protective instincts for Asgard. The man would never go against the king but he might not have to.

There was a sound of feet in the door and a golden caped guard made himself present. "Heimdall wishes to speak with you."

The young woman smiled smally, her heart breaking. Loki would be hurt if he knew she had a hand in this. Maybe he would not know why Thor's friends went through the Bifrost, but he would know it was not good. If he was to fall then it should be fast and quick, the height reduced as much as possible.

This could bring him forth, break his plan. Bring him home. Maybe.

Sif turned to Ava. "Are you coming?"

"No." Was the reply. "I must find Loki again. When he sees the Bifrost open after you have gone missing…I will need to be there."

The woman nodded. "Be careful."

Ava smiled. "Be sure to come back."

Sif returned the warm expression. "We will say you had no part in this. It was our idea anyway, you were just the first to speak it."

"Do not lie for me. I would rather be hurt by the truth than ignorant in a lie."

"Then you will be hurt many times, my friend."

The girl knew this all too well. "Sif, what you do you do for Thor. I do this for Loki. Whatever he is planning must be stopped and whatever happens after you are gone is on you."

Sid nodded. "I know. You fight well with weapons, Ava but you are better with your words. Be careful; not all battles go to plan."

"No battle ever goes to plan. It is what I am counting on."

"Not just Loki's, Ava. Us going could trigger something. It could make things worse."

Ava nodded and swallowed. "Go. Quickly."

The young woman watched her friends leave before making her way to the great throne room and the balcony behind it that overlooked the Bifrost and the city. She wanted to see them ride over the bridge before going to Loki but she found the god of mischief already there.

"Did you think I would not know?" He said evenly without turning to her. He wore his cape and held the staff of kings. "I ordered Heimdall to not let anyone pass. Let us see how many betray me today."

"I did not betray you."

"Didn't you?" He smiled sarcastically. "Bringing Thor back to put an end to my reign? That's betrayal and treason."

"I want Thor back for you. I cannot let you lose yourself to whatever plan you are setting in motion. That would be true betrayal."

Loki quieted. "Do you love me?"

"I do."

"What would you do for that love?"

Ava watched the back of his head. "I would die for you."

The man turned. His expression was torn between two selves. Two ideals. She might have to die for him before all this was over. Especially if she was so determined to save him. To stop him.

"It cannot be stopped, Ava."

"There is always hope."

Loki closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "Perhaps I do not wish to be saved."

"You are a very good liar." Ava smiled softly.

He smiled sadly in return. "You cannot be saved."

"No." She shook her head. "I cannot. I am drowning."

"Are you afraid?"

"Very."

"What will you do?"

The young woman hesitated. "I can still hear you as this storm approaches, as this darkness slips in while no one watches. I can feel you fading, your soul dying and decaying. You're leaving me alone in this darkness and its very lonely. But I can still hear you."

Loki turned back to the view. "Was the betrayal worth it?"

Ava paused. He had sealed himself away in an instant. Locked the part of himself that could be drawn to her words away so that he did not lose a grip on his plan. "I don't know yet."

The Bifrost whirred to life in the distance.

Loki's shoulders stiffened, his whole being becoming angry. Not because this was against his plan, but because it went against his orders. Those friends of Thor's had chosen him despite it all. Heimdall had abandoned his orders for them. Once again he was the lesser brother.

The Bifrost opened and its light shot out into the universe, no doubt carrying Sif and her warriors three to earth. Ava watched them go, wishing them Godspeed. Whatever Loki was doing to become greater than his brother would ruin him.

"They chose to go long before I arrived."

"You got Heimdall's attention." Loki spoke bitterly. "You took the side of Thor."

"I did no such thing."

"He cannot come back. You know this. He is mortal now. What did you hope to achieve?"

"I hope to stop you from destroying yourself."

Loki gripped his staff and turned abruptly. "Who are you to try to control the actions of a king?"

Ava stood her ground. She did not reply. Saying that she was the one who loved him most, the one who was not afraid to argue with him, the one who would hold his hand through all hurts…

"You are under my rule, do you understand me?" He approached her.

The young woman felt her heart cracking for the person before her.

"Bow to me." He said flatly as he stood over her.

"Not because you order it."

Loki's eyes flashed. "Bow to me."

Ava had backed away last time. She did not now.

"I am your king!" He said in a quiet, ominous voice. "And you will bow to me regardless of whether or not it is an order."

The young woman made no move.

Loki put his hand on her shoulder and forced her down and forward with a hiss. Ava's landing was abrupt. She had not expected this from him at all. She felt her knees hit the golden floor, felt the cold of the metal and the way the landing radiated through her legs. The girl felt the blood slip from her body and into nothingness around her.

Loki crouched down in front of her and took her hand in his. He closed her fingers into a fist and pressed her hand to her heart. "There." He spoke in a whisper. "Was that so hard?"

Ava met his eye and tore her hand from his grip. She was determined and steadfast; her face almost aggressive.

The man's frown shifted. She was crying. She made no move to wipe her tears away; the only thing she did was settle onto her feet, sitting rather than bowing with her hands in her lap. He did not know how long she had been crying for him; he had been blinded by his anger and his need, by the poison he had created throughout childhood that infected him so brutally.

Loki put his staff down and reached out to touch her, his expression now pained and tormented, completely disbelieving. His hands came out to touch her, to comfort her. His touch lingered above her skin. He wanted to wipe her tears away, but he didn't. The man was in a state of disbelief. He wanted to ask who had done this to her but the answer was tearing him apart inside. He really was lost. So misguided, so driven by lifelong envy and determination.

Ava felt her fingertips shaking as Loki collected his staff and stood quickly. He vanished from the balcony. Heimdall would feel him coming now and the young woman hoped the gatekeeper was ready. The things that had been set into motion could not be stopped now. Whatever happened on earth would have happened without her, whatever Sif and her warriors did, whatever Loki did…it was not for her. It was for the great battle between siblings that should never, ever turn so potent and one sided.

The storm had arrived.

* * *

_Those who know the movie know what happens next. I guess you could consider the next chapter the finale (though there will be a chapter after).  
Hope you enjoyed this installment. Let me know.  
_

_Blessings,_  
_P._

P.S) All who reviewed the last chapter - I am going to reply to you. I pinky swear. I've just been super busy. And to those who I cannot reply to - thank you for all the time and effort you put into reading and reviewing.  



	18. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16  
**

* * *

Ava stayed on that balcony for a little while. She struggled with herself, tried to think of a plan but came up with nothing. She felt awful for having encouraged Sif and her Warriors Three to Earth; she did not know what Loki would do now, what his anger would lead him to do. It was not the man who drove the body any more but rather the emotions behind him. His soul was buried so far beneath his own envy that he thought the only way out was to burrow down.

Loki would go to Heimdal next; she could feel it. As she had seen him she saw what he could do to do himself. All that potential, all that goodness and light and love – it was like someone had drawn the curtains over him; like he had drawn them over himself. He was not himself. Not at all. He had found himself in a desolate place, a lonely place, and he just kept going further and further into it in the hope of coming out the other side. But he had hope. Ava clung to that.

Love held many truths, some of which were painful and broken and elongated in their struggle; but it was all part of it. It was all part of what it was to be in love with someone. It would be so easy to give up. How she wanted to give up. Just go to her room, climb into bed and sleep until it was over. Sleep until all was forgotten; until she had forgotten. But no one can ever forget a love so pure and vulnerable. A true love. A love that hurt so much she thought she might die.

Ava stayed with him now because she loved him and she had made a promise to him; so long as that man remained within the shadow she would continue to love him and keep her promise. But being in the shadow and becoming the darkness were different things and you would never be able to tell the difference until you either joined the side of the one in the shade or were consumed yourself.

The young woman took a deep breath and stood, her knees stiff from their impact with the ground and her skin chilled from the night air. A force that tingled its way into her skin, the same that she had felt on the day of coronation when Odin had ordered the Destroyer after the intruders.

Ava stiffened and felt an instant intermingling of sadness and dread. He was sending the Destroyer after his own brother, after the friends he had tagged along with since he was a boy. That sort of scar never heals but Loki was just ripping the old wound open.

She had done this. She had pushed them to go. So she ran. Ava ran through the halls of Asgard with her heart in her throat. The need to stop him was acute and all else faded away. He would never forgive himself for sending the machine after his brother.

The door to the war room stood before her, the two guards standing beside it easily. Ava straightened and caught her breath, her heart never slowing as she walked to the entry. She was not stopped. The doors pushed open under her hands and she slammed them shut behind her.

There he was at the bottom of a short flight of stairs, making his way up to the door and the world beyond.

Ava had not yet caught her breath. "Don't send the Destroyer. Call it back"

Silence.

"Just because you cannot be Thor does not give you the right to kill him." Her voice was uneasy but slowly smoothing and calming. "Loki, you have dug yourself quite the hole. What will your father say when he awakens and finds out that the Destroyer was sent to kill his eldest son? Did you even think about that? You have all these plans and all these wants but you are so lost and misguided that you don't need some great metal machine to turn you to dust – you're doing it yourself."

The king was silent for a long moment. Ava descended the stairs to stand on the same level.

"Of course you're hurting because of the secrets kept from you, because you feel inferior – you're trying to make up for it but you aren't, you're making it worse. So much worse."

Loki was definitely struggling inside, the anger slamming against the walls of his self; anger at himself, anger at his friends, anger at Ava for trying to stop him even when he knew she was trying to help him. Even though her intentions were pure, her actions in his best interest; she wanted to stop him – she who was supposed to stand beside him. He Loki knew why she opposed his actions, he knew she loved him, but any conflict with a lover is still a conflict. And it hurts. It hurts in an honest, brutal way that makes you love someone so much more for having the courage to be able to stand up to you. How easy it would be to take her in his arms and stop this now. It would be a few seconds of understanding, an hour of reconciliation, and a lifetime of trying to overcome it all. He had hurt her. Hurt her so much; that was the most difficult thing to confront.

Loki's expression was concerned, sad even, his fingers moving to run down the side of her face. But she flinched away just before he could touch her, his face filling with despair at the response.

"I'm sorry." He said in a whisper. "I am so sorry."

"You cant say sorry and then go and do it all again. You can't continue this cycle. I cant bring myself to believe it's a cycle; an eternity of stubbornness, selfishness, and pride – come out of it, Loki." Ava took his hand and gently placed it on the side of her face. She closed her eyes at the warmth and turned her head to kiss his palm. "Stop doing this."

His expression faltered, going deeper into sadness and then into determination. "I must do this."

Ava opened her eyes to him, her fingers moving his hand from her face and pressing it to his heart. "Feel your heartbeat, Loki. Your body is alive but you are poisoning your soul. Stop it. Stop it now. Come back to me, please come back to me."

He was silent.

"What is in this darkness for you?" She whispered desperately as she searched his face. "Why are you doing this?"

Loki clenched his jaw. "To prove to father that I am a worthy son. When he wakes I will have destroyed that race of monsters, saved his life…I will be his true heir."

Ava stiffened, her hand falling from his. "What? Destroy…You will destroy Jotunheim?" She saw it was true and no longer was the Destroyer her only concern. "You can't, Loki. And you cannot be a true heir simply because Thor is dead. You are no murderer. Do not let your stubbornness and pride cause the suffering of innocents."

"Innocents?" He said in a sharp tone. "The Frost Giants decimated lands with war and then Thor went and nearly started the same again."

"So the one who sees these errors and builds upon them is supposed to be better?" Ava stood taller."Loki this is not you."

"Who am I supposed to be then? I will never be good enough as I am. I have to do something more"

"Then do something more but not by taking life away. Call back the Destroyer. Call it back and I will help you see that you are good enough. You can't be blind forever, you will see as others do – that you are a Son of Asgard. A prince who is so loved and so deserving, but not of this." Ava saw the desperation in his face, the way he searched her for some answer to a question even he did not understand.

Loki pushed a hair from her face and watched the way it joined the others. "Maybe I see it all better than the rest."

The girl shook her head. He swallowed. Ava wanted to embrace him but didn't. She was still hurt, still raw. "I miss you, Loki. You are missing from me."

He looked into her eyes and saw that she spoke truth. Loki inhaled, his face hardening. "Don't try to stop me."

She caught his hand as he turned away. "I will always be trying to stop you from falling into darkness. Loki, I cannot repair any damage you do, I just live in it. Whatever poison you take for yourself you give to me as well."

"Then leave. Leave Asgard, leave the palace. I will not be the one to save you."

"No, you are too busy trying to save yourself."

He turned back to her. "I will save my father, save Asgard. I will be the saviour of this realm."

"No you wont!" Ava felt very small in front of him but she raised her voice all the same. "On Jotunheim you put yourself between me and that great beast, between me and the approaching Frost Giants. What has happened to that man? The man who wanted his father to stop Thor before you reached Jotunheim? Who simply wanted to postpone his brother's big day because he wasn't ready? Where is the man I ride with? Who holds me when I sleep and teaches me little magic's?"

He looked away from her. "I cannot defend you from myself."

"But you can." She paused for a knowing moment. "What have you done, Loki?"

The king hesitated. "It cannot be stopped now." He nearly shouted. "So stop trying."

She raised her voice back. "No. I will not stop trying. I will fight for you and what I know you are. This person, whatever has inhabited you, is completely alien. It is hostile and ugly and it will decimate you entirely."

"What is it to you?" Loki replied.

Ava searched his face for some light. Any light. "I truly love you and I will never give up on that."

"True love is a lie." He replied in a whisper.

Ava spoke in the same hushed tone. "Then it is the most beautiful lie we have." She felt her fingertips trembling. "Don't push me away because you don't feel like you're worth it."

She saw in his face that she had hit home. Ever since he had first commanded her to bow before him he had felt his heart breaking for her. He had not wanted to hurt her more, he had not wanted to destroy her; so he tried to separate his being from hers and it was proving to be an impossible task. Loki did not feel like he was equal to his brother, so how could he have enough merit to be loved so enduringly?

"Just keep your promise." He said flatly. With those words he swept out of her room and left Ava alone.

The young woman clenched her jaw and tried not to weep for him, for how lost and alone he was. For how he was so afraid of help that he could not see it nor hear it no accept it when it came near. This man was truly shattered. And it was going to be worse.

Thor and Sif and all her friends were going to suffer. It was all so dark and cold and not even the warmest summer day could melt the ice. Loki had frozen his heart to keep it safe but he did not notice it dying within him.

The young woman wondered how many pieces of him she would have to pick up at the end of all this. She wondered how many pieces of herself would be left behind.

Ava straightened herself and went to the wardrobe that held her armour. She pulled it on quickly and took her bow from its place above her bed, strapping it to her back beside its quiver the young woman headed out of the door and toward Heimdal.

The young woman took her horse and galloped down to the Bifrost, her heart sinking at the unmoving form that stood alone in front of the orb. Before she stopped she knew that the gatekeeper had been frozen and that Loki had the casket of the Frost Giants.

Whatever he planned he planned to do alone because no one would support him.

Ava dismounted and looked at the man trapped in ice, the cold gripping him on all sides and locking him into position. He had tried to attack Loki with the blade that opened the Bifrost. The girl looked into his face and saw that his eyes were still alive. The king had not killed him. She exhaled in relief.

"Heimdal, I am so sorry." The girl hesitantly reached out to touch his blade.

The moment she did her mind swelled and exploded. She saw all the light of the Bifrost, all the energy of that great bridge, and then the looming planet Earth. Her body felt separate from her thoughts and behind her eyes she saw a little dusty town with peeling paint walls and very mortal inhabitants. Amongst them all were Sif and her warriors three and Thor. Thor in all his mortality; in skin that broke and bruised so easily and with a heart that stopped so suddenly – with death behind him but his shoulders still holding up the world.

A little human girl seemed so worried about him, so tied to him. The early bonds of an honest love were there, thin as a spiders web and so beautiful.

And they were all being blasted into oblivion by the Destroyer. The machine was shooting blasts at stores, sending hot glass in all directions. It was flattening Volstagg against a wall, throwing Sif behind a burning car, and dropping Hogan and Fandral like flies. All the warriors were struggling; this was not a fair fight. Not by a long shot.

Thor ran to the woman and dropped by her side. Ava could not hear them but Sif was accepting something he said with some difficulty. The blonde made his way to her warriors and they smiled as they hailed Volstagg to his feet. The Destroyer seemed to wait expectantly.

And Thor moved from his friends and straight toward it. The little humans began to move with stood the Asgardian warriors but they stopped when they noticed their friend was not with them. The prince strode down a burning street toward the great war machine, away from them and toward something much greater.

Ava felt her heart sinking. Thor was speaking, speaking no doubt to Loki whose mind was tied to the Destroyer and who could call it back on a whim. But he wouldn't. He would not call the monster back. Even when the burning in the face of the weapon dulled and its huge figure turned away she knew that he would not stop.

The Destroyer turned back sharply, driving its arm out and its hand across Thor's chest. The spikes on its limbs dug into his flesh and the force threw the man back with bone crushing power. Ava felt her knees go weak as her friend's body crumbled and rolled, falling like a rag doll against the earth.

The little human girl ran to his side. At least he would not be alone. She cried for him as he sacrificed his last breaths for her. This was the purity and light, the potential Loki had. The thing he was throwing away for something he thought greater.

Thor's eyes closed and Ava gasped as she was released from whatever grip Heimdal was able to have on her. She collapsed on the bridge, her limbs feeling like lead and her mind exploding from the experience. The young woman struggled to her feet and took in the Gate Keeper.

"What was that? Why would you show me that?" She said desperately. "You know it is not him. You know this is not Loki."

Heimdal was frozen and silent. He was trying to tell her something. Trying to tell her that though this man was not the man she loves, this was what he was capable of. If he could kill his brother, what else was he able to do?

Ava stood on the bridge and looked back at the city. She could do nothing for Thor now. Her heart broke for him and bled for Loki. Loki loved his brother, he did, and that love had overridden the envy for years and years; it was the most powerful emotion there was. But power was not an emotion. Power magnified the good and the bad and in Loki's case had forced him to see only one way into equality and love.

What hope was there if he could not even part the darkness for his brother? Ava walked into the great orb of the Bifrost and sat on the stairs, her breath getting away from her and her head still sore from sharing in Heimdal's sight. That man was of such unknown power, he possessed so many great gifts and in all his life he had never been known to do that. Ava was glad for him. Glad that there was one who was willing to help her see Loki as he was becoming. Glad that someone was helping guide her into the darkness – even if that was not his intent. Ava swallowed and ran her hand over her face. She was terrified. So terrified her fingers could not help from shaking and her heart could not slow.

There was no dawn in sight, only twilight and darkness. But he was in this darkness. Somewhere. And she had made a promise. No one ever considers what will happen if a promise is put to the test but its never easy; its never easy to hold yourself together despite it all.

But she had to.

Loki came not long after his brother had died, passing Heimdal without a second thought and stopping abruptly when he saw Ava sitting on the stair below the keyhole.

"What are you doing here?" He wielded his staff menacingly.

The young woman did not stand. "Mourning your brother."

Loki clenched his jaw. "Thor is not dead."

"Heimdal showed me. I don't know how. You killed your brother, Loki."

"You did not see anything after that?" The king asked, his voice aggravated.

Ava looked up. "No."

Loki was angry, frustrated, and between it all – relieved. "He is not dead."

The girl stood. "How?"

"The hammer." Was all the man said. "But he is not coming back here. I will not open the Bifrost for him and Heimdal no longer can. He is trapped on his beloved earth with his wretched friends."

Loki stepped up past Ava and put his staff into the keyhole to open the Bifrost.

"Leave." His tone was demanding.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere." He knew she would not go and pressed the weapon deeper, pulling the bridge open.

Ava stumbled back when she saw who came through. Her bow was off her back in a moment, an arrow at the string. She drew back and held, her eyes darting to Loki.

"What have you done?" Her voice was low. "What the hell are you doing?"

Loki drew his staff and put his attention onto his visitors. "Welcome to Asgard."

Laufey smiled. "She won't be a problem, will she?"

The king looked over his shoulder at Ava. "Stand down."

"No." She met his eye.

"Stand. Down."

Ava stepped back into the opening of the orb, between the Frost Giants and the city, and kept her bow drawn. "No."

Laufey's smile faded. "Control your queen or I will."

Loki watched the small group come around the stairs and head for the bridge. Ava could not take all of them at once and at this distance would not get more than one. She released her arrow anyway, planting it right into the skull of the Frost Giant beside Laufey. The great ice king backhanded her before she could get another arrow into place and as she stumbled he wrapped his great hand around her throat. The armour she had on protected her skin from the burning touch but the cold was uncomfortable and stung brutally against her flesh.

Ava dropped her bow and reached for a knife but Laufey's free hand bent her wrist painfully away. The smell of seared skin lifted and she cried out at the burn. Her sound was cut off as she was lifted into the air. The girl clawed at the hand around her neck wondering what would happen if her armour gave and his skin touched hers.

"Pretty little thing." Laufey examined her like she was a horse to be bought and sold. "A bit too loyal though?" The man laughed quietly.

Loki stepped forward very quickly. "Don't hurt her." His voice was his own; the voice Ava knew. "She was not supposed to be here."

"It did not stop her, did it?"

Ava tried to kick the giant but felt her feet beginning to tingle as her lungs began to scream. This was Loki's father…but the Loki she knew was not like this at all. All men are moulded by those around them, not by those within them. Her hand burned. The sting radiated up her arm and through her shoulder.

"Put her down. This is not part of our deal."

"No, Loki. It isn't." Laufey kept his eyes on the girl. "That is why I should break her neck."

Ava gasped as his grip tightened on her. She heard her armour crack and creak, giving way slowly. Small burns spread through her skin and spots of blackness danced around her vision. Suddenly she was on her hands and knees on the floor, coughing violently, her fingers searching her neck as if they would find a way to open it for more air. Loki stood above her, bending quickly and lifting her face so he could see it. His hands pushed the hair away and his eyes searched her.

There he was. Right there. The man who had put himself between her and the Frost Giants in Jotunheim. The man she loved. He looked as if he would cry at the black skin on her wrist, at the little burns around her collarbone and under her jaw. He felt it, felt for her.

"Show us the way." Laufey spoke firmly to Loki.

The king drew back, disappearing from her again. He stepped past Ava and onto the Bifrost.

"These two will stay. They will keep her here." Two Frost Giants responded to the words and stood on either side of Heimdal. Loki did not falter as he lead two more and Laufey toward the city.

Ava could not move. She still gasped for breath, her limbs refusing to function. Shock gripped her in a paralysing way and she was overwhelmed entirely. Thor was dead and now he was alive, Loki was there and now he was gone, and now Frost Giants were in the city.

She wept for him.

In the midst of all the darkness was a cracking. So subtle and so small that it was barely noticeable at first. Then all of a sudden the sound of ice shattering broke the air and Heimdal swung his sword free of his frozen cage and right through the neck of a frost giant. His blade returned straight into the gut of the other and both fell within seconds.

The Gate Keeper stumbled on his feet and Ava was there to support him. "Heimdal."

He groaned and met her eye before staggering toward the key hole. He lifted his blade to open the Bifrost, obviously hearing and seeing as the young woman did not. He got the blade most of the way in, collapsing down past it. Ava pushed the sword the rest of the way in and dropped to her knees beside the man.

"Heimdal." She turned him onto his side and saw that he was awake. How long he had been standing there, his limbs frozen…it was a surprise he was able to function at all. "Thank you."

If he could muster the strength to come back, to stagger the final steps to bring Asgardians home – then so could she. The bridge shot out Sif and her Warriors three along with Thor in his full armour.

Thor strode right over to Ava who rose and embraced him. "I saw you die." Only now did she notice how cracked her voice was, how her throat strained after having been so crushed.

"Where is Loki?"

"No doubt in your father's chamber."

The blonde was angry and determined but different. He was no longer as bright as day, no longer black and white. He knew the shades of grey. "You are the only one he is truly selfless for, yet he has still done this."

"He is not himself but he is not lost to us. He loves you, Thor regardless of what he has done."

"I must deal with him now. Take Heimdal to the healing room."

Volstagg pulled the Gate Keeper's blade from the key hole while Fandral, Hogan and Sif began to attend to him. Thor disappeared down the Bifrost, his hammer carrying him from his feet and letting him fly at a speed no man could imagine.

Ava turned to the Warriors Three. They watched her carefully.

Sif came over quickly as Volstagg and Hogan lifted Heimdal. "What happened to you?" Her gaze was on the young woman's neck. "Are you okay?"

"Its nothing."

The woman grabbed Ava's hand. "These are Frost Giant burns."

The girl looked at her friend and they shared a look. Sif embraced Ava and they headed toward the palace, her men supporting Heimdal and his blade. They reached the healing rooms in no time and the Gate Keeper was whisked away before anyone could say anything.

The warriors had minor bruises, scrapes and burns but nothing serious. Ava was given a cream for her burns and told they would heal without a scar, just as Volstagg's had. The young woman was exhausted. Emotionally and physically drained. She ran her fingers over her neck quietly and thought of what had happened.

Her eyes closed. Loki had taken Laufey into the palace. She could not comprehend it. She couldn't even get her mind to accept it. He had taken Odin's greatest enemy into his palace – and for what purpose? So he would be king when his father awoke?

Ava's eyes snapped open. He said he would destroy the Jotuns, not his father. It all clicked into place. All of it. Her hand flew up to her mouth as she stifled a little cry of distress.

Ava stood and was forced back down onto the inpatient bed by Sif.

"Don't. Leave it to Thor."

The young woman looked at the crumbled pieces of armour that lay around her, at the healers applying balms to the Warriors Three. Loki was giving himself an excuse to do as Thor would have done; Laufey in Asgard trying to kill Odin. It was an act of outright war and destroying the race would be more justified for such an act than it would when they simply tried to steal their treasure back. Loki was trying to be the golden son by giving the actions of the golden son a real justification and then acting out on it. But he had believed Thor wrong to begin with, believed it wrong to march on Jotunheim. And now he was doing the same thing but with such malicious intent.

"Loki will not expect Thor to be back." Sif said. "His plan is ruined."

"No." Ava said. "It's beyond his control - and that's much worse."

The warrior frowned and this time did not try to stop the young woman as she hurried out of the room. Ava went straight to Odin's chambers. Within she found the king sleeping, his wife at his side, and a frost giant slain on the floor. On the wall of the room was a large hole and below lay the Bifrost.

Frigga rose and embraced the young woman immediately. "Ava. Do you know how this happened?"

The girl looked at the dead giant. "Where is Laufey?"

"Loki killed him. He saved Odin."

Ava nodded and swallowed. "Did he say what he would do next?"

"He said he would destroy Jotunheim." The queen was obviously concerned by this. "But Thor has gone after him. I am sure…"

Even as she assumed the best a huge bang exploded from the direction of the Bifrost. Ava's gaze shot up to see the great bridge opening, its power shooting forth but this time it did not close. It was as if a naughty little schoolboy was trying to write is wrongs with another prank. It never worked. It would never work. But he didn't know that.

"The Bifrost will build until it rips Jotunheim apart." Ava spoke under her breath. "He's gone too far."

The queen was silent.

The girl turned to her desperately. "What am I supposed to do? I have to do something. I can't not do something for him." She clung to the woman's arms, her finger tips digging through her dress. "I cant see him like this."

Frigga pulled Ava close. "Loki will do what he thinks is right."

"But he isn't thinking." Ava felt her jaw tremble. "He is running on anger and envy and the secret of his birth. He needs so much more than simple acts of royalty to prove himself a son of Odin now; he believes that he has to do so much more."

The queen knew this and looked at Ava. "It is up to him. You cannot carry his burdens."

"But neither can he."

"Let him struggle, Ava. He has to be able to do it for himself."

"He has been by himself for too long with no one to tell him right from wrong. You love him and he loves you but that does not mean he understands why, that he can justify why."

Frigga was silent for a long time. "You know him differently to I, but I am his mother."

"Then you know he is not himself. He is acting and saying things that Loki would not do. Things that just days ago he was opposed to. He would never send a Destroyer; never try to destroy a race of people. He is trying so hard. Too hard. He is looking for equality in all the wrong places and…and he is dying inside."

The queen drew Ava near again. The young woman looked out of the hole in the wall, no doubt from a battle between Thor and Loki, and she watched the Bifrost spin out of control. The girl could not see what was happening on the bridge, what sort of argument was transpiring; but the bridge remained open and that meant Loki had not backed down.

"Thor died on earth." Ava said quietly. "The Destroyer killed him. He scarified himself for his friends." Her words sunk through Frigga's shoulder. "There was a girl who was by his side as he passed. Who will be with Loki? Will I find him in time?" Silence. "To be so alone when all you have known is loneliness…"

"He knows you." The queen replied sadly. "He was not lonely."

Ava squeezed her eyes shut and gasped at the pain that ripped through her. His pain. Her pain. She could give up on him right now, just walk away; but she couldn't. Not now and not from him. She knew love and quiet, vulnerability and joy, safety and warmth, anger and frustration, pain and heartache; and she knew him.

She knew the colour of his eyes and the feel of his skin against hers. She knew the taste of his mouth and the way he breathed when he slept. She had touched his heart, seen his soul, and he had done the same for her. They had been laid bare, laid honest, laid true and there had been nothing to hide, nowhere to hide, and so many places open for hurt. In its place there was love and light and warmth and that memory was worth more than a thousand regular loves.

Ava would make a map with those memories in the darkness because she knew she was lost in there too; not as he was but lost all the same. She would listen for his heartbeat and stay in the darkness with him; no day, no light, only the hope that it would come. That this was not a self destructive cycle but rather something with a beginning and an end; that some day it would stop.

Ava would fight for him but she never promised she would win. She promised she would find him but she never promised a return journey for two.

A great explosion ripped through Asgard. Ava released Frigga and looked out at the city. The Bifrost lifted up on itself, the water below and the sky above shifting and moving as the bridge shattered into a thousand pieces. It blew back from a point near the orb, the blast sending air from over the sea through into Odin's chamber.

Ava ran to the hole in the wall and grasped its edges. When she turned she saw the bed empty. The sheets were not even disturbed; it was as if Odin had just vanished from beneath them.

The orb crumbled, the blast to Jotunheim breaking and falling. Pieces of gold and bridge fell into the abyss at the end of their world.

The girl felt no air in her lungs, no blood in her veins. At the end of that bridge was a little boy looking for acceptance. At the end of that bridge was the man she loved. She and Frigga left Odin's chamber quickly and hurried through the palace to where the Bifrost met its walls, hearts in throats and minds spinning.

Ava's feet hit the Bifrost and she ran. She ran with all she had left down the bridge toward the point of its breaking. That was where Loki would be. The destruction had been stopped, Odin was no longer asleep, and Thor was back; surely he could come to his senses now. Surely he could come home.

The girl slowed when she saw two figures walking down the bridge, their paces slow. Thor lifted his head, exhausted, to look at her. His expression changed when he saw who it was. Ava stopped running and came to an abrupt halt.

Odin walked beside his son.

The girl searched for the third but there wasn't one. When Thor reached her she wore a confused, frantic expression. "Where is Loki?"

The blonde was miserable "He fell."

"What do you mean he fell? Where is he?"

"Ava, he is gone."

"He cant be. He was here only a minute ago." She stepped past Thor and onto the bridge. All that was left was a staccato sheet of colour and a shattered end. A broken end. "He has to come home now. He has to come back."

"Ava…" Odin's voice permeated her mind.

That was it. The ground under her feet collapsed and the bridge was soon pressed up against her hands. She crumbled; not giving up, just giving in. Ava wanted to drown. She wanted to just give up now, just let it all end. But something always reached down to her and dragged her up, pulling with it memories of sitting in a field and getting caught in the rain. Memories of warm nights and sincere touches. She could not let the water take her yet. Not while Loki was consumed by something so far beyond her understanding.

And that made it so much worse because he was gone, gone before she could understand. Gone before she could help. He was gone. He fell through time and space alone, thinking he was alone, his last memory of her being of burns and despair.

Ava couldn't breath. She gasped for air as her chest heaved itself open.

The girl felt herself leave her body. He was missing from her. He fell. He had fallen. In more ways than one. Loki had been misguided and lost and shrouded in darkness but he had still been Loki – she had seen him, felt him. He had been there.

He had been there.

Ava felt her knees on the bridge, her hands on its surface. She felt the cold wind through her skin and the burns stinging her flesh. But most of all she felt raw and naked and paralysed. Was he dead now? Was it quick? How quick was quick anyway? Maybe that second lasted forever, organs being crushed and filled with blood, limbs breaking and minds shattering for all eternity until that second passed and so did they.

He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't. Not Loki. Ava could not imagine a world without him now that they had met and she could not imagine a world he had left now that he was gone.

He couldn't be gone.

A hand found her shoulder. "Come."

It was Thor. Ava shook her head, still gasping for breath. "I want to see him."

"You wouldn't have wanted to see him then. That man was not Loki. Not until the very end."

The girl looked at the god of thunder. "What did he say?"

"He believed he could do it. Believed he could achieve father's love through his actions. But he already had that love he…" Thor stopped.

So he had been there. Loki had been there in the end and Loki had fallen; not his anger, not his rage, not his envy – Loki. The God of Mischief, the Prince of Asgard, the Son of Odin. Loki. And he had gone with his anger, rage, and envy; and he had gone with his loneliness. They were all that accompanied him, wherever he was.

Ava felt her gut wrench and pull and she wanted to throw up. Her limbs did not work and her mind over loaded.

A star had fallen from the sky and blinded her. She screamed and no words came out. It was dark, black as anything, and so cold. Something ripped through the girl, leaving her hollow and light as air. The moon and sun had gone out, they had been devoured by devastation and anger and shadow.

She remembered his heartbeat under her fingers and knew somehow she could find her way back to him. Going forth in the darkness would be much more hopeless than she ever imagined. But she couldn't stop now. Not for him. Not without him.

There would be no dawn. Not for Ava.

He left her in the darkness. So darkness consumed her. And darkness she became.

* * *

_There will be another chapter and a prologue.  
Tell me what you thought. I really do hope you liked this chapter. It's nearly double the length of the others, hence why it took a little longer to get up here (that and I had work and the flu); sorry for the wait.  
Remember to review!_

P. 


	19. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17  
**

* * *

Days don't stop passing. They never do. Worlds keep spinning, lives keep going, and nothing ever stops because of anything private, for anything one single person ever wishes it would stop for. Time moving forward hurt, it felt so empty, so desperate. It just went on and on without a care.

Ava felt crippled. She lay in her bed without sleeping, sat at meals without eating, and let the days go past without her. It had not been long since Loki had fallen with the Bifrost but it felt like an eternity had crushed itself down on her. They were planning a memorial for him since you could have no funeral without a body. Even Heimdal could not see where the man had fallen, could not see where he landed, nor whether he moved again after that. He could have been pulverised by the infinity of space, devoured whole by time itself; there was no closure.

The palace spoke a lot; noblemen and their wives and daughters talked amongst themselves about what had happened. Ava found her friends turning their backs from her, she who loved the king who fell from grace. Gossip was a painful thing, but she did not feel it. Did not know it.

The girl just was. She felt each breath burning inside of her; even the balms that had been rubbed into the burns she had sustained from Laufey were nothing to what was going on inside. She healed from those wounds, they vanished without a trace; but inside…inside was a mess, a room of shattered glass and bare feet where every breath burned like fire and every sight was dulling like the eyesight of the nearly-blind.

"Ava." Erik walked into his daughter's room and found her sitting in a chair that overlooked the city. "Ava, come."

He smiled encouragingly and held out a hand to her. He knew she was hurting and that it had only been a few days, but he wanted to get her whole again; wanted to see her heart in one piece.

"We shall go riding together." The man saw her eyes turn to his. "It is a good day for a ride."

Ava turned back to the view. She looked exhausted. "Not today, father."

Erik knelt in front of his child. "My child, talk to me."

The girl squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed before taking in the nothingness before her again. "I cannot. I cannot put into words how…how desperate…he was not the man…" She shook her head.

Her father wrapped his arms around her and felt her gasp and shudder into his shoulder as she cried. Her fingers clawed at the arm of her seat, at the back of his shirt as she tried to find something to hold onto as she drowned. But nothing physical could bring her back up.

The man held her for a long time. Ava cried herself into exhaustion and fell into an uneasy, short lived sleep. Erik had lifted her like he had when she was a girl, like when she had fallen asleep at parties and he had carried her home, and slipped her into her bed.

She woke shortly after, alone and cold despite the warmth of the evening. Without thinking Ava slipped her bare feet onto the corridors of the palace and hurried through to the royal suites. The guards let her through as they had a thousand times before; the girl unknowing of the rumours of plot and attempted murder stirring behind her back. They thought she had wanted to take over as Loki's queen, to sit beside him and rule Asgard. But she had never wanted that. He had never wanted that. She just wanted to love him. Love him every single day. Be there for him every single day.

Ava closed the door behind her when she got to Loki's room and stood with her back to it for a long time. Everything was exactly as he had left it; the tables with books, the sofas and their throws, the rugs, the fires, the view. It still smelled like him, still tasted like he was just around the corner.

The girl climbed under the covers of his bed and lay in silence. She half expected his arms around her, his mouth against the back of her neck, and some soft words as the sun started to go down. She half expected to turn over and see him in a sleepy haze, smiling as she kissed him.

But the bed was empty on both sides and all that was left was a scent.

Ava lay there in silence. Not moving. Not speaking. Not crying. She just lay there with her eyes closed and her hands empty and trembling.

After an hour or so, just as the sun had gone down, the door opened. Frigga stood in the opening and watched the little body in her son's bed. She did not say anything, she just crossed the floor and sat down on the mattress, her hand on Ava's shoulder.

"He loved you so much." The queen said in her gentle, elegant tones. "He would have moved the stars for you if he could."

Ava inhaled shakily but remained silent.

"He was so happy with you. You made him so glad."

The girl did not move. "It wasn't enough." Her voice was raw.

Frigga ran her hand down Ava's arm. "It was more than enough. He wasn't himself; power does that to you. It makes you see everything you ever missed, makes you think you could fix a scar that was already healed. The man in those final days was a man of envy and anger trying to cure himself of those two afflictions; he was not the man you loved."

"But I did love him. I do love him." It was like getting stabbed by a thousand shards of ice. "He lost his way, that's all. He could…he would have come back. He would have seen how…"

"Shhh." The queen calmed her. She herself was mourning, so was her family, but this girl was alone in her sorrow; she had not loved Loki as family and did not miss him as a son or brother – it was a whole new pain, a terribly different affliction.

"He was so alone." Ava whispered. "I wasn't there. I didn't find him in time."

"Hush." Frigga lifted the girl up gently and wiped a tear away with her thumb. She was aged at the loss of her son, tired and full of grief. "He would not have wanted this for you. Tomorrow you will come to his memorial and remember everything good. Tonight you will sleep."

"He was all alone." The girl stared into the middle distance. "He fell while I stood in a king's chamber and wondered what I could do to bring him back. I could have been there. I could have been there and stopped him. I would…would have gone after him without a second thought."

"No." Frigga said steadily. "A man who loved you like Loki did would not want you to do this to yourself."

"It wasn't a week ago when we were talking about a house with a view of the sea, about…about children with his eyes. Isn't that ridiculous?" Ava laughed breathlessly. She had to stop, her hand coming up over her mouth to cover a small cry.

Frigga knew the girl would not sleep in her own bed, and that this one would hurt her with its emptiness, but a mourner follows their heart and this was where the girl's had led her. "Shhh."

"He was alone."

The queen shook her head. "Thor and his father were there."

"Not in the way he needed them to be." Ava clenched her jaw.

Frigga inhaled unsteadily. "You must rest, Ava."

The girl nodded and lay back down, turning away from the woman and curling up into a ball in the hopes that it would quell the pain in her body. It didn't. Not even a little bit. The queen left quietly knowing that she would not get much sleep that night, and that Ava would get even less.

The young woman lay there thinking over and over that he could not be gone. He just couldn't be. It was unthinkable to be without him, to imagine him gone. There were a thousand ways to grieve but none that let you know how to go on with life afterwards. Ava didn't want to go on with life. He had been in that life and now he wasn't and it was as if the whole universe had crumbled into nothing and there was eternal darkness. No air, no light, no movement; just nothing. Nothing but the feeling in her gut that cried out with pain, the way her heart beat desperately, and the way her mind prayed for something greater than grief and love; but there is nothing greater.

0.0.0

Odin took it upon himself to visit Ava an hour before the memorial was to take place. She was in her room in a gown of black with straps and a neck of gold. Her mood was not light and her eyes were tired. She was running on her emotions, on her heart, and she grew restless.

"You look lovely." The Allfather spoke in his usual calm, collected, dominating tone.

The girl dipped her head to him. "Thank you."

Odin glanced around the room. It was neat and tidy, aired and bright. "How are you doing? I understand you and my son were a great partnership."

The girl fixed an earring into place. She exhaled evenly, her heart's remnants cracking under the weight of the day. "We were."

"You are angry." He spoke. "You blame yourself. There is nothing you could have done for him, Ava."

She nodded. "I know that there is nothing I could have done, but it does not mean I would not have tried." She paused, her eyes hardening. "And there was so much more you could have done."

Odin frowned briefly. "What do you mean?"

"All their life you told Thor and Loki they were both born to be kings. You never told Loki that he was born to be king of Jotunheim, you let him think that he was worse than Thor, that he lived in a shadow. And then as soon as his true parentage came to light he believed, with all he was, that he could never be truly loved by you, that he had never been truly loved by you, because he was not yours – because he was not Thor." Ava clenched her jaw. "You might have loved him, you might have wanted to protect him, but all you did was make it hurt more, make it affect him more, make him fall further."

Odin did not seem mad, did not seem hurt; he just stood in all his aptitude and grace and tried to understand her.

Ava swallowed. "I'm sorry. I just…why did you take him?"

"He was just a child." The Allfather replied.

"There are many who are abandoned and orphaned for war. Why the child of your enemy? Beyond all peace talks and unity theories, beyond all else, why did you take him?"

The king of Asgard, in all his power, smiled quietly, sadly and looked Ava in the eyes. "Because he smiled and so readily accepted the light and warmth of Asgard even in a place of such cold abandonment. He had the potential for great good, great warmth."

Ava was nearly yelling now. She was thinking as she spoke and not filtering her words. "You his own father did not want him and left him to die; from birth he was an outcast and…he was good; different to Thor but still so good. All his life he has been in the shadows and he deserved more."

Odin took a moment to let her settle as she waited for a reply. "You are right, he was different to Thor and he was treated as such. Loki did not see his equality because he expected it to come in the same manner as it was given to Thor."

"Why didn't you tell him what he was? It was all so much for him - Thor's banishment, his parentage, your falling into the Odin Sleep, his ascending the throne, Jotunheim...I believe you loved him, that you considered him your flesh and blood; but I don't believe you had a purpose for some of the things that happened. You were so focused on Thor's coronation that you never saw all the effort Loki put into being a good and worthy son. Why else would he go so far to try to get your attention?"

Odin was silent. "You were good for him. You brought out all that was selfless and light. Whatever darkness consumed him it was not because of you, and it was not because of me. It was because of something inside of him. All of us have potential for great good or great evil."

"He is not evil. He never was, not truly." Ava felt her throat closing. "He was just misguided."

The king smiled sadly. "He was lucky to have you."

The girl swallowed the knot in her throat.

Odin put his hand on her shoulder. "You would have made a great queen."

"I don't want to be queen." She replied. "I just want him back."

The king glanced down. "I know, child. I know."

0.0.0

The memorial was a small affair. The rumours had spread about; that he had been mad with envy, that he had tried to murder his father to maintain the throne, that he was evil to the core. They poisoned how the people had seen him, how they had known him to be a Son of Asgard. They did not see how he went to Jotunheim to protect his friends, they did not know how he told stories about the constellations, or how he loved his family. All people remember is what they are told, not the actual sequence of events or the truth behind it all. And they had been told of darkness, bitterness, and upheaval.

There was no body, nothing to say goodbye to. Sif and her Warriors Three were quiet and did not say anything of their battle on earth or Thor's mortal death. They did not say anything at all but you could feel it oozing off them; that they saw Loki as a product of jealousy and rage. They did not remember him. Not truly. The feast thrown afterwards was a beautiful affair. Everyone dressed in their finest and came readily.

It was a regular party on the surface but every so often someone would approach the queen and tell her they were sorry for her loss, or they would remind Thor about the great battles he and Loki had gone on.

It was only in the light of the party that they seemed to remember the god of mischief as a prince. They knew him as royalty, as a magician, as Thor's brother, as Odin's son; but Ava knew him as Loki. And she missed him terribly; it hurt her to see that no one had known him as she did, that no one remembered him as she did. She knew the good side of him and the bad, she had seen him consumed and overcome and she had seen him great and bright. She knew his facets, his moods, his secrets.

And there everyone was telling stories of battles and mischief, or tales of Thor that Loki ended up in; not of how he protected his friends, how he loved his family, how he worked so hard to be worthy.

Ava sat quietly beside Sif. Her own friends had become distant after all that had happened. The warrior was smiling and laughing. Smiling and laughing until Thor walked past and she saw that he was hurting still.

Thor knew Loki as a brother, knew him without the comparison between siblings. Thor loved him. Missed him. Mourned him. He and Ava had sat beside each other after the memorial and stared at the city in silence, soaking in the different types of grief one can experience over a single person. Thor had not seen the side of Loki that was full of envy and he had been caught off guard. They all had been caught off guard but the brother had not understood the reason.

Sif rose and followed the man, stopping beside the queen as Thor continued out of the party and toward where his father stood.

"My queen, I am so sorry for your loss." She said evenly. Awkwardly. "How is he?"

Frigga looked after her son. "He mourns for his brother." There was a pause. "And he misses her – the mortal."

Ava listened to this. Thor had been through much in the past few days. In light of it all everyone forgot the individual struggles, but the man was home now, home with the people he loved and in the city he knew; within the realm that bore him.

Things seemed to have moved on. To the fact that Thor was still in training to be king, that the Bifrost was broken, that on earth a little mortal girl searched for a demi-god. Heimdal said earth was not lost, that there was always hope. Perhaps there was. Maybe.

It was all so confused now. Thor concerned himself with a mortal girl and learning from his father, Frigga watched over him and her husband and Odin resumed the rulership of Asgard. The world went on.

Just on and on and on when she was stuck on him. And she didn't want to move.

Ava sat at the table for a long time after her friends had left. She then proceeded to wander into the palace, her skin feeling cold and bloodless, her soul raw and empty. She would have gone after him. She would have leapt off the bridge into the abyss; she had promised to follow into the darkness and when he had been consumed by the greatest darkness of all…she hadn't been there.

But it wasn't too late. As Heimdal said – there was always hope.

Ava walked the long low corridors of the palace. She wound her way back and forth, her feet carrying her away from people and into silence. The air started to smell of the sea and salt collected on her skin. The door before her led to that beach, the little one he had shown her the night before they became one.

The girl pushed it open and stepped onto the cold sand. The night above was clear, all the stars and all the stories he told her about them high above. She remembered that night in the rain when he had joined her to look at the stars. She remembered growing as his friend but still feeling that happy unsteadiness in her stomach. The girl remembered how it was to kiss him the first time and every time after that. How it was to tell him secrets, to listen to him, to taste him in her mouth and feel him against her skin.

Ava had truly loved him. Loved him with every single fibre of her being. She still did. She wanted him forever and she thought about this as she stepped toward the water. She had wanted him for every single day of forever; even after everything that had transpired.

The girl looked up at the stars. He was out there somewhere. Somewhere. His hand empty, his body cold and hers no where near to keep him warm. They wouldn't get to slow dance in the water again or go riding though the great fields.

He would never be there when she fell off. Never be there to protect her and comfort her. When she was dragged behind her horse, dirty, bruised, concussed; he had loved her and worried for her and been there to bring her home. Loki would have gone into the darkness for her and now he never could. It did not mean that she could not do it for him even now.

Ava stepped into the water and felt it stick her dress to her legs. The black mixed with the water and got lost somewhere in its hue.

"You told your mother you would move the stars for me." She whispered, looking up. "I don't want you to move them; you are my stars."

Ava continued to walk out into the water. She felt it climb her knees, wrap around her hips, her waist.

"I told you I would come after you." She spoke with a little smile, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I'll find you."

Ava felt the water at her ribs and stopped for a long moment. The tide rolled gently in and out. She closed her eyes and exhaled. She was exhausted; her body was so tired and so wrecked with sorrow. The girl felt like she had been rubbed raw, like she was bleeding and could not quell the flow. She felt like her organs had died and her limbs had become useless but that she was still somehow alive, living this ghostly life of paralysis and pain.

Ava opened her eyes and walked until her feet drifted off the sand. Then she looked to the stars one last time and smiled. Her face disappeared below the surface as she exhaled and she let her body drift in the gentle current.

She was scared.

Drowning is terrifying. Your lungs scream so loud that it feels like the popping in your ears is from their pain. Your heart runs slowly, scarily, like a bell tolling for your death. And in your mind you see everything you ever loved. Everything you would miss and everything you hoped would miss you.

You see everything; the light pulling through cracks in the surface, the pattern of the water on your skin, the way your hair float in the current. It's beautiful but you can't appreciate it for the explosions in your head, the blind panic.

And it gets to you. You want to cry but you don't know the difference between the water and your tears. And then you start to swallow water in the hope it makes things go faster. We all want to slow life down until it comes to an end; then it couldn't come fast enough.

Ava had to fight her body as it cried out for air. She had to struggle to stop from pushing off the bottom of the sea and surfacing. And then it just went silent. Just quiet. Her body had accepted what her mind was doing and relaxed.

The girl watched the light on her skin, felt the way her dress tangled in her legs. She would be with him soon. She would be in the same darkness and she would find him.

She would find him.

Ava closed her eyes.

In her dream she felt tugging and pulling. She felt hands on her skin and heard yelling in her ear. She felt her lungs stretching and screaming all over again and the panic flooded back over her. The panic of drowning reversed itself and all the calm disappeared.

The girl opened her eyes and felt her stomach retch. Her chest felt bruised, like it had been crushed, and her head split itself open for the pain. But she wasn't dead. Death would be nicer. Death would have taken the exhaustion and rawness of loss away. It wouldn't have let her grieve.

The night was still out and the beach still quiet. Ava lay on her side vomiting water and coughing up salt. She turned and saw her mother kneeling in the sand beside her, panting and drenched.

"You are not allowed to do that." She said. "Niklaus did not have a choice and neither do you. You are not allowed to do that."

Ava was furious. "Why did you pull me out?" Despair clouded her voice. "I want to die." Saying it was brutal even to herself. "Just let me go."

Eira lifted her daughter and searched her frantically as a mother does. She saw that Ava was alright, that her limbs were limp from desolation and her eyes empty from sorrow. She drew her child close and ran her hand over her hair.

"I know what it is" Eira's tone was knowing "I know what it is to lose someone you have invested your life into. And this is not the answer."

Ava shook her head. "I don't want to be you. I don't want to be a shadow, a ghost, always grieving. I just want to go. Let me go."

The woman held her daughter, feeling no struggle in her. She didn't say anything as the girl whimpered and began to cry against her. Eira had watched her child leave the party and had seen the emptiness in her. She followed quietly and waited. When she saw the beach she knew it had been special but only when Ava was waist deep did she start to consider the intentions of her daughter.

It had taken a while to get out there in evening wear. Ava's dress blended into the water like bleeding ink and her lips had already started to turn blue by the time they were on the shore again. There would not be three ghosts in their family, not under her watch. What Ava had done was not for herself, it was not going to be an entirely selfish death; she wanted to be with him so he wouldn't be alone, so he could be happy. That was what true love was; giving up yourself for the other person's happiness. But not like this.

Ava still felt the water carrying her. Still wished she was in its grip. She wished her lungs full of water and her hear still. She wanted to drown, to be consumed.

Eira stood with her daughter and got no argument back from her. Ava was too overwhelmed, to tired to fight back. Half way back, when she was struggling to get her daughter back, Thor appeared. He came out of nowhere, still in his formal attire, and put an arm under Ava so her mother could walk freely. His face was surprised but he was quick to act. The man had been aimlessly wandering, trying to gather up the mindlessness that would let him sleep easier that night. But he had found them instead.

The god of thunder felt the weight of the girl and lifted her into his arms. "What has happened? Why is she wet?"

Eira glanced back down the way they had come. "She walked into the sea."

There was a silence. Thor looked at the woman for a long time before turning his face to Ava. "Why would you do this?"

The girl closed her eyes and breathed slowly. "I made a promise."

"Loki would never hold you to a promise like this."

Ava didn't reply. Thor held her closer, held her as if she would flee from him. He took her to her room and sat her down in a chair.

"You must stay with us." Thor said. "Stay for him."

The girl looked right through him. For days she was under the constant watch of her mother and of Thor. Her father never found out, neither did anyone else. No one else knew that she was shattered to pieces and that picking them up would break her further. No one knew how destructive love could be or how worth the destruction lovers think it is.

But slowly her world started to turn again and the bloody pieces of herself started to get put back together. They were cracked and crooked and never the same but they came together to form a whole. A whole with a piece missing.

Time hadn't stopped, she had. But for her family, for Thor, for the fact her mother had come alive to keep her alive, she went onwards with the clock. Ava felt for Eira, felt her hollowness where Niklaus was supposed to be and knew that her own pain would extend into an eternity. It was not a love she would get over, not a life she would live again differently; now she had known it, known him, she would not change. Not knowing would be worse than losing. And she had lost. It ripped her apart like a wild animal but…there was always hope.

After all; he couldn't be gone. He had been there not long ago. He couldn't be gone. He just couldn't have ceased to exist. There was no dawn, no dusk, just darkness. But it had become a good darkness because he was in it somewhere. And she would find him in this world or the next; no matter what it took she would find him.

* * *

_This was the final chapter. There will be an epilogue and a sequel for The Avengers.  
So let me know what you thought. Your input is so valuable to me and I know I say it all the time but I really do appreciate the effort you all have put into reading and reviewing this story. I have a few anonymous/not-logged-in reviewers and to them I say a huge thank you here since I cant message you back. You're all amazing and I never imagined I would have such wonderful support for this story (and an OC story at that). _

_Remember you can ask me anything on my tumblr. Ask me about what will be in the sequel (better yet, tell me what you want to see in it), ask me about life, ask me how to make a cake. I dont mind. My tumblr is where I get to express myself and where you can come to me outside of a story. Its always open for you.  
_

_Keep safe. Keep reading.  
Blessings,  
P.  
_


	20. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

Days grow long and weary when one is lonely. The silence afflicts the soul; it eats it away and all because it is allowed to. Loneliness devours and it is invited to its own feast. Beautiful days stay just as beautiful, good food is still good, friendly company is still friendly, and the heart keeps beating – but all with a background noise. All with a subconscious soul whistling about in the dark spaces of the mind.

It can be stopped. Its always possible to stop. But sometimes you don't want it to. Sometimes it reminds you of something better, gives you hope.

Ava Sijur stood at the of the broken Bifrost, her feet near its shattered remains and the whole universe before her stretching onwards and outwards, downward and up. She closed her eyes and felt the breeze that came out of the blackness that drifted in from distant realms. It was not a true blackness; galaxies glowed in the distance, stars shone perpetually – even in the daylight. But there it was; the brink of it all.

How scared he must have been. Letting go and falling into that, into its infinity….the girl closed her eyes. Heimdal was beside her. He never left the bridge now. He just stood and watched and waited. He had not seen once before and perhaps, on the whim of a hope, he was blind again. Perhaps a good man was still out there, a good man eaten away by envy and rage, a good man who was so lost to himself that he no longer saw by his own light or that of others.

She would remain lonely forever if he was no longer around. A great love, a pure love – you can never recover. You can never give up. Pain is part of the deal, pain and anger and frustration. But so is joy and hope and truth and light and the vulnerability and safety and warmth that came with those…it was like drowning. Drowning without the panic and terror, without the screaming silence. It wasn't giving up, it was giving in.

And she'd never give up on him. Never. Not then. Not now. Not ever. Not until the sun rose in the west and set in the east, not until the rivers ran dry and the mountains blew in the wind as leaves.

She promised.


	21. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

I recently got an anonymous review asking if I had borrowed a few elements from a story called "Deep Dark and Dangerous". I cannot reply to the reviewer but I just want to let readers know that I hadnt heard of the book until today. I googled it and its a horror about a girl who finds a picture of a stranger in an attic so I dont really see any parallel to The Arms of The Ocean but I do appreciate that someone let me know that they thought there was a similarity.  
The review was only for the first chapter so maybe the reader's opinion will change. I am grateful for all of your input and I do thank that reader for letting me know their thoughts.

I just wanted to be honest with you all about it and let you know what was going on and what my opinion was. Please let me know if you ever feel like my writing is an imitation of something else you have seen.

Blessings,  
P.

Just found out that the reviewer might have meant another LokixOC story by Why so Sirius1236...which I hadnt heard of either. If you have any concerns please feel free to come to me about them. I would hate for anyone to get the wrong impression about me or my writing.


	22. A Tumblr

**Ava Sijur**

* * *

Ava has her own blog! It is on tumblr and the URL is _ ava-sijur _(dot tumblr dot com)  
You can now ask her things on that blog if you want. You can do it anonymously without an account if you prefer (though I will not respond to hate, only constructive criticism). I know a lot of you might RP on tumblr and you can come and do some ask-box RP or submit style RP if you want.  
Its really for fun and you can interact with Ava from any point on her timeline; before Loki, before Loki's fall, after The Avengers - its up to you. I want to provide you readers with the opportunity to interact with the character while we wait for the next movie.

Hope to see you all soon.  
P.


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